Anderson Cooper Picky Eater – How I Used Positive Parenting to Finally Get My Kids to Cooperate

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Anderson Cooper Picky Eater
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mommy, I recognized that I wished to do things differently than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the best they could, but they didn’t have accessibility to the myriad of positive parenting tools readily available today. Anderson Cooper Picky Eater

There were a few books on our shelf concerning taking care of power struggles, how to control the strong-willed child, as well as exactly how to get your kids to obey. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My mom and dad don’t understand me.”

I’m uncertain what exactly they found out in those books, but I grew up with a lot of spanking, a lot of yelling, and a great deal of just plain losing control.

It was a challenging number of years. And our connection is still strained today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to realize that, while no person is without fault, it is our responsibility to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to stop the cycle when I became a mama.Anderson Cooper Picky Eater

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer Anderson Cooper Picky Eater

My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I began reading blogs regarding just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, yelling, severe punishments and also pretty much every other typically accepted parenting strategy.

I started to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I know there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to have their needs met. I learned about:

• Problem-solving

• Handling power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How every one of these concepts lead to healthy and balanced child development Anderson Cooper Picky Eater

Anderson Cooper Picky Eater

During my learning experience, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different point of view. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship, and also had experienced firsthand how being the “mean dad” might seem to work for the moment. But in the long run, it was only breeding disrespect, contempt and bitterness in what was meant to be a loving parent-child relationship.

Given his history and also finding out exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining and also following through with positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting mean anyway? Anderson Cooper Picky Eater

Initially, let me tell you what it does not indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Disregarding significant wrongdoing

• Providing your children every little thing they ask for Anderson Cooper Picky Eater

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will be expected of them in “real life”

• Having no limits

You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting method acknowledges the fact that cooperation always yields far better long-lasting outcomes than strict control.

Parents that adopt this concept have actually learned to cultivate:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Establishing healthy limits

• Building a child’s fundamental character traits

Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of punishment if they do not … After all, what occurs when they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be heard as well as valued

• Helping kids to develop self-control

• Going deeper than plain exterior conformity and focusing on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially began down the road of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were various other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also yelling. That’s how I was raised, and therefore I obviously had no framework for anything different. Anderson Cooper Picky Eater

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has worked as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online course.

Right here are a couple of the methods Amy shares to help you to become the mother or daddy you’ve always intended to be, and help your child to reach his/her complete potential.

Discover the root of the acting out

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s usually much easier (and extra common in today’s society) to think children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.

We can progress a great deal more toward solving power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs just like you as well as me. And also most times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. Anderson Cooper Picky Eater

A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that enables self-control) is not yet formed. That means they can go from joyful one moment to complete tantrum the next. Instead of battling a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Toddlers have little self-restraint to begin with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that implies there is always a primary feeling beneath it

• Most angry children are actually frightened and/or sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that have to be addressed initially. For example, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Concentrate on meeting that huge need first.

• Validate his emotions without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely upset because I said we could not go to the park today. I recognize it’s difficult due to the fact that you really really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if needed.

• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and also say loudly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and also growl. The intent is to allow him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you previously that positive parenting helps all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everything in between. So let’s talk about teens in our following scenario … Anderson Cooper Picky Eater

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we desire to obtain from our child, we should be ready to provide. If I am discourteous, controlling and sarcastic to my young adult merely due to the fact that I “have every right since I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?

It is much easier to provide respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mother or dad, you can set the standard and also show your teenager that you value their viewpoint, as well as you respect them as an individual. Anderson Cooper Picky Eater

This doesn’t imply you need to be a pushover. However it does suggest you can be kind despite problems. It will accomplish more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we desire our teen to treat us with more respect, the first step is to see to it that you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. Anderson Cooper Picky Eater

Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer care representative on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking of. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this question with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …

Just the other day, my two young girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, and also she said she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back and also returned the swiped sticker label, apologized and also requested forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and also started playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate any person to resolve the dispute. And also yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You recognize why? Anderson Cooper Picky Eater

Since we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, exactly how to resolve disputes, and even how to apologize. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everybody around us with respect, and also model the habits we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some readers may be curious about my spouse, Antonio, and also his 2 teen boys from a previous relationship. In time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively as well, and also the repair of their relationship is nothing short of miraculous.

So how can you come to be a positive parent? Anderson Cooper Picky Eater

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be challenging to transform your old ways. However bit by bit, you will certainly make improvements. And also a year or two from now, you will not believe how much you’ve changed, together with the closer connection you have with your kids.

I advise any person who is serious about coming to be a more positive mama or dad to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Anderson Cooper Picky Eater

You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media networks. Her products have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, as well as there’s no better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.

In her free class, Amy shares how to help kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, and discover how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the complimentary class by clicking the button below. Anderson Cooper Picky Eater


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