3 Year Old Screaming For No Reason – Exactly How I Applied Positive Parenting to Ultimately Get My Kids to Behave

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3 Year Old Screaming For No Reason
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first came to be a mom, I knew that I wished to do things differently than how I was parented. My mom and dad did the very best they could, but they really did not have accessibility to the myriad of positive parenting tools readily available today. 3 Year Old Screaming For No Reason

There were a few books on our shelf regarding taking care of power struggles, exactly how to control the stubborn child, and also just how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m not exactly sure just what they learned in those books, but I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of yelling, as well as a lot of just plain losing control.

It was a hard period of time. And our connection is still strained today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve come to understand that, while no person is perfect, it is our duty to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to stop the cycle when I became a mom.3 Year Old Screaming For No Reason

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach 3 Year Old Screaming For No Reason

My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest child was born. I began reading blog posts concerning just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, yelling, extreme punishments as well as virtually every other typically approved parenting technique.

I started to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable every person to get their needs met. I discovered:

• Problem-solving

• Managing power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how every one of these principles bring about healthy child development 3 Year Old Screaming For No Reason

3 Year Old Screaming For No Reason

During my learning experience, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different perspective. He had two teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually observed firsthand just how being the “mean dad” may seem to benefit temporarily. However long-term, it was only promoting disrespect, contempt and resentment in what was meant to be a caring parent-child relationship.

Given his background and also finding out precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching and following through with positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting mean anyway? 3 Year Old Screaming For No Reason

First, let me tell you what it does not mean. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a passive parent

• Ignoring significant misbehavior

• Offering your children whatever they want 3 Year Old Screaming For No Reason

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will be expected of them in “the real world”

• Having no limitations

You may see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique identifies the reality that collaboration consistently produces far better long-lasting results than strict control.

Moms and dads who adopt this design have actually figured out how to cultivate:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Establishing healthy boundaries

• Building a child’s foundational character and morals

Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not since they fear retribution if they don’t … Besides, what occurs when they’re adults and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be listened to and also valued

• Assisting kids to establish self-control

• Going deeper than plain exterior compliance and also concentrating on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially started down the road of gentle parenting, I could not envision that there were various other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as shouting. That’s just how I was raised, and I obviously had no framework for anything different. 3 Year Old Screaming For No Reason

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.

Here are a couple of the techniques Amy reveals to help you to evolve into the mommy or daddy you have actually always wanted to be, as well as help your child to reach his/her highest potential.

Find the root of the misbehavior

I mentioned this is deep. It’s often widely accepted (and a lot more usual in today’s world) to think children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

We can progress a lot farther toward addressing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs much like you and me. As well as many times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. 3 Year Old Screaming For No Reason

For example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-control) is not yet formed. That implies they can go from cloud nine one moment to major meltdown the next. Rather than dealing with a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Toddlers have little self-control to begin with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that implies there is always a main emotion underneath it

• Many angry children are really scared and/or very sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that have to be addressed first. For example, if a child is hungry or sleepy, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Concentrate on meeting that big need initially.

• Acknowledge his emotions without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re really angry due to the fact that I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s tough since you really really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if needed.

• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a large hug and say “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into clenched fists and growl. The intent is to allow him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting benefits all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and everything in between. So let’s talk about teens in our following scenario … 3 Year Old Screaming For No Reason

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we want to obtain from our child, we should be prepared to provide. If I am impolite, manipulative as well as sarcastic to my young adult merely since I “have every right given that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you assume that communicates to my child?

It is much easier to offer respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mama or daddy, you can set the standard as well as show your young adult that you value their opinion, and also you respect them as an individual. 3 Year Old Screaming For No Reason

This does not imply you have to be a pushover. Yet it does indicate you can be kind when faced with conflict. It will accomplish more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we want our teen to treat us with more regard, the first step is to ensure that you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. 3 Year Old Screaming For No Reason

Are you gentle to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer support representative on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be considering. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can address this one with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share an individual story …

Just the other day, my 2 young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, as well as she said she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, after that came back and also returned the swiped sticker, apologized and asked for forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and started playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or intimidate anybody to fix the conflict. And also yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You know why? 3 Year Old Screaming For No Reason

Since we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, exactly how to resolve disputes, as well as even just how to apologize. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everyone around us with respect, and model the actions we desire, you would certainly be amazed at what’s possible.

Some visitors could be wondering about my husband, Antonio, and his 2 teen boys from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has begun parenting positively too, and also the restoration of their relationship is nothing except a miracle.

So exactly how can you become a positive parent? 3 Year Old Screaming For No Reason

This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I’ve ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to transform your old way of life. Little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or 2 from now, you won’t believe just how much you’ve changed, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.

I advise anyone that is serious about becoming a more positive mommy or father to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. 3 Year Old Screaming For No Reason

You have actually probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any number of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.

In her totally free class, Amy shares exactly how to help kids of any age to listen WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and find out how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the free class by clicking the button shown below. 3 Year Old Screaming For No Reason


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