18 Month Old Cries All The Time – Just How I Applied Positive Parenting to Ultimately Get My Kids to Behave

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18 Month Old Cries All The Time
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first became a mommy, I knew that I wished to do things differently than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the best job they could, however they didn’t have accessibility to the variety of positive parenting tools offered today. 18 Month Old Cries All The Time

There were a couple of books on our shelf regarding taking care of power struggles, exactly how to control the stubborn child, and how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I definitely remember thinking at the time, “My mom and dad don’t understand me.”

I’m uncertain exactly what they discovered in those books, yet I experienced a great deal of spanking, a lot of shouting, and a great deal of just plain blowing up.

It was a hard period of time. And also our relationship is still strained today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for what happened. I’ve come to recognize that, while nobody is perfect, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to stop the cycle when I became a mama.18 Month Old Cries All The Time

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer 18 Month Old Cries All The Time

My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest daughter was born. I began reading blogs concerning just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, screaming, severe punishments and practically every other generally approved parenting strategy.

I started to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I know there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable every person to get their needs fulfilled. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Resolving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how all of these ideas result in healthy and balanced child development 18 Month Old Cries All The Time

18 Month Old Cries All The Time

In the process, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique perspective. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had witnessed firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” might appear to benefit for the moment. Long-term, it was only breeding disrespect, anger and bitterness in what was meant to be a loving parent-child relationship.

Considering his background as well as finding out precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying and also implementing positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? 18 Month Old Cries All The Time

First, let me inform you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a passive parent

• Disregarding significant misbehavior

• Giving your children everything they ask for 18 Month Old Cries All The Time

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “the real world”

• Having no boundaries

You might hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach recognizes the fact that collaboration always generates far better lasting outcomes than harsh control.

Moms and dads that embrace this concept have learned to foster:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Establishing healthy boundaries

• Developing a child’s fundamental character qualities

Helping children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they are afraid of punishment if they do not … Besides, what happens as soon as they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be heard and valued

• Helping kids to develop self-control

• Going deeper than plain external conformity as well as focusing on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t envision that there were various other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also screaming. That’s just how I was treated as a child, and I simply had no framework for anything different. 18 Month Old Cries All The Time

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.

Right here are a number of the techniques Amy teaches to help you to become the mommy or dad you’ve always wanted to be, and also assist your child to reach his/her highest potential.

Discover the root of the misbehavior

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s frequently widely accepted (as well as more usual in today’s world) to think children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.

We can get a lot farther toward solving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They real needs much like you as well as me. And also frequently their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. 18 Month Old Cries All The Time

A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-control) is not yet formed. That suggests they can go from happy one minute to major meltdown the next. Instead of battling a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-control to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that suggests there is always a main emotion below it

• The majority of upset children are really scared and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that must be addressed first. As an example, if a child is hungry or sleepy, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Concentrate on meeting that big need initially.

• Empathize with his emotions without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re truly upset since I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I understand it’s tough since you genuinely wish to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, and also I won’t allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if necessary.

• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a large hug and also say “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into fists and growl. The goal is to enable him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you previously that positive parenting benefits any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everyone in between. So let’s use teens in our following scenario … 18 Month Old Cries All The Time

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we wish to get from our child, we should agree to offer before anyone else. If I am impolite, controlling and sarcastic to my teen merely because I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?

It is a lot easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mommy or dad, you can set the example and communicate to your teenager that you value their point of view, and also you respect them as a person. 18 Month Old Cries All The Time

This does not suggest you have to be a pushover. It does suggest you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will accomplish a lot more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we desire our teen to treat us with more respect, the very first step is to make certain that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. 18 Month Old Cries All The Time

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer support rep on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share an individual recollection …

Just recently, my 2 young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, as well as she claimed she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, after that came back and also returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and requested forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and also begun playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or manipulate anybody to resolve the dispute. As well as yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You recognize why? 18 Month Old Cries All The Time

Due to the fact that we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to deal with conflict, and even how to apologize. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with every person around us with respect, and also model the habits we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s possible.

Some readers may be curious about my husband, Antonio, and his 2 adolescent boys from a previous marriage. Gradually, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively too, as well as the repair of their connection is nothing except a miracle.

Exactly how can you become a positive parent? 18 Month Old Cries All The Time

This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to change your old way of life. However little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or more from now, you won’t believe how much you’ve altered, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.

I advise anybody that is serious about becoming a more positive mommy or father to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. 18 Month Old Cries All The Time

You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-altering for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can really use every day.

In her totally free class, Amy shares just how to get kids of any age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and discover how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the totally free class by clicking the button shown below. 18 Month Old Cries All The Time


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