Biting In Preschool – How I Applied Positive Parenting to Once And For All Get My Kids to Cooperate

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Biting In Preschool
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially became a mommy, I knew that I intended to do things in different ways than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the best they could, yet they really did not have access to the huge selection of positive parenting tools available today. Biting In Preschool

There were a couple of books on our shelf about taking care of power struggles, just how to deal with the stubborn child, as well as how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m uncertain exactly what they found out in those books, however I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a great deal of yelling, and also a lot of just plain tempers raging.

It was a challenging number of years. And also our relationship is still not the best today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually come to understand that, while no person is without flaws, it is our responsibility to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wished to stop the cycle when I became a mom.Biting In Preschool

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my strategy Biting In Preschool

My very own experience with positive parenting started when my first child was born. I started reading blogs about exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, yelling, extreme punishments as well as pretty much every other traditionally accepted parenting method.

I began to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I realize there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to have their needs fulfilled. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Solving power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How all of these principles bring about healthy and balanced child development Biting In Preschool

Biting In Preschool

During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. However he brought his own unique point of view. He had 2 teen boys from a previous relationship, and had actually experienced firsthand how being the “mean dad” could appear to benefit temporarily. Long-term, it was only breeding disrespect, contempt and also bitterness in what was meant to be a loving parent-child partnership.

Considering his history as well as learning exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching as well as employing positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Biting In Preschool

Let me tell you what it doesn’t suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids run wild

• Being a lazy parent

• Ignoring significant wrongdoing

• Providing your children everything they ask for Biting In Preschool

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”

• Having no boundaries

You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting method acknowledges the fact that collaboration always yields much better lasting results than harsh control.

Moms and dads that adopt this design have actually learned to cultivate:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Establishing healthy boundaries

• Developing a child’s foundational character traits

Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they are afraid of punishment if they don’t … After all, what takes place when they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?

• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be heard and also valued

• Encouraging kids to develop self-control

• Going much deeper than mere external conformity and also focusing on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially began down the path of gentle parenting, I could not picture that there were various other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also shouting. That’s exactly how I was treated as a child, and therefore I just had no framework for anything different. Biting In Preschool

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually worked as parenting guide to countless moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.

Right here are a number of the strategies Amy shares to assist you to come to be the mom or dad you’ve always intended to be, and assist your child to reach his or her highest potential.

Discover the root of the misbehavior

I told you this is deep. It’s typically widely accepted (and extra usual in today’s society) to assume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.

Yet we can get a whole lot more towards solving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs just like you and me. And many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and language development spectrum. Biting In Preschool

A toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that makes it possible for self-restraint) is not yet developed. That suggests they can go from happy one minute to complete meltdown the next. So rather than combating a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-control to begin with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is typically a key feeling under it

• Many mad children are really scared and/or sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that must be met first. As an example, if a child is hungry or tired, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Focus on meeting that big need first.

• Validate his feelings without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re truly mad because I said we could not play at the park today. I know it’s tough due to the fact that you really wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if required.

• Focusing more on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a big hug and also say loudly “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into fists and growl. The objective is to allow him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting helps any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everything in between. So let’s use teens in our next scenario … Biting In Preschool

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we wish to obtain from our child, we have to want to give first. If I am impolite, controlling as well as sarcastic to my young adult merely due to the fact that I “have every right because I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you believe that reveals to my child?

It is much easier to give respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mom or daddy, you can set the example and communicate to your teen that you value their opinion, and also you respect them as an individual. Biting In Preschool

This doesn’t indicate you have to be a pushover. However it does mean you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish a lot more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.

In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our young adult to treat us with more regard, the initial step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. Biting In Preschool

Are you kind to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer support rep on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking about. Bear in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can address this one with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share an individual story …

Just a few days ago, my 2 girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, and also she stated she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then came back and returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry as well as requested forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and begun playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate any person to solve the dispute. And yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You know why? Biting In Preschool

Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, how to fix disputes, as well as even how to say sorry. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everyone around us with respect, and also model the actions we want, you would be astonished at what’s possible.

Some readers may be wondering about my partner, Antonio, as well as his two teen sons from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively as well, and the repair of their connection is nothing short of miraculous.

So how can you come to be a positive parent? Biting In Preschool

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to alter your old way of life. Little by little, you will make improvements. And also a year or more from now, you won’t believe how much you’ve changed, together with the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I advise any person who is serious about becoming an extra positive mama or dad to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Biting In Preschool

You have actually probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media channels. Her products have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents across the globe, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can genuinely use every day.

In her totally free webinar, Amy shares just how to get kids of every age to listen WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll assist you in starting parenting positive, and find out how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the free webinar by clicking the button below. Biting In Preschool


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