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When I first came to be a mother, I knew that I intended to do things in different ways than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the very best they could, yet they didn’t have access to the wide variety of positive parenting tools available today. Dr Laura Net Worth
There were a few books on our bookshelf concerning handling power struggles, exactly how to discipline the stubborn child, as well as exactly how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad don’t understand me.”
I’m not exactly sure what exactly they discovered in those books, but I experienced a lot of spanking, a lot of yelling, as well as a great deal of just plain blowing up.
It was a hard number of years. And our relationship is still strained today, although I have truly forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually come to recognize that, while no person is without flaws, it is our responsibility to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to break the cycle when I became a mama.Dr Laura Net Worth
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach Dr Laura Net Worth
My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest little girl was born. I began reviewing material concerning how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, screaming, severe punishments and also basically every other typically accepted parenting strategy.
I started to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I realize there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable every person to get their needs fulfilled. I learned more about:
• Resolving power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how every one of these ideas bring about healthy and balanced child development Dr Laura Net Worth
In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique viewpoint. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually witnessed firsthand how being the “mean dad” may appear to help temporarily. In the long run, it was only fostering disrespect, anger and resentment in what was supposed to be a caring parent-child partnership.
Considering his history as well as finding out precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying and also implementing positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting mean anyway? Dr Laura Net Worth
First, let me tell you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Ignoring major wrongdoing
• Offering your children whatever they ask for Dr Laura Net Worth
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no restrictions
You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach acknowledges the reality that cooperation consistently produces much better lasting results than harsh control.
Parents that embrace this design have learned to foster:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Developing a child’s foundational character qualities
• Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they are afraid of punishment if they don’t … After all, what takes place when they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is over?
• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be heard as well as valued
• Helping kids to establish self-restraint
• Going much deeper than mere outward conformity and also concentrating on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t imagine that there were various other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as screaming. That’s just how I was treated as a child, and therefore I obviously had no framework for anything different. Dr Laura Net Worth
I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually acted as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online course.
Discover the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s often simpler (as well as a lot more typical in today’s society) to think children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
We can progress a lot farther toward solving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs similar to you and also me. And also frequently their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. Dr Laura Net Worth
A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that allows self-discipline) is not yet developed. That suggests they can go from happy one moment to complete tantrum the next. So rather than combating a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Toddlers have little self-restraint to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is always a primary feeling underneath it
• Many upset children are really frightened and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of basic needs that need to be addressed initially. For example, if a child is hungry or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Focus on addressing that big need first.
• Validate his feelings without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re truly upset since I said we could not play at the park today. I understand it’s tough because you genuinely really want to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, and also I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to safeguard yourself if needed.
• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a big hug and also say loudly “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into clenched fists and growl. The intent is to allow him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting works for any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and everyone in between. So let’s use teenagers in our next example … Dr Laura Net Worth
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we want to obtain from our child, we should be ready to give. If I am rude, manipulative and sarcastic to my teenager simply because I “have every right since I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you assume that teaches my child?
It is much easier to offer respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mother or father, you can set the example and also communicate to your teenager that you value their opinion, as well as you value them as an individual. Dr Laura Net Worth
This does not suggest you have to be a pushover. But it does suggest you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish a lot more than you expect to set the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we want our teen to treat us with even more regard, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Dr Laura Net Worth
Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer support associate on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking about. Bear in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share an individual story …
Just the other day, my two girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, as well as she said she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, after that returned as well as returned the swiped sticker label, apologized as well as requested forgiveness.
They made up, embraced as well as begun playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate any individual to resolve the dispute. And yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You know why? Dr Laura Net Worth
Because we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to deal with disputes, as well as even how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat every person around us with respect, and model the habits we want, you would be amazed at what’s possible.
Some readers may be curious about my partner, Antonio, as well as his 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage. Gradually, Antonio has begun parenting positively also, as well as the repair of their connection is nothing short of miraculous.
Just how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Dr Laura Net Worth
This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I will not lie to you – it can be tough to change your old ways. But bit by bit, you will make improvements. And also a year or 2 from now, you won’t think how much you’ve altered, along with the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I suggest anyone that is serious about becoming a much more positive mother or daddy to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Dr Laura Net Worth
You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media networks. Her products have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.
In her free webinar, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of any age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, as well as learn how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button shown below. Dr Laura Net Worth
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