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When I initially came to be a mother, I recognized that I wanted to do things in a different way than how I was parented. My mother and father did the best they could, yet they really did not have access to the huge selection of positive parenting tools offered today. 2 Year Old Playing With Poop
There were a couple of books on our shelf regarding dealing with power struggles, how to discipline the strong-willed child, and how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly recall thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”
I’m not exactly sure exactly what they discovered in those books, yet I experienced a lot of spanking, a lot of shouting, as well as a lot of just plain blowing up.
It was a difficult period of time. And also our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually come to recognize that, while no person is without fault, it is our responsibility to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to break the cycle when I became a mother.2 Year Old Playing With Poop
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer 2 Year Old Playing With Poop
My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest child was born. I started checking out blog posts concerning exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, shouting, extreme punishments as well as virtually every other commonly accepted parenting strategy.
I began to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I understand there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable every person to have their needs satisfied. I learned more about:
• Dealing with power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How all of these concepts lead to healthy child development 2 Year Old Playing With Poop
In the process, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought his own unique viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous relationship, and had experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” may appear to help temporarily. However in the long run, it was only promoting disrespect, contempt as well as bitterness in what was expected to be a loving parent-child relationship.
Considering his background and also finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining and also employing positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting really mean anyway? 2 Year Old Playing With Poop
Initially, let me tell you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids do whatever they want
• Being a lazy parent
• Overlooking significant misbehavior
• Offering your children whatever they ask for 2 Year Old Playing With Poop
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”
• Having no boundaries
You may hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method identifies the fact that cooperation consistently produces much better long-term results than forced control.
Moms and dads that adopt this concept have actually figured out how to cultivate:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced limits
• Developing a child’s foundational character qualities
• Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they are afraid of punishment if they do not … Nevertheless, what happens once they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is removed?
• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be listened to and valued
• Helping kids to develop self-control
• Going deeper than mere outward compliance and also focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially started on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were various other methods to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and also yelling. That’s how I was raised, and therefore I obviously had no understanding about anything different. 2 Year Old Playing With Poop
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has worked as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online course.
Get to the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep. It’s commonly simpler (and much more usual in today’s world) to think children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
We can get a whole lot farther toward solving power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs much like you as well as me. And also often times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain and language development spectrum. 2 Year Old Playing With Poop
As an example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-discipline) is not yet matured. That suggests they can go from joyful one minute to complete meltdown the next. So as opposed to battling a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Toddlers have little self-control to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that implies there is typically a key feeling under it
• Many angry children are in fact frightened and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that have to be met first. For example, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Concentrate on meeting that huge need initially.
• Validate his emotions without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely upset because I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I understand it’s difficult due to the fact that you really wish to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, and also I won’t allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if needed.
• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a large hug and also say firmly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and growl. The goal is to allow him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I told you earlier that positive parenting benefits any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens as well as everyone in between. So let’s talk about teenagers in our following example … 2 Year Old Playing With Poop
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we wish to get from our child, we must agree to offer before anyone else. If I am discourteous, manipulative and also sarcastic to my teenager merely due to the fact that I “have every right since I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you believe that communicates to my child?
It is much easier to provide respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mama or daddy, you can set the standard and also show your young adult that you value their point of view, and you appreciate them as an individual. 2 Year Old Playing With Poop
This doesn’t suggest you need to be a pushover. Yet it does suggest you can be kind despite disputes. It will accomplish more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we want our young adult to treat us with more respect, the very first step is to ensure that you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. 2 Year Old Playing With Poop
Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and also to the customer service representative on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking about. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this question with a resounding “Yes!” Or I could share an individual story …
Just the other day, my two girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, as well as she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back as well as returned the swiped sticker label, said sorry as well as asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and begun playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or intimidate any person to fix the conflict. And yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You recognize why? 2 Year Old Playing With Poop
Since we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, just how to fix conflict, as well as even just how to apologize. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everybody around us with respect, and also model the behavior we want, you would be astonished at what’s possible.
Some visitors might be curious about my partner, Antonio, as well as his two teenage boys from a previous marriage. Over time, Antonio has started parenting positively too, as well as the restoration of their relationship is nothing short of miraculous.
Just how can you evolve to be a positive parent? 2 Year Old Playing With Poop
This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is among the most fulfilling things I have actually ever before done. I will not lie to you – it can be hard to change your old way of life. Yet gradually, you will make improvements. And a year or more from now, you won’t believe just how much you have actually altered, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.
I recommend any person who is serious about becoming an extra positive mama or dad to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. 2 Year Old Playing With Poop
You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents around the world, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.
In her complimentary webinar, Amy shares how to help kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll assist you in starting parenting positive, and discover how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the complimentary class by clicking the button below. 2 Year Old Playing With Poop
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