Best Newborn Parenting Books – How I Applied Positive Parenting to Ultimately Get My Kids to Cooperate

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Best Newborn Parenting Books
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mommy, I knew that I wished to do things differently than how I was parented. My mother and father did the best job they could, however they didn’t have access to the plethora of positive parenting tools offered today. Best Newborn Parenting Books

There were a few books on our bookshelf regarding taking care of power struggles, just how to discipline the strong-willed child, as well as exactly how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My parents don’t understand me.”

I’m not sure exactly what they discovered in those books, yet I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a great deal of screaming, and also a lot of just plain blowing up.

It was a tough number of years. And also our connection is still strained today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve begun to understand that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our duty to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to stop the cycle when I became a mommy.Best Newborn Parenting Books

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan Best Newborn Parenting Books

My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest child was born. I started checking out articles about how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, shouting, extreme punishments and practically every other commonly accepted parenting technique.

I began to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I know there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow every person to have their needs satisfied. I learned about:

• Problem-solving

• Handling power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how every one of these principles result in healthy and balanced child development Best Newborn Parenting Books

Best Newborn Parenting Books

In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. But he brought a different perspective. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and had observed firsthand how being the “mean dad” could seem to help for the moment. However long-term, it was only promoting disrespect, anger and bitterness in what was meant to be a loving parent-child connection.

Given his background and also learning precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching as well as following through with positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Best Newborn Parenting Books

Let me inform you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Ignoring major misbehavior

• Offering your children whatever they want Best Newborn Parenting Books

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no limits

You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the fact that collaboration consistently yields far better long-term results than strict control.

Moms and dads who embrace this design have learned to promote:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Establishing healthy and balanced boundaries

• Developing a child’s foundational character traits

Assisting children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not since they are afraid of punishment if they don’t … After all, what occurs when they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is over?

• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be listened to as well as valued

• Encouraging kids to grow their self-control

• Going much deeper than plain outside conformity and concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first began down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t imagine that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also yelling. That’s just how I was raised, and I just had no understanding about anything different. Best Newborn Parenting Books

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and also owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually served as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.

Below are a couple of the methods Amy teaches to assist you to come to be the mama or dad you’ve always wished to be, as well as assist your child to reach his or her complete potential.

Identify the root of the behavior

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s usually easier (as well as a lot more typical in today’s world) to think children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.

We can progress a whole lot farther toward addressing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs similar to you and me. And often times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. Best Newborn Parenting Books

A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that enables self-control) is not yet matured. That implies they can go from joyful one moment to complete tantrum the next. So rather than dealing with a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-restraint to begin with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is typically a key emotion underneath it

• The majority of upset children are really anxious and/or sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that have to be addressed first. As an example, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Focus on addressing that huge need initially.

• Acknowledge his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re truly upset due to the fact that I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I know it’s hard due to the fact that you really want to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, and I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if required.

• Focusing too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a big hug and also say “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into fists and growl. The intent is to permit him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I informed you previously that positive parenting benefits any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and everyone in between. So let’s think about young adults in our next scenario … Best Newborn Parenting Books

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we want to get from our child, we need to be willing to offer before anyone else. If I am discourteous, manipulative and also sarcastic to my young adult just because I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?

It is much easier to give respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mother or daddy, you can set the example and communicate to your young adult that you value their opinion, and you value them as an individual. Best Newborn Parenting Books

This does not suggest you need to be a pushover. But it does suggest you can be kind when faced with disputes. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.

In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we want our teen to treat us with even more respect, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. Best Newborn Parenting Books

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, as well as to the customer service representative on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking of. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can answer this with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share an individual story …

Just the other day, my two young girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, as well as she claimed she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned as well as returned the stolen sticker, said sorry as well as requested forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and also begun playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or intimidate any individual to fix the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You know why? Best Newborn Parenting Books

Since we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, how to settle disputes, as well as even just how to say sorry. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everyone around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we desire, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some readers might be wondering about my hubby, Antonio, and also his 2 adolescent boys from a previous marriage. Gradually, Antonio has actually started parenting positively as well, and also the restoration of their connection is nothing except miraculous.

So how can you become a positive parent? Best Newborn Parenting Books

This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I have actually ever before done. I will not lie to you – it can be challenging to change your old way of life. Little by little, you will make improvements. And also a year or more from now, you won’t think how much you’ve changed, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I recommend any individual who is serious about growing to be an extra positive mama or daddy to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Best Newborn Parenting Books

You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media channels. Her products have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents around the world, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.

In her cost-free class, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT manipulating or screaming. She’ll assist you in starting parenting positive, and discover how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the totally free class by clicking the button below. Best Newborn Parenting Books


Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.

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