3 Year Old Cries All The Time – Just How I Chose Positive Parenting to Finally Get My Kids to Cooperate

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3 Year Old Cries All The Time
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mom, I understood that I wanted to do things differently than how I was parented. My mom and dad did the very best they could, however they really did not have accessibility to the variety of positive parenting tools offered today. 3 Year Old Cries All The Time

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf regarding dealing with power struggles, exactly how to deal with the stubborn child, and also how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m not sure what exactly they found out in those books, yet I experienced a great deal of spanking, a lot of shouting, as well as a lot of just plain tempers raging.

It was a hard period of time. And our connection is still strained today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to recognize that, while nobody is without fault, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to stop the cycle when I became a mama.3 Year Old Cries All The Time

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my answer 3 Year Old Cries All The Time

My very own experience with positive parenting started when my first daughter was born. I started checking out blog posts regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, screaming, extreme punishments as well as virtually every other commonly approved parenting strategy.

I began to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to get their needs met. I learned more about:

• Problem-solving

• Resolving power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How all of these concepts cause healthy child development 3 Year Old Cries All The Time

3 Year Old Cries All The Time

In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different viewpoint. He had two teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had witnessed firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” may appear to work for the moment. Yet long-term, it was just breeding disrespect, anger as well as resentment in what was intended to be a loving parent-child connection.

Given his background and also finding out precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining and also following through with positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting mean anyway? 3 Year Old Cries All The Time

Let me tell you what it doesn’t suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a passive parent

• Ignoring significant wrongdoing

• Offering your children every little thing they want 3 Year Old Cries All The Time

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no boundaries

You may see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach acknowledges the reality that cooperation always yields better lasting outcomes than harsh control.

Parents who embrace this design have actually learned to cultivate:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Setting healthy boundaries

• Building a child’s fundamental character traits

Assisting children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of punishment if they do not … Nevertheless, what takes place when they’re adults and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be listened to and valued

• Helping kids to develop self-restraint

• Going deeper than mere outward conformity as well as concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t visualize that there were various other ways to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and shouting. That’s just how I was raised, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. 3 Year Old Cries All The Time

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has worked as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.

Here are a couple of the methods Amy shares to help you to come to be the mother or dad you have actually always wished to be, and also help your child to reach his or her full potential.

Discover the root of the acting out

I told you this is deep stuff. It’s often widely accepted (as well as a lot more usual in today’s society) to think children are simply spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

However we can get a great deal further towards resolving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs similar to you and also me. As well as frequently their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and language development spectrum. 3 Year Old Cries All The Time

As an example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-discipline) is not yet formed. That suggests they can go from joyful one moment to major meltdown the next. Instead of fighting a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-control to begin with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that means there is always a main feeling underneath it

• The majority of mad children are actually scared and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that have to be met first. For instance, if a child is starving or exhausted, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Concentrate on addressing that huge need first.

• Acknowledge his emotions without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re really upset due to the fact that I said we could not play at the park today. I understand it’s hard since you genuinely wish to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, and also I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if necessary.

• Focusing too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and also say firmly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands right into clenched fists and growl. The point is to permit him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you previously that positive parenting benefits every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everything in between. So let’s use teens in our next scenario … 3 Year Old Cries All The Time

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we desire to obtain from our child, we need to be ready to provide. If I am discourteous, manipulative and sarcastic to my young adult just because I “have every right given that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?

It is much easier to offer respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mother or daddy, you can set the standard and communicate to your young adult that you value their opinion, and also you appreciate them as a person. 3 Year Old Cries All The Time

This does not imply you have to be a pushover. However it does mean you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will certainly accomplish more than you expect to set the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.

In a comparable way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our young adult to treat us with more respect, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. 3 Year Old Cries All The Time

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer service rep on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be considering. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could address this one with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …

Just a few days ago, my two young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, and she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, then came back and also returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced as well as started playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or intimidate any person to settle the problem. And yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You recognize why? 3 Year Old Cries All The Time

Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to fix conflict, and also even how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everybody around us with respect, and model the behavior we want, you would be amazed at what’s possible.

Some visitors might be wondering about my hubby, Antonio, as well as his two teen sons from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively also, and the restoration of their relationship is nothing short of a miracle.

How can you become a positive parent? 3 Year Old Cries All The Time

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I have actually ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be tough to transform your old way of life. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or more from now, you won’t think how much you’ve altered, in addition to the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I recommend anybody who is serious about becoming a much more positive mommy or dad to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. 3 Year Old Cries All The Time

You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media channels. Her products have been life-altering for greater than 75,000 parents around the world, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely use every day.

In her totally free class, Amy shares just how to get kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and discover how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the cost-free webinar by clicking the button below. 3 Year Old Cries All The Time


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