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When I initially became a mom, I knew that I wished to do things in different ways than how I was raised. My mother and father did the very best they could, yet they really did not have accessibility to the myriad of positive parenting tools offered today. Amy McCready Review
There were a few books on our bookshelf about managing power struggles, exactly how to control the stubborn child, and also just how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”
I’m not sure just what they learned in those books, but I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a great deal of screaming, and also a lot of just plain losing control.
It was a hard period of time. And also our relationship is still not the best today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually come to recognize that, while nobody is without fault, it is our duty to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wanted to break the cycle when I became a mom.Amy McCready Review
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my strategy Amy McCready Review
My own experience with positive parenting started when my first little girl was born. I started reading blog posts concerning just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, shouting, extreme punishments and pretty much every other generally approved parenting method.
I started to believe, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I know there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to get their needs fulfilled. I discovered:
• Managing power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How all of these concepts bring about healthy and balanced child development Amy McCready Review
Along the way, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique viewpoint. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and had seen firsthand just how being the “mean father” could appear to help temporarily. In the long run, it was just promoting disrespect, anger and resentment in what was expected to be a loving parent-child connection.
Considering his background and finding out precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining and also implementing positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting mean anyhow? Amy McCready Review
Let me tell you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Ignoring significant wrongdoing
• Giving your children whatever they ask for Amy McCready Review
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no boundaries
You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the fact that collaboration always generates better long-term outcomes than forced control.
Parents who adopt this design have learned to cultivate:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Setting healthy limits
• Developing a child’s fundamental character and morals
• Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they fear retribution if they don’t … Nevertheless, what occurs once they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is removed?
• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be listened to and also valued
• Helping kids to develop self-control
• Going deeper than mere exterior compliance and also focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began down the path of gentle parenting, I could not visualize that there were various other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as yelling. That’s exactly how I was treated as a child, and therefore I obviously had no framework for anything different. Amy McCready Review
I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert as well as founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.
Get to the root of the acting out
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s frequently widely accepted (and also extra usual in today’s world) to assume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
We can get a great deal further towards solving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs similar to you and me. And many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. Amy McCready Review
A toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that makes it possible for self-control) is not yet developed. That implies they can go from joyful one minute to major tantrum the next. Rather than battling a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-discipline to start with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that means there is always a primary emotion under it
• A lot of mad children are actually anxious and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any basic needs that need to be addressed initially. For instance, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Focus on addressing that huge need initially.
• Empathize with his emotions without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely mad because I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I recognize it’s hard because you really want to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, so I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if needed.
• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the circumstance worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a large hug and also say “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into fists and growl. The goal is to permit him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Bear In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting helps any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and everything in between. So let’s use young adults in our next scenario … Amy McCready Review
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we want to obtain from our child, we should be prepared to give. If I am impolite, controlling and sarcastic to my teen just because I “have every right since I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you believe that reveals to my child?
It is a lot easier to offer respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mama or daddy, you can set the example and communicate to your young adult that you value their viewpoint, as well as you appreciate them as an individual. Amy McCready Review
This doesn’t suggest you have to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we want our young adult to treat us with even more respect, the initial step is to see to it that you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Amy McCready Review
Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer service representative on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be thinking about. Bear in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …
Just a few days ago, my 2 young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, as well as she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned and also returned the swiped sticker label, apologized and asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and also started playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or intimidate anyone to resolve the problem. And yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You know why? Amy McCready Review
Due to the fact that we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, exactly how to resolve conflict, and even just how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everyone around us with respect, and model the actions we want, you would certainly be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some visitors could be wondering about my spouse, Antonio, as well as his two adolescent boys from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively as well, and also the repair of their connection is nothing except a miracle.
So how can you become a positive parent? Amy McCready Review
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I have actually ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be hard to alter your old parenting style. But little by little, you will make improvements. And also a year or 2 from now, you will not think just how much you’ve changed, in addition to the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I recommend any person that is serious about coming to be a more positive mother or daddy to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Amy McCready Review
You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media networks. Her materials have been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents across the globe, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can really use every day.
In her complimentary class, Amy shares how to help kids of any age to listen WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, as well as discover how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the totally free webinar by clicking the button shown below. Amy McCready Review
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