Please note: This post contains affiliate links.
When I initially came to be a mama, I recognized that I wished to do things in different ways than how I was parented. My mother and father did the very best they could, but they didn’t have access to the wide variety of positive parenting tools available today. Can Babies Have Nightmares At 2 Months
There were a couple of books on our shelf about taking care of power struggles, exactly how to control the stubborn child, and exactly how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I definitely recall thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”
I’m not sure what exactly they found out in those books, yet I experienced a great deal of spanking, a great deal of shouting, and a lot of just plain tempers raging.
It was a challenging period of time. And also our connection is still not the best today, although I have truly forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve come to recognize that, while nobody is without fault, it is our duty to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to stop the cycle when I became a mama.Can Babies Have Nightmares At 2 Months
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan Can Babies Have Nightmares At 2 Months
My own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest little girl was born. I started reviewing blog posts about just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, yelling, severe punishments as well as virtually every other typically approved parenting technique.
I began to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I know there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable every person to have their needs met. I learned more about:
• Managing power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How every one of these ideas cause healthy and balanced child development Can Babies Have Nightmares At 2 Months
Along the way, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique point of view. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and had seen firsthand how being the “mean dad” may appear to benefit for the moment. Long-term, it was only fostering disrespect, anger and resentment in what was intended to be a caring parent-child partnership.
Considering his history and finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying as well as applying positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Can Babies Have Nightmares At 2 Months
Let me tell you what it does not mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Disregarding major wrongdoing
• Offering your children every little thing they ask for Can Babies Have Nightmares At 2 Months
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”
• Having no limitations
You may see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method identifies the truth that cooperation consistently yields much better long-lasting results than forced control.
Moms and dads that adopt this design have learned to cultivate:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Developing a child’s foundational character qualities
• Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they are afraid of retribution if they don’t … After all, what happens when they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is over?
• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be listened to as well as valued
• Encouraging kids to develop self-restraint
• Going deeper than simple exterior compliance and also concentrating on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first began on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not envision that there were various other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and shouting. That’s how I was raised, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. Can Babies Have Nightmares At 2 Months
I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to countless moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.
Find the root of the behavior
I mentioned this is deep. It’s usually simpler (and also more typical in today’s world) to presume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
We can get a lot farther towards resolving power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs similar to you and me. And many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. Can Babies Have Nightmares At 2 Months
As an example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-restraint) is not yet formed. That means they can go from cloud nine one moment to major meltdown the next. Rather than dealing with a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-discipline to start with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is always a main feeling beneath it
• The majority of upset children are actually anxious and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any basic needs that should be addressed initially. As an example, if a child is starving or sleepy, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Concentrate on meeting that big need first.
• Empathize with his emotions without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re truly mad due to the fact that I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s hard since you really really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if needed.
• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a big hug and also say loudly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and growl. The intent is to allow him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting helps all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teens as well as everyone in between. So let’s talk about teenagers in our following scenario … Can Babies Have Nightmares At 2 Months
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we intend to obtain from our child, we have to agree to give first. If I am impolite, controlling as well as sarcastic to my teen merely since I “have every right since I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you assume that communicates to my child?
It is much easier to provide respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mama or father, you can set the standard as well as show your teen that you value their opinion, and you respect them as an individual. Can Babies Have Nightmares At 2 Months
This does not indicate you need to be a pushover. It does suggest you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we want our teen to treat us with even more regard, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Can Babies Have Nightmares At 2 Months
Are you gentle to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer service rep on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking about. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this question with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share an individual story …
Just recently, my 2 daughters were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, as well as she claimed she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned and also returned the swiped sticker, said sorry and asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and also begun playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or manipulate anyone to fix the dispute. And yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You recognize why? Can Babies Have Nightmares At 2 Months
Since we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, how to deal with disputes, and also even just how to apologize. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat every person around us with respect, and also model the actions we want, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some readers could be wondering about my spouse, Antonio, as well as his two adolescent boys from a previous relationship. In time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively as well, and the repair of their relationship is nothing except a miracle.
So exactly how can you come to be a positive parent? Can Babies Have Nightmares At 2 Months
This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I have actually ever before done. I will not lie to you – it can be hard to transform your old way of life. Yet gradually, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you won’t think just how much you have actually changed, along with the closer connection you have with your kids.
I recommend anybody who is serious about coming to be an extra positive mom or father to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Can Babies Have Nightmares At 2 Months
You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media channels. Her materials have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can genuinely use every day.
In her cost-free webinar, Amy shares exactly how to help kids of every age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or screaming. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, as well as discover how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the free class by clicking the button below. Can Babies Have Nightmares At 2 Months
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.