Active Parenting Definition – Just How I Applied Positive Parenting to Once And For All Get My Kids to Cooperate

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Active Parenting Definition
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mom, I knew that I intended to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the best job they could, however they didn’t have access to the myriad of positive parenting tools available today. Active Parenting Definition

There were a couple of books on our shelf about handling power struggles, just how to discipline the stubborn child, as well as just how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My parents don’t understand me.”

I’m not sure exactly what they found out in those books, but I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a lot of screaming, and a great deal of just plain tempers raging.

It was a hard period of time. And also our relationship is still not the best today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for what happened. I have actually begun to recognize that, while no person is perfect, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to stop the cycle when I became a mama.Active Parenting Definition

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my solution Active Parenting Definition

My own experience with positive parenting started when my first daughter was born. I began reading blogs about how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, shouting, severe punishments as well as virtually every other commonly accepted parenting strategy.

I started to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I know there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable everybody to get their needs satisfied. I learned about:

• Problem-solving

• Dealing with power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How every one of these ideas result in healthy child development Active Parenting Definition

Active Parenting Definition

Along the way, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique viewpoint. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship, and had actually observed firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” could seem to help temporarily. In the long run, it was just breeding disrespect, anger as well as resentment in what was meant to be a loving parent-child partnership.

Given his background as well as discovering exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining and implementing positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting mean anyhow? Active Parenting Definition

Let me tell you what it does not mean. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a passive parent

• Disregarding significant wrongdoing

• Offering your children every little thing they ask for Active Parenting Definition

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no restrictions

You might hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique acknowledges the truth that cooperation consistently produces much better long-lasting results than strict control.

Parents who embrace this design have actually learned to cultivate:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Establishing healthy and balanced boundaries

• Developing a child’s foundational character qualities

Assisting children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they are afraid of punishment if they do not … After all, what takes place as soon as they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is over?

• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be heard as well as valued

• Encouraging kids to establish self-control

• Going deeper than mere exterior compliance and concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially began down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t believe that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and yelling. That’s just how I was raised, and I simply had no framework for anything different. Active Parenting Definition

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has functioned as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online course.

Right here are a couple of the methods Amy teaches to help you to evolve into the mother or dad you have actually always wished to be, and also help your child to reach his/her highest potential.

Identify the root of the misbehavior

I told you this is deep stuff. It’s frequently much easier (and extra usual in today’s world) to presume children are simply spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.

We can progress a lot more toward addressing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs just like you and me. And also most times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. Active Parenting Definition

For instance, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-restraint) is not yet formed. That implies they can go from delighted one minute to major meltdown the next. So as opposed to battling a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-discipline to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that suggests there is always a key emotion under it

• Many upset children are in fact scared and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any basic needs that need to be met initially. For instance, if a child is starving or sleepy, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Concentrate on meeting that large need first.

• Acknowledge his emotions without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re really angry due to the fact that I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I know it’s tough due to the fact that you genuinely wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I will not allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to safeguard yourself if required.

• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a large hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands into fists and also growl. The objective is to allow him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you previously that positive parenting helps any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens as well as everything in between. So let’s think about teenagers in our following scenario … Active Parenting Definition

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we want to get from our child, we should be ready to give. If I am impolite, manipulative and also sarcastic to my teen merely since I “have every right because I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you assume that teaches my child?

It is much easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mommy or dad, you can set the standard as well as communicate to your teenager that you value their viewpoint, and you value them as a person. Active Parenting Definition

This does not imply you have to be a pushover. However it does suggest you can be kind when faced with conflict. It will certainly accomplish more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.

In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we want our teen to treat us with more respect, the first step is to see to it that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. Active Parenting Definition

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer care representative on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be considering. Bear in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this question with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share an individual recollection …

Just the other day, my 2 young girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back as well as returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and also requested forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and also started playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or threaten anyone to fix the dispute. And also yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You recognize why? Active Parenting Definition

Since we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, exactly how to settle conflict, and also even how to say sorry. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everybody around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we desire, you would certainly be amazed at what’s possible.

Some readers could be curious about my partner, Antonio, and also his 2 teen boys from a previous relationship. In time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively too, and also the repair of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.

Just how can you come to be a positive parent? Active Parenting Definition

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I have actually ever before done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to transform your old way of life. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And also a year or 2 from now, you won’t believe just how much you have actually altered, in addition to the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I recommend any person who is serious about becoming a more positive mother or daddy to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Active Parenting Definition

You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media networks. Her products have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents around the world, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can genuinely use every day.

In her cost-free webinar, Amy shares how to get kids of every age to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, and discover how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the cost-free class by clicking the button below. Active Parenting Definition


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