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When I first became a mom, I understood that I wished to do things in a different way than how I was parented. My mother and father did the best they could, but they really did not have access to the plethora of positive parenting tools offered today. Do You Think Positive Parenting Techniques Work? Why Or Why Not?
There were a few books on our bookshelf regarding taking care of power struggles, how to discipline the stubborn child, and also exactly how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”
I’m uncertain exactly what they learned in those books, yet I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a great deal of shouting, as well as a great deal of just plain losing control.
It was a difficult number of years. And also our relationship is still strained today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve come to recognize that, while no one is without flaws, it is our responsibility to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I intended to stop the cycle when I became a mama.Do You Think Positive Parenting Techniques Work? Why Or Why Not?
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer Do You Think Positive Parenting Techniques Work? Why Or Why Not?
My own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest child was born. I started reading blogs concerning exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, yelling, severe punishments as well as practically every other traditionally accepted parenting technique.
I started to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I understand there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to have their needs fulfilled. I learned more about:
• Managing power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how every one of these concepts bring about healthy child development Do You Think Positive Parenting Techniques Work? Why Or Why Not?
Along the way, my other half Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought his own unique point of view. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and also had actually experienced firsthand how being the “mean dad” may seem to benefit temporarily. Long-term, it was just breeding disrespect, anger and also resentment in what was meant to be a loving parent-child partnership.
Given his background and also learning precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching and also implementing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Do You Think Positive Parenting Techniques Work? Why Or Why Not?
First, let me inform you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids run wild
• Being a lazy parent
• Ignoring major wrongdoing
• Giving your children every little thing they ask for Do You Think Positive Parenting Techniques Work? Why Or Why Not?
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will be required of them in “the real world”
• Having no restrictions
You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach recognizes the reality that collaboration consistently yields better long-lasting results than harsh control.
Moms and dads that embrace this concept have figured out how to promote:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Setting healthy limits
• Developing a child’s fundamental character and morals
• Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they are afraid of retribution if they don’t … Besides, what happens when they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be listened to as well as valued
• Encouraging kids to develop self-discipline
• Going deeper than mere outside conformity as well as concentrating on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first began down the road of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were various other ways to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and yelling. That’s how I was treated as a child, and therefore I just had no understanding about anything different. Do You Think Positive Parenting Techniques Work? Why Or Why Not?
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually acted as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online course.
Discover the root of the behavior
I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s often easier (and also much more usual in today’s world) to presume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
But we can progress a whole lot further towards solving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs much like you as well as me. And often times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and language development spectrum. Do You Think Positive Parenting Techniques Work? Why Or Why Not?
For instance, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-discipline) is not yet formed. That implies they can go from cloud nine one moment to complete tantrum the next. Rather than battling a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Toddlers have little self-discipline to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that means there is always a key feeling under it
• Many mad children are actually frightened and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that need to be addressed first. As an example, if a child is hungry or exhausted, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Focus on meeting that huge need first.
• Acknowledge his emotions without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely mad because I said we could not go to the park today. I know it’s hard because you genuinely want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if necessary.
• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a large hug and also say loudly “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The intent is to enable him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I told you previously that positive parenting benefits any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everyone in between. So let’s talk about young adults in our next example … Do You Think Positive Parenting Techniques Work? Why Or Why Not?
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we want to get from our child, we need to want to provide before anyone else. If I am impolite, manipulative as well as sarcastic to my young adult simply because I “have every right because I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?
It is much easier to give respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mother or daddy, you can set the example as well as show your teenager that you value their viewpoint, and you respect them as a person. Do You Think Positive Parenting Techniques Work? Why Or Why Not?
This doesn’t mean you need to be a pushover. However it does imply you can be kind despite problems. It will accomplish more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we want our teen to treat us with more regard, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Do You Think Positive Parenting Techniques Work? Why Or Why Not?
Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer care representative on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking about. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this question with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share an individual story …
Just recently, my two girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, and also she said she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned as well as returned the stolen sticker, apologized and also asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and started playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or threaten any person to deal with the problem. As well as yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You recognize why? Do You Think Positive Parenting Techniques Work? Why Or Why Not?
Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to solve disputes, and also even how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everyone around us with respect, as well as model the habits we want, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some readers may be curious about my spouse, Antonio, as well as his two teenage boys from a previous marriage. With time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively as well, as well as the restoration of their connection is nothing except a miracle.
Exactly how can you become a positive parent? Do You Think Positive Parenting Techniques Work? Why Or Why Not?
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most fulfilling things I have actually ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be tough to transform your old parenting style. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or 2 from now, you won’t believe how much you’ve altered, along with the closer connection you have with your kids.
I recommend any person that is serious about growing to be a more positive mama or daddy to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Do You Think Positive Parenting Techniques Work? Why Or Why Not?
You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media channels. Her materials have actually been life-altering for more than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.
In her free class, Amy shares just how to get kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, and also discover how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the totally free class by clicking the button shown below. Do You Think Positive Parenting Techniques Work? Why Or Why Not?
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