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When I first came to be a mommy, I understood that I wished to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the best they could, however they didn’t have accessibility to the myriad of positive parenting tools available today. Best Christian Parenting Books For Toddlers
There were a couple of books on our shelf concerning dealing with power struggles, how to deal with the stubborn child, as well as how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”
I’m uncertain what exactly they discovered in those books, however I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a great deal of yelling, and also a lot of just plain losing control.
It was a tough period of time. And also our connection is still not the best today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to realize that, while nobody is perfect, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I intended to break the cycle when I became a mom.Best Christian Parenting Books For Toddlers
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my strategy Best Christian Parenting Books For Toddlers
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest child was born. I began checking out articles about exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, yelling, severe punishments and virtually every other traditionally accepted parenting technique.
I began to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable every person to get their needs fulfilled. I discovered:
• Managing power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How all of these concepts bring about healthy and balanced child development Best Christian Parenting Books For Toddlers
Along the way, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique point of view. He had two teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually witnessed firsthand just how being the “mean father” may seem to help for the moment. But in the long run, it was only breeding disrespect, contempt and resentment in what was supposed to be a caring parent-child partnership.
Given his history and also discovering precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining and also following through with positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting really mean anyway? Best Christian Parenting Books For Toddlers
Let me tell you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a lazy parent
• Ignoring major wrongdoing
• Offering your children everything they want Best Christian Parenting Books For Toddlers
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”
• Having no limits
You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method acknowledges the fact that cooperation consistently generates much better long-lasting outcomes than strict control.
Parents that adopt this concept have learned to foster:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced limits
• Developing a child’s foundational character qualities
• Assisting children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they are afraid of punishment if they do not … After all, what happens when they’re adults and the threat of punishment is removed?
• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be listened to and valued
• Helping kids to grow their self-restraint
• Going deeper than mere external conformity and concentrating on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially started on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not visualize that there were various other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and yelling. That’s how I was raised, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. Best Christian Parenting Books For Toddlers
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has worked as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.
Discover the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep. It’s commonly much easier (and also much more typical in today’s society) to think children are just spoiled brats, which is why they act out.
We can progress a whole lot more towards solving power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs much like you as well as me. And frequently their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. Best Christian Parenting Books For Toddlers
A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-discipline) is not yet matured. That means they can go from cloud nine one moment to complete meltdown the next. So instead of fighting a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Young children have little self-discipline to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that means there is typically a primary emotion below it
• Most angry children are really scared and/or sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that must be addressed initially. For example, if a child is starving or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Focus on meeting that large need first.
• Validate his feelings without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re really mad because I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I know it’s hard due to the fact that you truly wish to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, and also I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if necessary.
• Focusing too much on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the circumstance worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a huge hug and say firmly “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands into clenched fists and also growl. The goal is to permit him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting benefits any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and everyone in between. So let’s use teens in our next scenario … Best Christian Parenting Books For Toddlers
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we want to receive from our child, we have to be willing to give. If I am rude, manipulative as well as sarcastic to my teen simply since I “have every right given that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?
It is much easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mother or daddy, you can set the example and show your teenager that you value their point of view, as well as you respect them as an individual. Best Christian Parenting Books For Toddlers
This doesn’t imply you have to be a pushover. Yet it does imply you can be kind despite disputes. It will accomplish more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a similar way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we desire our teenager to treat us with even more respect, the initial step is to make certain that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. Best Christian Parenting Books For Toddlers
Are you kind to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer care representative on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking of. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …
Just a few days ago, my two young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, as well as she stated she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back as well as returned the swiped sticker, said sorry and also asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and also started playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate any individual to fix the dispute. And also yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You know why? Best Christian Parenting Books For Toddlers
Because we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to settle disputes, and even how to apologize. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat every person around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s possible.
Some visitors could be curious about my husband, Antonio, as well as his two adolescent sons from a previous marriage. Over time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively as well, and the restoration of their connection is nothing except miraculous.
So how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Best Christian Parenting Books For Toddlers
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I have actually ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be hard to alter your old ways. Little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or more from now, you will not believe how much you’ve changed, in addition to the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I advise any person that is serious about growing to be an extra positive mama or daddy to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Best Christian Parenting Books For Toddlers
You have actually probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her products have actually been life-altering for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.
In her cost-free webinar, Amy shares just how to get kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll assist you in starting parenting positive, as well as discover how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the free webinar by clicking the button shown below. Best Christian Parenting Books For Toddlers
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.