Baby Wakes Up Every Time I Lay Her Down – Just How I Chose Positive Parenting to Finally Get My Kids to Listen

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Baby Wakes Up Every Time I Lay Her Down
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially became a mom, I knew that I intended to do things in a different way than how I was parented. My mother and father did the best job they could, yet they didn’t have accessibility to the myriad of positive parenting tools available today. Baby Wakes Up Every Time I Lay Her Down

There were a few books on our shelf regarding managing power struggles, just how to deal with the stubborn child, and also how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I definitely remember thinking at the time, “My mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m not exactly sure exactly what they found out in those books, yet I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a great deal of shouting, and a great deal of just plain losing control.

It was a difficult number of years. And our relationship is still strained today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually come to recognize that, while nobody is perfect, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to stop the cycle when I became a mommy.Baby Wakes Up Every Time I Lay Her Down

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my answer Baby Wakes Up Every Time I Lay Her Down

My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I began reviewing material regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, yelling, severe punishments as well as basically every other generally approved parenting method.

I started to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I know there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable every person to have their needs fulfilled. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Dealing with power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How all of these concepts result in healthy child development Baby Wakes Up Every Time I Lay Her Down

Baby Wakes Up Every Time I Lay Her Down

Along the way, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique viewpoint. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had witnessed firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” could seem to benefit for the moment. However long-term, it was just promoting disrespect, anger and bitterness in what was supposed to be a caring parent-child relationship.

Given his history and discovering specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining as well as implementing positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting mean anyhow? Baby Wakes Up Every Time I Lay Her Down

Let me tell you what it doesn’t imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want

• Being a passive parent

• Ignoring major wrongdoing

• Giving your children every little thing they want Baby Wakes Up Every Time I Lay Her Down

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no limits

You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique identifies the truth that cooperation always yields better lasting outcomes than forced control.

Parents who adopt this design have actually figured out how to promote:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Setting healthy boundaries

• Building a child’s fundamental character and morals

Assisting children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of punishment if they don’t … Nevertheless, what occurs once they’re adults and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be heard and also valued

• Assisting kids to develop self-restraint

• Going much deeper than mere external conformity and concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially began down the path of gentle parenting, I could not envision that there were various other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and shouting. That’s just how I was parented, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. Baby Wakes Up Every Time I Lay Her Down

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert as well as founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has worked as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.

Below are a couple of the methods Amy reveals to encourage you to evolve into the mom or daddy you have actually always wanted to be, as well as help your child to reach his/her full potential.

Get to the root of the misbehavior

I told you this is deep stuff. It’s frequently much easier (and more typical in today’s society) to assume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

We can get a great deal more towards addressing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs just like you and me. As well as many times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain and language development spectrum. Baby Wakes Up Every Time I Lay Her Down

A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-control) is not yet developed. That implies they can go from delighted one moment to complete meltdown the next. So as opposed to dealing with a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-control to begin with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is typically a main feeling beneath it

• A lot of upset children are actually anxious and/or sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that must be addressed first. For instance, if a child is hungry or exhausted, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Concentrate on meeting that large need first.

• Acknowledge his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re really angry since I said we could not play at the park today. I know it’s difficult due to the fact that you truly really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if required.

• Concentrating more on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a big hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands into fists and also growl. The intent is to enable him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you earlier that positive parenting works for every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and everything in between. So let’s think about young adults in our following scenario … Baby Wakes Up Every Time I Lay Her Down

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we intend to get from our child, we need to want to provide first. If I am discourteous, controlling as well as sarcastic to my young adult simply since I “have every right since I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you assume that teaches my child?

It is much easier to offer respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mommy or father, you can set the example and show your teen that you value their point of view, and also you value them as an individual. Baby Wakes Up Every Time I Lay Her Down

This doesn’t mean you have to be a pushover. But it does suggest you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will certainly accomplish more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our young adult to treat us with more respect, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Baby Wakes Up Every Time I Lay Her Down

Are you kind to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer care rep on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be considering. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could address this with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share an individual story …

Just a few days ago, my 2 girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, and also she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned and also returned the swiped sticker label, apologized as well as requested forgiveness.

They made up, hugged as well as started playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or threaten anybody to fix the dispute. As well as yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You know why? Baby Wakes Up Every Time I Lay Her Down

Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, just how to solve disputes, and also even just how to apologize. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everybody around us with respect, and also model the behavior we desire, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.

Some visitors may be wondering about my spouse, Antonio, as well as his 2 teen sons from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively also, as well as the repair of their connection is nothing short of miraculous.

Just how can you become a positive parent? Baby Wakes Up Every Time I Lay Her Down

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to transform your old ways. However gradually, you will make improvements. And a year or more from now, you will not believe how much you have actually transformed, along with the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I recommend any person who is serious about coming to be a much more positive mom or daddy to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Baby Wakes Up Every Time I Lay Her Down

You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media networks. Her products have been life-changing for more than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.

In her cost-free class, Amy shares just how to get kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, as well as discover how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the free class by clicking the button below. Baby Wakes Up Every Time I Lay Her Down


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