Please note: This post contains affiliate links.
When I initially became a mommy, I knew that I wanted to do things differently than how I was parented. My mother and father did the very best they could, yet they really did not have access to the wide variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. Books About Weaning For Toddlers
There were a couple of books on our shelf regarding managing power struggles, exactly how to deal with the strong-willed child, and exactly how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”
I’m not sure just what they discovered in those books, but I experienced a lot of spanking, a lot of screaming, and a lot of just plain losing control.
It was a tough period of time. And our relationship is still not the best today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually begun to recognize that, while no person is perfect, it is our responsibility to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wanted to stop the cycle when I became a mother.Books About Weaning For Toddlers
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my solution Books About Weaning For Toddlers
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest little girl was born. I started reviewing blog posts about how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, yelling, severe punishments and also virtually every other generally approved parenting technique.
I began to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I know there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to have their needs met. I found out about:
• Managing power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how every one of these principles lead to healthy child development Books About Weaning For Toddlers
Along the way, my other half Antonio joined my journey. But he brought a different point of view. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually observed firsthand how being the “mean dad” could appear to benefit temporarily. Yet in the long run, it was only fostering disrespect, anger and resentment in what was expected to be a loving parent-child relationship.
Given his background and discovering specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying and also implementing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Books About Weaning For Toddlers
Let me inform you what it does not mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Ignoring significant wrongdoing
• Offering your children every little thing they ask for Books About Weaning For Toddlers
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”
• Having no limits
You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach recognizes the reality that collaboration consistently produces better lasting results than forced control.
Parents that embrace this design have learned to promote:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)
• Setting healthy limits
• Building a child’s foundational character and morals
• Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they are afraid of punishment if they do not … Besides, what takes place when they’re adults and the threat of punishment is over?
• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be listened to and also valued
• Encouraging kids to develop self-control
• Going deeper than mere outward compliance as well as concentrating on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first began on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were various other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as screaming. That’s how I was raised, and I simply had no understanding about anything different. Books About Weaning For Toddlers
I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert as well as creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually acted as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.
Discover the root of the acting out
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s commonly easier (as well as much more typical in today’s society) to think children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.
But we can progress a whole lot farther towards solving power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs just like you as well as me. And most times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development spectrum. Books About Weaning For Toddlers
A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that makes it possible for self-restraint) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from cloud nine one moment to major meltdown the next. So rather than combating a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-control to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that suggests there is always a primary feeling under it
• Most angry children are in fact frightened and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any basic needs that have to be addressed first. For instance, if a child is starving or sleepy, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Focus on meeting that large need initially.
• Validate his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re truly mad because I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I understand it’s hard because you really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if necessary.
• Focusing more on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and also say loudly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and growl. The intent is to permit him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting helps all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everyone in between. So let’s think about teenagers in our next example … Books About Weaning For Toddlers
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we desire to obtain from our child, we must be ready to provide. If I am discourteous, controlling as well as sarcastic to my young adult simply because I “have every right because I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you assume that teaches my child?
It is much easier to provide respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mama or father, you can set the example and show your teen that you value their point of view, and also you appreciate them as an individual. Books About Weaning For Toddlers
This does not indicate you need to be a pushover. It does indicate you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will certainly accomplish more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our teenager to treat us with even more respect, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. Books About Weaning For Toddlers
Are you gentle to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer service representative on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Bear in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can address this one with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share an individual story …
Just the other day, my 2 young girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, as well as she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned as well as returned the stolen sticker, apologized and asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and also begun playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate any person to resolve the dispute. And yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You know why? Books About Weaning For Toddlers
Since we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to resolve disputes, and even how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with every person around us with respect, as well as model the actions we want, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some readers could be curious about my other half, Antonio, and also his 2 adolescent sons from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively as well, and the repair of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.
Exactly how can you come to be a positive parent? Books About Weaning For Toddlers
This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is among the most fulfilling things I have actually ever done. I will not lie to you – it can be challenging to alter your old ways. Little by little, you will make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you won’t believe just how much you’ve changed, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.
I advise any person that is serious about coming to be an extra positive mommy or father to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Books About Weaning For Toddlers
You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media networks. Her materials have been life-altering for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.
In her cost-free class, Amy shares how to get kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and discover how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the cost-free class by clicking the button below. Books About Weaning For Toddlers
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.