Please note: This post contains affiliate links.
When I first came to be a mommy, I understood that I wanted to do things differently than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the very best they could, but they really did not have access to the variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. Child Discipline Techniques 3 Year Old
There were a couple of books on our shelf regarding taking care of power struggles, exactly how to deal with the stubborn child, and also just how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly recall thinking at the time, “My mom and dad don’t understand me.”
I’m not sure just what they found out in those books, yet I experienced a lot of spanking, a lot of yelling, and a lot of just plain blowing up.
It was a hard period of time. And our relationship is still not the best today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve begun to understand that, while nobody is perfect, it is our obligation to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to break the cycle when I came to be a mommy.Child Discipline Techniques 3 Year Old
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach Child Discipline Techniques 3 Year Old
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest daughter was born. I started reviewing blog posts regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, yelling, severe punishments and also virtually every other generally accepted parenting technique.
I started to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I know there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to have their needs fulfilled. I discovered:
• Handling power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how all of these principles lead to healthy and balanced child development Child Discipline Techniques 3 Year Old
In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought a different point of view. He had two teenage boys from a previous relationship, and had actually experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” may appear to work for the moment. But long-term, it was only breeding disrespect, anger and resentment in what was expected to be a loving parent-child partnership.
Considering his background as well as discovering precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching and also employing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyway? Child Discipline Techniques 3 Year Old
First, let me inform you what it does not mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids do whatever they want
• Being a passive parent
• Ignoring significant wrongdoing
• Providing your children whatever they ask for Child Discipline Techniques 3 Year Old
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”
• Having no limits
You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique recognizes the truth that cooperation consistently generates much better lasting results than strict control.
Parents that adopt this design have actually learned to promote:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced limits
• Developing a child’s fundamental character traits
• Helping children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of retribution if they don’t … Nevertheless, what takes place once they’re adults and the threat of punishment is removed?
• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be listened to as well as valued
• Assisting kids to establish self-control
• Going deeper than plain exterior conformity and focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not envision that there were other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as yelling. That’s just how I was raised, and I just had no understanding about anything different. Child Discipline Techniques 3 Year Old
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has worked as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.
Identify the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep. It’s typically much easier (and also extra usual in today’s society) to think children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
We can progress a whole lot farther toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They real needs much like you and me. As well as many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and language development spectrum. Child Discipline Techniques 3 Year Old
For example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-discipline) is not yet matured. That indicates they can go from joyful one minute to complete meltdown the next. Rather than dealing with a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-discipline to start with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is always a main feeling under it
• A lot of upset children are really anxious and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that must be addressed initially. As an example, if a child is hungry or exhausted, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Concentrate on addressing that large need first.
• Empathize with his feelings without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re truly mad because I said we could not play at the park today. I understand it’s tough due to the fact that you truly wish to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, so I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if required.
• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a big hug and say firmly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into fists and also growl. The goal is to allow him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting benefits every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everything in between. So let’s think about young adults in our next example … Child Discipline Techniques 3 Year Old
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we want to obtain from our child, we need to be willing to give before anyone else. If I am rude, controlling and sarcastic to my teen simply due to the fact that I “have every right since I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you think that teaches my child?
It is a lot easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mom or dad, you can set the example and also communicate to your teen that you value their point of view, and also you appreciate them as an individual. Child Discipline Techniques 3 Year Old
This doesn’t imply you need to be a pushover. It does suggest you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will accomplish more than you expect to set the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.
In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our teenager to treat us with even more regard, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Child Discipline Techniques 3 Year Old
Are you gentle to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer service representative on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be considering. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this one with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share an individual story …
Just recently, my 2 girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, and she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned and also returned the swiped sticker label, said sorry and requested forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and also begun playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or threaten anybody to resolve the problem. And also yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You know why? Child Discipline Techniques 3 Year Old
Since we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, just how to deal with disputes, as well as even just how to say sorry. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with every person around us with respect, and model the habits we want, you would be amazed at what’s possible.
Some readers may be wondering about my husband, Antonio, and his two teenage sons from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively also, as well as the repair of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.
So just how can you come to be a positive parent? Child Discipline Techniques 3 Year Old
This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I have actually ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to change your old ways. However little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or more from now, you won’t think how much you have actually changed, in addition to the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I advise any person who is serious about becoming a much more positive mommy or dad to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Child Discipline Techniques 3 Year Old
You have actually probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media channels. Her products have actually been life-altering for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can genuinely use every day.
In her complimentary class, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, and find out how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the cost-free class by clicking the button below. Child Discipline Techniques 3 Year Old
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.