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When I initially came to be a mommy, I understood that I intended to do things in different ways than how I was raised. My mother and father did the very best they could, but they really did not have accessibility to the wide variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. Amy McCready Webinar
There were a few books on our bookshelf regarding dealing with power struggles, how to control the strong-willed child, as well as exactly how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I definitely recall thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”
I’m not exactly sure what exactly they learned in those books, but I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of screaming, and also a lot of just plain losing control.
It was a hard period of time. And our relationship is still strained today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for what happened. I’ve begun to understand that, while no one is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wished to break the cycle when I became a mommy.Amy McCready Webinar
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach Amy McCready Webinar
My own experience with positive parenting began when my first child was born. I started checking out blog posts regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, yelling, harsh punishments and also virtually every other traditionally approved parenting strategy.
I began to believe, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I understand there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to get their needs met. I learned more about:
• Resolving power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how every one of these ideas lead to healthy child development Amy McCready Webinar
In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. But he brought a different perspective. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and had experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” could appear to work temporarily. Long-term, it was just promoting disrespect, anger and also bitterness in what was expected to be a caring parent-child partnership.
Considering his history and also finding out exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying as well as employing positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting mean anyway? Amy McCready Webinar
First, let me inform you what it does not indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a lazy parent
• Disregarding major wrongdoing
• Offering your children everything they ask for Amy McCready Webinar
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will be required of them in “the real world”
• Having no limits
You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique identifies the reality that collaboration always yields far better long-term outcomes than harsh control.
Moms and dads who adopt this design have figured out how to promote:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Setting healthy and balanced limits
• Developing a child’s foundational character qualities
• Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they are afraid of retribution if they do not … Besides, what happens as soon as they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is removed?
• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be heard and also valued
• Assisting kids to grow their self-restraint
• Going deeper than plain external compliance as well as concentrating on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially started down the road of gentle parenting, I could not envision that there were various other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and also yelling. That’s just how I was treated as a child, and therefore I obviously had no understanding about anything different. Amy McCready Webinar
I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.
Identify the root of the misbehavior
I mentioned this is deep. It’s frequently much easier (as well as extra common in today’s world) to think children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
We can progress a lot farther toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs similar to you and me. And also many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. Amy McCready Webinar
For example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-discipline) is not yet matured. That suggests they can go from cloud nine one minute to complete tantrum the next. Instead of battling a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-discipline to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is typically a main emotion under it
• A lot of angry children are in fact scared and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that need to be met first. For instance, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Concentrate on addressing that huge need initially.
• Acknowledge his feelings without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely angry because I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I understand it’s difficult since you truly want to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, and also I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if necessary.
• Focusing too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a big hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands into fists and growl. The goal is to allow him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I told you earlier that positive parenting helps all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and also everything in between. So let’s talk about teens in our following example … Amy McCready Webinar
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we want to obtain from our child, we should be willing to give before anyone else. If I am disrespectful, manipulative and also sarcastic to my teen simply because I “have every right because I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you believe that communicates to my child?
It is much easier to offer respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mother or daddy, you can set the standard and also show your teenager that you value their viewpoint, and also you appreciate them as an individual. Amy McCready Webinar
This doesn’t mean you need to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish a lot more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we desire our teenager to treat us with more respect, the primary step is to see to it that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Amy McCready Webinar
Are you gentle to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and also to the customer support associate on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be considering. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can address this one with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share an individual recollection …
Just recently, my 2 young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, and she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then came back and also returned the swiped sticker label, said sorry and also asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and started playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or intimidate anyone to resolve the problem. As well as yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You recognize why? Amy McCready Webinar
Because we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to solve disputes, and even how to apologize. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everybody around us with respect, and model the habits we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s possible.
Some visitors might be curious about my hubby, Antonio, and also his two adolescent boys from a previous relationship. In time, Antonio has begun parenting positively as well, and also the restoration of their relationship is nothing short of a miracle.
So exactly how can you become a positive parent? Amy McCready Webinar
This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I have actually ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to alter your old way of life. But little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or more from now, you won’t believe just how much you’ve altered, in addition to the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I recommend anyone that is serious about becoming a more positive mama or father to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Amy McCready Webinar
You have actually probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any number of media channels. Her products have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.
In her complimentary webinar, Amy shares just how to get kids of every age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and also find out how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the free class by clicking the button shown below. Amy McCready Webinar
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