23 Month Old Behavior – Exactly How I Applied Positive Parenting to At Long Last Get My Kids to Cooperate

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23 Month Old Behavior
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially became a mom, I knew that I intended to do things in different ways than how I was parented. My mother and father did the very best they could, but they didn’t have access to the plethora of positive parenting tools offered today. 23 Month Old Behavior

There were a few books on our bookshelf regarding dealing with power struggles, how to discipline the strong-willed child, as well as just how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I definitely remember thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”

I’m not exactly sure what exactly they learned in those books, yet I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of shouting, and also a great deal of just plain losing control.

It was a difficult number of years. And also our relationship is still strained today, although I have truly forgiven them for what happened. I have actually begun to recognize that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our duty to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wished to stop the cycle when I came to be a mom.23 Month Old Behavior

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer 23 Month Old Behavior

My own experience with positive parenting started when my first little girl was born. I began checking out material concerning how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, yelling, harsh punishments and pretty much every other traditionally approved parenting method.

I started to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I know there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to get their needs met. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Resolving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how every one of these ideas lead to healthy and balanced child development 23 Month Old Behavior

23 Month Old Behavior

Along the way, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different point of view. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage, and had witnessed firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” could appear to help temporarily. In the long run, it was just promoting disrespect, contempt as well as bitterness in what was meant to be a loving parent-child connection.

Considering his background and learning exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying as well as implementing positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting mean anyhow? 23 Month Old Behavior

Initially, let me tell you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Disregarding significant misbehavior

• Giving your children whatever they want 23 Month Old Behavior

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no restrictions

You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method recognizes the truth that cooperation always produces better long-lasting results than harsh control.

Moms and dads that adopt this design have figured out how to foster:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Setting healthy limits

• Building a child’s fundamental character and morals

Encouraging children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they are afraid of punishment if they do not … Nevertheless, what occurs as soon as they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is over?

• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be listened to and also valued

• Assisting kids to establish self-control

• Going deeper than mere outward conformity and also concentrating on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started down the path of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and screaming. That’s just how I was treated as a child, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. 23 Month Old Behavior

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually worked as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.

Right here are a number of the strategies Amy reveals to help you to evolve into the mommy or dad you have actually always wished to be, and also assist your child to reach his or her highest potential.

Identify the root of the acting out

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s frequently simpler (and a lot more typical in today’s society) to assume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.

We can get a lot further towards addressing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs similar to you and also me. As well as frequently their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. 23 Month Old Behavior

A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-restraint) is not yet developed. That means they can go from joyful one moment to complete tantrum the next. So rather than dealing with a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Toddlers have little self-control to begin with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that means there is typically a primary feeling beneath it

• The majority of angry children are actually frightened and/or very sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any kind of basic needs that need to be met initially. For example, if a child is hungry or sleepy, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Focus on addressing that big need initially.

• Acknowledge his emotions without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re really angry due to the fact that I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s difficult since you truly want to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, so I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if needed.

• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a big hug and also say firmly “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into fists and growl. The point is to permit him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you previously that positive parenting works for all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and also everyone in between. So let’s talk about teens in our next example … 23 Month Old Behavior

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we desire to get from our child, we need to be eager to give. If I am rude, manipulative and sarcastic to my teen just due to the fact that I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you assume that reveals to my child?

It is much easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mother or daddy, you can set the example as well as show your teen that you value their viewpoint, and you respect them as an individual. 23 Month Old Behavior

This does not indicate you need to be a pushover. It does indicate you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will accomplish a lot more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.

In a comparable way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we desire our teen to treat us with more regard, the first step is to ensure that you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. 23 Month Old Behavior

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, as well as to the customer care rep on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be considering. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this question with a resounding “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …

Just recently, my two girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, as well as she claimed she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then came back as well as returned the stolen sticker, said sorry and asked for forgiveness.

They made up, hugged as well as started playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or intimidate anyone to fix the dispute. And also yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You recognize why? 23 Month Old Behavior

Due to the fact that we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, just how to resolve conflict, as well as even how to apologize. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will certainly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everyone around us with respect, and also model the actions we want, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some visitors could be wondering about my other half, Antonio, as well as his 2 teen boys from a previous marriage. With time, Antonio has started parenting positively also, as well as the repair of their relationship is nothing except a miracle.

Exactly how can you evolve to be a positive parent? 23 Month Old Behavior

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I have actually ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be hard to alter your old ways. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And also a year or more from now, you won’t think how much you have actually altered, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.

I recommend anybody who is serious about coming to be an extra positive mommy or father to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. 23 Month Old Behavior

You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media channels. Her materials have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely apply every day.

In her cost-free webinar, Amy shares just how to get kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, as well as find out how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the totally free class by clicking the button shown below. 23 Month Old Behavior


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