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When I first became a mom, I understood that I wished to do things in different ways than how I was parented. My mom and dad did the very best they could, however they really did not have access to the huge selection of positive parenting tools readily available today. 3 Year Old Has No Interest In Potty Training
There were a few books on our shelf about dealing with power struggles, exactly how to deal with the strong-willed child, and also just how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”
I’m not sure just what they found out in those books, however I grew up with a lot of spanking, a lot of yelling, and a lot of just plain tempers raging.
It was a challenging period of time. And also our connection is still strained today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for what happened. I’ve come to recognize that, while nobody is perfect, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I intended to stop the cycle when I came to be a mommy.3 Year Old Has No Interest In Potty Training
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my strategy 3 Year Old Has No Interest In Potty Training
My own experience with positive parenting started when my first daughter was born. I started reading blog posts regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, shouting, extreme punishments and virtually every other traditionally accepted parenting method.
I began to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I know there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable every person to get their needs fulfilled. I discovered:
• Solving power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how all of these ideas lead to healthy and balanced child development 3 Year Old Has No Interest In Potty Training
During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought a different point of view. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and had experienced firsthand how being the “mean father” might appear to work temporarily. But in the long run, it was only breeding disrespect, contempt and also resentment in what was expected to be a loving parent-child connection.
Considering his background as well as discovering specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching and applying positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? 3 Year Old Has No Interest In Potty Training
Let me inform you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a lazy parent
• Overlooking significant wrongdoing
• Giving your children whatever they ask for 3 Year Old Has No Interest In Potty Training
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no restrictions
You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting method acknowledges the truth that cooperation consistently generates far better long-lasting outcomes than strict control.
Parents who embrace this design have actually learned to foster:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Establishing healthy boundaries
• Building a child’s fundamental character and morals
• Helping children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of punishment if they do not … Besides, what takes place when they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is over?
• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be heard and also valued
• Encouraging kids to develop self-discipline
• Going much deeper than mere outward conformity and focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first began down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t envision that there were various other ways to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as shouting. That’s just how I was parented, and I just had no framework for anything different. 3 Year Old Has No Interest In Potty Training
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to countless moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.
Get to the root of the acting out
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s usually much easier (and also extra typical in today’s society) to presume children are just spoiled brats, which is why they act out.
Yet we can progress a great deal farther toward solving power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs just like you and also me. As well as most times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development spectrum. 3 Year Old Has No Interest In Potty Training
As an example, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-control) is not yet formed. That suggests they can go from delighted one moment to complete meltdown the next. So rather than dealing with a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-control to start with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that suggests there is typically a key feeling under it
• The majority of mad children are actually scared and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that should be met initially. For example, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Concentrate on meeting that huge need first.
• Acknowledge his emotions without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re sincerely mad since I said we could not go to the park today. I understand it’s difficult since you really want to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, and also I will not allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if required.
• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands into fists and also growl. The point is to enable him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting works for every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and everything in between. So let’s talk about teenagers in our next scenario … 3 Year Old Has No Interest In Potty Training
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we want to obtain from our child, we have to be ready to provide. If I am rude, controlling and sarcastic to my teen merely because I “have every right given that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you assume that communicates to my child?
It is a lot easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mom or daddy, you can set the standard and also communicate to your young adult that you value their viewpoint, and also you appreciate them as a person. 3 Year Old Has No Interest In Potty Training
This does not indicate you have to be a pushover. Yet it does mean you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will accomplish more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we want our young adult to treat us with even more regard, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. 3 Year Old Has No Interest In Potty Training
Are you gentle to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer care representative on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can address this question with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share an individual recollection …
Just the other day, my two girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, and also she stated she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, then came back and also returned the stolen sticker, apologized as well as requested forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and begun playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate any individual to fix the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You recognize why? 3 Year Old Has No Interest In Potty Training
Because we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, exactly how to fix disputes, as well as even exactly how to apologize. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everybody around us with respect, and also model the behavior we want, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some visitors might be curious about my husband, Antonio, and his two teenage boys from a previous relationship. In time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively too, and the repair of their relationship is nothing short of miraculous.
So exactly how can you evolve to be a positive parent? 3 Year Old Has No Interest In Potty Training
This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is among the most fulfilling things I have actually ever before done. I won’t lie to you – it can be hard to transform your old ways. Little by little, you will make improvements. And a year or two from now, you won’t believe how much you have actually transformed, together with the closer connection you have with your kids.
I suggest any individual who is serious about growing to be a much more positive mommy or dad to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. 3 Year Old Has No Interest In Potty Training
You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media networks. Her products have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely apply every day.
In her free class, Amy shares just how to help kids of every age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and learn how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the free class by clicking the button below. 3 Year Old Has No Interest In Potty Training
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