2 Year Old Separation Anxiety At Night – Just How I Applied Positive Parenting to Finally Get My Kids to Listen

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2 Year Old Separation Anxiety At Night
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first became a mommy, I knew that I intended to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the very best they could, however they really did not have accessibility to the wide variety of positive parenting tools offered today. 2 Year Old Separation Anxiety At Night

There were a few books on our shelf about taking care of power struggles, how to deal with the stubborn child, as well as just how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad don’t understand me.”

I’m not sure just what they discovered in those books, but I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of screaming, as well as a lot of just plain tempers raging.

It was a difficult number of years. And also our relationship is still strained today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to realize that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to stop the cycle when I became a mama.2 Year Old Separation Anxiety At Night

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my plan 2 Year Old Separation Anxiety At Night

My own experience with positive parenting began when my first child was born. I started reading blog posts about exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, shouting, extreme punishments as well as basically every other typically accepted parenting strategy.

I began to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I know there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to get their needs satisfied. I learned about:

• Problem-solving

• Managing power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How every one of these ideas result in healthy child development 2 Year Old Separation Anxiety At Night

2 Year Old Separation Anxiety At Night

During my learning experience, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique point of view. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and also had seen firsthand just how being the “mean dad” may seem to work temporarily. But long-term, it was only promoting disrespect, anger and bitterness in what was expected to be a loving parent-child partnership.

Given his background and discovering exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining as well as applying positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting mean anyway? 2 Year Old Separation Anxiety At Night

Initially, let me inform you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Ignoring major wrongdoing

• Giving your children everything they ask for 2 Year Old Separation Anxiety At Night

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no restrictions

You may see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the truth that cooperation consistently produces much better lasting results than forced control.

Parents who embrace this concept have learned to foster:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Establishing healthy limits

• Building a child’s foundational character traits

Assisting children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not due to the fact that they fear punishment if they do not … Nevertheless, what occurs once they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is removed?

• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be heard as well as valued

• Encouraging kids to develop self-discipline

• Going deeper than mere outward conformity as well as focusing on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not imagine that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also screaming. That’s just how I was treated as a child, and I obviously had no framework for anything different. 2 Year Old Separation Anxiety At Night

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert as well as creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.

Below are a number of the strategies Amy reveals to encourage you to come to be the mommy or dad you have actually always wanted to be, and encourage your child to reach his/her complete potential.

Get to the root of the acting out

I told you this is deep. It’s usually easier (and also much more common in today’s society) to assume children are just spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

But we can get a great deal more towards fixing power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs similar to you and me. And many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. 2 Year Old Separation Anxiety At Night

For example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-control) is not yet developed. That means they can go from joyful one minute to major meltdown the next. So rather than dealing with a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-discipline to begin with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that implies there is typically a main emotion beneath it

• Many upset children are actually scared and/or very sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that need to be met first. As an example, if a child is hungry or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Concentrate on meeting that big need initially.

• Empathize with his feelings without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re really mad since I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s difficult because you truly wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if required.

• Concentrating more on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a large hug and also say “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into fists and growl. The goal is to permit him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I told you earlier that positive parenting works for every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and everything in between. So let’s think about young adults in our next scenario … 2 Year Old Separation Anxiety At Night

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we want to get from our child, we must be prepared to give. If I am rude, controlling and also sarcastic to my teen just due to the fact that I “have every right because I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?

It is a lot easier to offer respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mama or father, you can set the example as well as show your teen that you value their opinion, as well as you value them as a person. 2 Year Old Separation Anxiety At Night

This does not suggest you have to be a pushover. However it does indicate you can be kind despite disputes. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you expect to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we desire our teen to treat us with more respect, the first step is to make certain that you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. 2 Year Old Separation Anxiety At Night

Are you kind to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer care associate on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking about. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could address this one with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …

Just the other day, my 2 girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, and also she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned as well as returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry as well as requested forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and started playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or threaten any person to fix the conflict. And yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You know why? 2 Year Old Separation Anxiety At Night

Because we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to settle conflict, as well as even exactly how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with every person around us with respect, and also model the actions we desire, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some readers might be curious about my hubby, Antonio, and his 2 teen boys from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has begun parenting positively also, and the repair of their relationship is nothing except a miracle.

Just how can you evolve to be a positive parent? 2 Year Old Separation Anxiety At Night

This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I’ve ever before done. I won’t lie to you – it can be challenging to transform your old parenting style. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or more from now, you won’t think how much you have actually changed, together with the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I suggest any person that is serious about becoming a much more positive mother or father to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. 2 Year Old Separation Anxiety At Night

You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media channels. Her products have been life-altering for more than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.

In her free webinar, Amy shares just how to help kids of any age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, and discover how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button shown below. 2 Year Old Separation Anxiety At Night


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