Discipline For Teens – Just How I Applied Positive Parenting to Ultimately Get My Kids to Cooperate

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Discipline For Teens
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mom, I knew that I wished to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the very best they could, yet they didn’t have access to the myriad of positive parenting tools available today. Discipline For Teens

There were a few books on our shelf regarding managing power struggles, exactly how to control the strong-willed child, as well as exactly how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly recall thinking at the time, “My mom and dad don’t understand me.”

I’m unsure what exactly they found out in those books, but I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a lot of shouting, and a lot of just plain blowing up.

It was a difficult number of years. And our connection is still not the best today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for what happened. I’ve begun to recognize that, while no one is without fault, it is our obligation to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to break the cycle when I became a mommy.Discipline For Teens

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my solution Discipline For Teens

My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest little girl was born. I started reading blogs about how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, yelling, harsh punishments as well as practically every other generally approved parenting technique.

I started to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I understand there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow every person to have their needs satisfied. I discovered:

• Problem-solving

• Resolving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How all of these concepts lead to healthy and balanced child development Discipline For Teens

Discipline For Teens

During my learning experience, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different viewpoint. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage, and had actually observed firsthand just how being the “mean dad” could appear to benefit temporarily. However in the long run, it was just breeding disrespect, anger and also resentment in what was intended to be a caring parent-child partnership.

Considering his background and also discovering precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching and employing positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Discipline For Teens

Let me inform you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a lazy parent

• Overlooking major misbehavior

• Giving your children everything they want Discipline For Teens

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”

• Having no limitations

You may see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique acknowledges the truth that collaboration consistently generates far better long-lasting results than harsh control.

Moms and dads that embrace this concept have actually figured out how to cultivate:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Establishing healthy boundaries

• Building a child’s foundational character traits

Assisting children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they fear retribution if they don’t … Nevertheless, what occurs when they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is removed?

• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be listened to as well as valued

• Assisting kids to grow their self-control

• Going deeper than plain outside compliance and concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially began down the path of gentle parenting, I could not imagine that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also yelling. That’s just how I was parented, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. Discipline For Teens

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.

Right here are a number of the strategies Amy reveals to encourage you to become the mother or father you’ve always wanted to be, and also encourage your child to reach his/her highest potential.

Discover the root of the acting out

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s usually widely accepted (and extra typical in today’s society) to assume children are just spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

We can progress a great deal further towards addressing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They real needs much like you as well as me. And also often times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. Discipline For Teens

A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that makes it possible for self-restraint) is not yet matured. That means they can go from cloud nine one minute to complete meltdown the next. Instead of combating a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Toddlers have little self-control to begin with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is always a key emotion beneath it

• The majority of upset children are really frightened and/or sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any basic needs that have to be addressed initially. For example, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Focus on addressing that large need initially.

• Acknowledge his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re really mad due to the fact that I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s difficult due to the fact that you genuinely want to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, and also I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if required.

• Focusing too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a big hug and say loudly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The goal is to allow him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting benefits every age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens as well as everything in between. So let’s talk about teenagers in our following scenario … Discipline For Teens

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we desire to get from our child, we need to be eager to give. If I am rude, manipulative and also sarcastic to my teen just due to the fact that I “have every right given that I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you assume that reveals to my child?

It is a lot easier to give respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mama or father, you can set the standard and communicate to your teenager that you value their viewpoint, and also you respect them as a person. Discipline For Teens

This doesn’t indicate you have to be a pushover. Yet it does mean you can be kind when faced with conflict. It will certainly accomplish more than you expect to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we want our young adult to treat us with more respect, the initial step is to see to it that you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Discipline For Teens

Are you kind to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer care rep on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be considering. Bear in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can address this question with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …

Just the other day, my two girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, and she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned as well as returned the swiped sticker label, said sorry and also asked for forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and also begun playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or threaten any person to solve the conflict. And also yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You recognize why? Discipline For Teens

Since we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, how to solve conflict, and also even just how to say sorry. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everyone around us with respect, as well as model the habits we desire, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.

Some visitors could be wondering about my husband, Antonio, and his two teen boys from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has begun parenting positively too, and also the repair of their relationship is nothing except a miracle.

So how can you become a positive parent? Discipline For Teens

This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I have actually ever before done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to change your old ways. Yet little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or more from now, you won’t think how much you have actually transformed, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.

I advise any individual who is serious about coming to be a more positive mama or father to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Discipline For Teens

You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media networks. Her materials have been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents across the globe, as well as there’s no better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.

In her free class, Amy shares how to help kids of any age to listen WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, and learn how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the cost-free class by clicking the button below. Discipline For Teens


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