Dr Laura Wikipedia – Just How I Used Positive Parenting to Finally Get My Kids to Cooperate

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Dr Laura Wikipedia
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mom, I recognized that I intended to do things in different ways than how I was parented. My mom and dad did the best they could, yet they didn’t have access to the huge selection of positive parenting tools offered today. Dr Laura Wikipedia

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf concerning taking care of power struggles, exactly how to deal with the strong-willed child, and just how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”

I’m unsure just what they discovered in those books, however I experienced a great deal of spanking, a lot of yelling, as well as a lot of just plain blowing up.

It was a tough period of time. And also our relationship is still strained today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually begun to understand that, while no person is perfect, it is our duty to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to stop the cycle when I came to be a mother.Dr Laura Wikipedia

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my strategy Dr Laura Wikipedia

My own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest daughter was born. I began reviewing blog posts about how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, yelling, extreme punishments and also virtually every other traditionally approved parenting technique.

I began to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I understand there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable everybody to get their needs fulfilled. I learned about:

• Problem-solving

• Resolving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how every one of these ideas result in healthy and balanced child development Dr Laura Wikipedia

Dr Laura Wikipedia

In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. However he brought a different viewpoint. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had experienced firsthand how being the “mean father” could seem to help temporarily. Long-term, it was just promoting disrespect, contempt and also bitterness in what was expected to be a caring parent-child relationship.

Given his history and also finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching as well as employing positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyway? Dr Laura Wikipedia

Initially, let me inform you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Overlooking significant wrongdoing

• Providing your children whatever they want Dr Laura Wikipedia

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”

• Having no limitations

You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique recognizes the fact that cooperation always yields far better long-term results than harsh control.

Parents who embrace this concept have actually figured out how to foster:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Establishing healthy and balanced boundaries

• Developing a child’s foundational character traits

Helping children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not since they are afraid of punishment if they do not … Besides, what takes place once they’re adults and the threat of punishment is eliminated?

• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be heard and valued

• Encouraging kids to develop self-control

• Going much deeper than plain outward compliance as well as concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially began down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t visualize that there were various other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as shouting. That’s exactly how I was parented, and I obviously had no framework for anything different. Dr Laura Wikipedia

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.

Right here are a couple of the methods Amy reveals to assist you to become the mommy or dad you’ve always wanted to be, and assist your child to reach his/her highest potential.

Discover the root of the behavior

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s frequently widely accepted (as well as more typical in today’s society) to assume children are simply spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

We can get a whole lot farther towards resolving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They real needs just like you as well as me. And also many times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. Dr Laura Wikipedia

For instance, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet matured. That indicates they can go from joyful one moment to major meltdown the next. So rather than dealing with a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-discipline to start with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is always a main emotion underneath it

• Most angry children are really anxious and/or very sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that should be addressed first. For instance, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Concentrate on meeting that big need initially.

• Acknowledge his feelings without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely upset because I said we could not go to the park today. I recognize it’s tough because you genuinely want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I will not let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if necessary.

• Focusing more on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a big hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The intent is to enable him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you earlier that positive parenting benefits all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and everything in between. So let’s talk about teenagers in our following example … Dr Laura Wikipedia

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we desire to get from our child, we have to be eager to give. If I am disrespectful, controlling as well as sarcastic to my young adult just due to the fact that I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you assume that communicates to my child?

It is much easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mother or daddy, you can set the standard as well as show your young adult that you value their point of view, and also you appreciate them as a person. Dr Laura Wikipedia

This doesn’t indicate you have to be a pushover. But it does indicate you can be kind in the face of problems. It will certainly accomplish more than you expect to set the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.

In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we desire our young adult to treat us with even more regard, the initial step is to make sure that you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. Dr Laura Wikipedia

Are you kind to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer care representative on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be thinking of. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this question with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share an individual recollection …

Just a few days ago, my 2 girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, and she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then came back as well as returned the stolen sticker label, apologized and requested forgiveness.

They made up, hugged as well as started playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or manipulate anybody to settle the dispute. And also yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You recognize why? Dr Laura Wikipedia

Because we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, how to resolve disputes, as well as even how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat every person around us with respect, and model the behavior we desire, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.

Some readers may be wondering about my partner, Antonio, and also his two teen sons from a previous relationship. Over time, Antonio has begun parenting positively too, and the repair of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.

Just how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Dr Laura Wikipedia

This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be hard to alter your old parenting style. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you won’t believe how much you have actually changed, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.

I advise any individual who is serious about coming to be a much more positive mommy or daddy to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Dr Laura Wikipedia

You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-altering for more than 75,000 parents around the world, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.

In her totally free webinar, Amy shares how to help kids of every age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or screaming. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, and also learn how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the totally free class by clicking the button below. Dr Laura Wikipedia


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