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When I initially became a mama, I knew that I wanted to do things in different ways than how I was parented. My mother and father did the best job they could, but they really did not have accessibility to the wide variety of positive parenting tools available today. Discipline Techniques For 5 Year Olds
There were a few books on our shelf regarding handling power struggles, how to discipline the stubborn child, as well as how to get your kids to obey. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My parents don’t understand me.”
I’m not exactly sure what exactly they discovered in those books, but I experienced a great deal of spanking, a great deal of yelling, as well as a lot of just plain losing control.
It was a hard number of years. And our connection is still strained today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for what happened. I’ve come to realize that, while no one is without fault, it is our responsibility to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wished to break the cycle when I came to be a mommy.Discipline Techniques For 5 Year Olds
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my solution Discipline Techniques For 5 Year Olds
My own experience with positive parenting started when my first little girl was born. I began reviewing material regarding how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, screaming, harsh punishments and also basically every other generally accepted parenting technique.
I started to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I know there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everybody to get their needs satisfied. I found out about:
• Managing power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how all of these principles cause healthy and balanced child development Discipline Techniques For 5 Year Olds
In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique point of view. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship, and also had witnessed firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” could appear to work for the moment. But in the long run, it was just fostering disrespect, contempt as well as bitterness in what was supposed to be a caring parent-child connection.
Considering his history as well as discovering exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying and also following through with positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting really mean anyway? Discipline Techniques For 5 Year Olds
First, let me tell you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids do whatever they want
• Being a lazy parent
• Disregarding major misbehavior
• Giving your children every little thing they ask for Discipline Techniques For 5 Year Olds
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “the real world”
• Having no restrictions
You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique recognizes the fact that collaboration always yields far better long-term results than strict control.
Parents that adopt this design have actually learned to foster:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Setting healthy limits
• Building a child’s foundational character qualities
• Encouraging children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they are afraid of retribution if they do not … Besides, what takes place once they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is removed?
• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be heard as well as valued
• Assisting kids to develop self-discipline
• Going deeper than simple outward compliance as well as concentrating on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first started down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t visualize that there were various other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as yelling. That’s just how I was raised, and I obviously had no framework for anything different. Discipline Techniques For 5 Year Olds
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.
Identify the root of the acting out
I mentioned this is deep. It’s often much easier (as well as more usual in today’s world) to presume children are just spoiled brats, which is why they act out.
We can progress a lot further toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs just like you and me. As well as most times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. Discipline Techniques For 5 Year Olds
For example, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-discipline) is not yet matured. That means they can go from cloud nine one minute to complete meltdown the next. So as opposed to fighting a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Young children have little self-control to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that implies there is typically a primary emotion under it
• A lot of mad children are in fact scared and/or sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that must be met initially. For example, if a child is hungry or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Focus on meeting that large need first.
• Acknowledge his feelings without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re sincerely mad since I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s difficult due to the fact that you genuinely wish to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, and also I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if needed.
• Focusing more on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a large hug and say loudly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands into fists and also growl. The point is to permit him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Bear In Mind the Golden Rule
I told you earlier that positive parenting benefits any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everyone in between. So let’s think about teenagers in our following example … Discipline Techniques For 5 Year Olds
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we desire to get from our child, we need to be prepared to give. If I am disrespectful, controlling and sarcastic to my teen simply because I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you assume that reveals to my child?
It is a lot easier to give respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mother or daddy, you can set the standard as well as communicate to your young adult that you value their opinion, and also you value them as a person. Discipline Techniques For 5 Year Olds
This does not imply you have to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will certainly accomplish more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we want our young adult to treat us with even more regard, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Discipline Techniques For 5 Year Olds
Are you gentle to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer support rep on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this one with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share a personal recollection …
Just a few days ago, my 2 girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, as well as she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned and returned the swiped sticker label, apologized and also asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced as well as begun playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or manipulate any person to solve the dispute. And yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You know why? Discipline Techniques For 5 Year Olds
Since we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, just how to solve disputes, and even how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat every person around us with respect, and model the actions we want, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some visitors might be curious about my spouse, Antonio, and his 2 teen boys from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively also, and also the repair of their connection is nothing short of miraculous.
So how can you become a positive parent? Discipline Techniques For 5 Year Olds
This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I have actually ever done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to transform your old ways. However little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or two from now, you will not think how much you have actually changed, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I recommend anyone that is serious about coming to be a much more positive mommy or father to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Discipline Techniques For 5 Year Olds
You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-altering for more than 75,000 parents across the globe, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely use every day.
In her free webinar, Amy shares exactly how to help kids of every age to behave WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and find out how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the totally free class by clicking the button below. Discipline Techniques For 5 Year Olds
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