Baby Pees On The Floor – How I Chose Positive Parenting to Ultimately Get My Kids to Listen

Please note: This post contains affiliate links.

Baby Pees On The Floor
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first became a mother, I knew that I wished to do things in a different way than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the best job they could, however they didn’t have access to the variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. Baby Pees On The Floor

There were a couple of books on our shelf regarding managing power struggles, how to deal with the stubborn child, as well as just how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably recall thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad don’t understand me.”

I’m not sure just what they found out in those books, however I experienced a great deal of spanking, a great deal of screaming, and a lot of just plain tempers raging.

It was a difficult number of years. And also our connection is still not the best today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve come to recognize that, while no one is perfect, it is our responsibility to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I intended to stop the cycle when I came to be a mother.Baby Pees On The Floor

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my solution Baby Pees On The Floor

My very own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest little girl was born. I started checking out blog posts about exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, shouting, harsh punishments as well as virtually every other commonly accepted parenting technique.

I began to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I realize there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable every person to have their needs met. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Dealing with power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How all of these concepts cause healthy and balanced child development Baby Pees On The Floor

Baby Pees On The Floor

During my learning experience, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different viewpoint. He had two teenage boys from a previous relationship, and also had actually witnessed firsthand just how being the “mean father” might appear to benefit temporarily. But in the long run, it was just promoting disrespect, contempt and also bitterness in what was intended to be a caring parent-child partnership.

Given his background and finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying and also following through with positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Baby Pees On The Floor

Let me inform you what it doesn’t imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a passive parent

• Disregarding major misbehavior

• Providing your children every little thing they ask for Baby Pees On The Floor

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will be expected of them in “the real world”

• Having no limits

You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique acknowledges the truth that collaboration consistently yields better long-term outcomes than strict control.

Moms and dads who adopt this concept have figured out how to foster:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Establishing healthy limits

• Building a child’s foundational character qualities

Assisting children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they fear punishment if they don’t … Nevertheless, what occurs when they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is eliminated?

• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be heard as well as valued

• Helping kids to grow their self-control

• Going much deeper than simple outward conformity as well as focusing on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially began down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t imagine that there were various other ways to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and also screaming. That’s exactly how I was parented, and therefore I just had no understanding about anything different. Baby Pees On The Floor

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert as well as creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually worked as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.

Here are a number of the techniques Amy teaches to assist you to evolve into the mama or father you’ve always wished to be, as well as assist your child to reach his/her complete potential.

Identify the root of the acting out

I told you this is deep. It’s commonly widely accepted (as well as much more common in today’s world) to assume children are just spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

We can progress a whole lot further toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs similar to you and me. And frequently their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. Baby Pees On The Floor

A toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that enables self-control) is not yet formed. That suggests they can go from happy one moment to complete tantrum the next. So instead of dealing with a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Toddlers have little self-discipline to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is always a main emotion underneath it

• Many angry children are really scared and/or sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that need to be addressed initially. As an example, if a child is starving or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Concentrate on addressing that large need first.

• Validate his emotions without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re really mad since I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I understand it’s hard since you truly really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to safeguard yourself if required.

• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a huge hug and say loudly “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into fists and growl. The point is to permit him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you earlier that positive parenting works for any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and everyone in between. So let’s think about teens in our following example … Baby Pees On The Floor

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we desire to receive from our child, we should be ready to provide. If I am discourteous, manipulative and also sarcastic to my teenager just due to the fact that I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?

It is a lot easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mom or father, you can set the standard and also show your teen that you value their point of view, and you appreciate them as a person. Baby Pees On The Floor

This does not indicate you need to be a pushover. However it does mean you can be kind when faced with conflict. It will certainly accomplish more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.

In a similar way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our teenager to treat us with even more regard, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Baby Pees On The Floor

Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and also to the customer service associate on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking about. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …

Just recently, my 2 daughters were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, as well as she said she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, then came back and also returned the swiped sticker, said sorry and asked for forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and also begun playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate any individual to resolve the dispute. And also yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You know why? Baby Pees On The Floor

Since we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to resolve conflict, as well as even just how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat every person around us with respect, as well as model the habits we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s possible.

Some visitors could be curious about my husband, Antonio, and also his two teen boys from a previous marriage. With time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively as well, as well as the repair of their connection is nothing except miraculous.

Exactly how can you come to be a positive parent? Baby Pees On The Floor

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I have actually ever done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be hard to change your old way of life. Yet bit by bit, you will make improvements. As well as a year or 2 from now, you will not believe just how much you’ve altered, together with the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I recommend anybody who is serious about growing to be an extra positive mama or dad to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Baby Pees On The Floor

You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-altering for more than 75,000 parents around the world, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly apply every day.

In her complimentary class, Amy shares how to get kids of every age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll assist you in starting parenting positive, as well as find out how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the free webinar by clicking the button shown below. Baby Pees On The Floor


Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.

error: Content is protected !!