14 Month Old Behavior – Exactly How I Used Positive Parenting to Ultimately Get My Kids to Listen

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14 Month Old Behavior
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first came to be a mama, I understood that I wanted to do things in a different way than how I was parented. My mom and dad did the very best they could, but they didn’t have accessibility to the myriad of positive parenting tools available today. 14 Month Old Behavior

There were a few books on our shelf about dealing with power struggles, how to control the stubborn child, as well as how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m not sure just what they found out in those books, however I experienced a lot of spanking, a lot of yelling, and also a great deal of just plain tempers raging.

It was a difficult period of time. And our relationship is still not the best today, although I have truly forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve come to realize that, while no person is perfect, it is our obligation to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to break the cycle when I became a mommy.14 Month Old Behavior

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my answer 14 Month Old Behavior

My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I started reviewing blog posts regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, shouting, severe punishments and pretty much every other traditionally approved parenting method.

I started to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I understand there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to have their needs satisfied. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Handling power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how all of these ideas bring about healthy and balanced child development 14 Month Old Behavior

14 Month Old Behavior

During my learning experience, my other half Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought a different perspective. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had seen firsthand how being the “mean dad” could appear to benefit temporarily. In the long run, it was only fostering disrespect, contempt and also bitterness in what was intended to be a caring parent-child relationship.

Considering his history as well as learning specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying and also employing positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyway? 14 Month Old Behavior

Initially, let me inform you what it does not indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a passive parent

• Overlooking major misbehavior

• Offering your children whatever they ask for 14 Month Old Behavior

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no limits

You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method acknowledges the fact that collaboration always yields better long-lasting outcomes than forced control.

Parents that adopt this design have learned to promote:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Establishing healthy and balanced boundaries

• Building a child’s foundational character qualities

Assisting children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not due to the fact that they fear punishment if they do not … After all, what happens once they’re adults and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be listened to and also valued

• Encouraging kids to grow their self-restraint

• Going much deeper than simple outside compliance and also focusing on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first began on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t envision that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as yelling. That’s exactly how I was treated as a child, and I just had no understanding about anything different. 14 Month Old Behavior

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.

Here are a couple of the strategies Amy shares to encourage you to evolve into the mama or daddy you’ve always wished to be, and also assist your child to reach his/her highest potential.

Identify the root of the behavior

I told you this is deep stuff. It’s typically much easier (as well as much more common in today’s world) to presume children are simply spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

We can get a great deal farther toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They real needs much like you as well as me. And also many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. 14 Month Old Behavior

As an example, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet formed. That implies they can go from happy one moment to complete tantrum the next. Instead of battling a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Toddlers have little self-discipline to begin with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is typically a main emotion under it

• A lot of angry children are actually anxious and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any kind of basic needs that need to be addressed initially. For example, if a child is hungry or exhausted, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Concentrate on meeting that big need first.

• Validate his feelings without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re really angry since I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I know it’s hard since you genuinely wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if necessary.

• Focusing too much on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a huge hug and say “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands right into clenched fists and growl. The objective is to allow him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you previously that positive parenting benefits any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and everyone in between. So let’s talk about young adults in our following example … 14 Month Old Behavior

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we want to obtain from our child, we should be prepared to give. If I am rude, manipulative as well as sarcastic to my young adult simply because I “have every right because I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you assume that communicates to my child?

It is much easier to give respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mom or dad, you can set the standard as well as communicate to your teenager that you value their viewpoint, and also you appreciate them as an individual. 14 Month Old Behavior

This doesn’t indicate you have to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you expect to set the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.

In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our teen to treat us with more respect, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. 14 Month Old Behavior

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer care rep on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking about. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this one with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …

Just recently, my two girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and also she said she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then came back as well as returned the stolen sticker label, apologized and asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and begun playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or manipulate any person to resolve the problem. As well as yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You know why? 14 Month Old Behavior

Due to the fact that we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, exactly how to settle disputes, as well as even exactly how to say sorry. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everyone around us with respect, as well as model the habits we want, you would be amazed at what’s possible.

Some readers may be curious about my hubby, Antonio, as well as his 2 teen boys from a previous marriage. Over time, Antonio has begun parenting positively also, as well as the restoration of their relationship is nothing short of a miracle.

So exactly how can you become a positive parent? 14 Month Old Behavior

This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I have actually ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be challenging to transform your old ways. Little by little, you will make improvements. And a year or more from now, you will not believe how much you have actually altered, in addition to the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I recommend anyone who is serious about coming to be a much more positive mommy or father to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. 14 Month Old Behavior

You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any number of media networks. Her materials have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely apply every day.

In her complimentary webinar, Amy shares how to get kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT manipulating or screaming. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, and discover how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button below. 14 Month Old Behavior


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