EFT For Children – Just How I Used Positive Parenting to Finally Get My Kids to Behave

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EFT For Children
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first came to be a mother, I understood that I wanted to do things in a different way than how I was parented. My mother and father did the best job they could, however they really did not have accessibility to the plethora of positive parenting tools available today. EFT For Children

There were a few books on our shelf regarding handling power struggles, exactly how to control the stubborn child, and how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I noticeably recall thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m not sure exactly what they found out in those books, yet I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of shouting, and a great deal of just plain losing control.

It was a hard period of time. And also our connection is still strained today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually come to realize that, while no one is perfect, it is our duty to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I intended to break the cycle when I became a mama.EFT For Children

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my solution EFT For Children

My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I began reading material about just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, shouting, harsh punishments as well as virtually every other typically approved parenting technique.

I began to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to have their needs fulfilled. I discovered:

• Problem-solving

• Managing power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how every one of these concepts cause healthy child development EFT For Children

EFT For Children

In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique perspective. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship, and had actually observed firsthand how being the “mean father” might seem to benefit temporarily. Yet long-term, it was only fostering disrespect, contempt and resentment in what was expected to be a caring parent-child relationship.

Given his background and discovering exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying and applying positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyway? EFT For Children

Initially, let me tell you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Overlooking major misbehavior

• Providing your children whatever they ask for EFT For Children

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will be expected of them in “the real world”

• Having no restrictions

You may see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method identifies the truth that cooperation always yields better long-lasting outcomes than harsh control.

Parents that adopt this concept have actually figured out how to promote:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Setting healthy and balanced limits

• Building a child’s foundational character and morals

Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they fear punishment if they do not … Besides, what occurs as soon as they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is over?

• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be listened to and valued

• Assisting kids to establish self-restraint

• Going deeper than mere exterior conformity as well as concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially began down the path of gentle parenting, I could not envision that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and shouting. That’s how I was treated as a child, and therefore I obviously had no understanding about anything different. EFT For Children

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.

Here are a couple of the methods Amy teaches to encourage you to evolve into the mom or father you’ve always wanted to be, and also assist your child to reach his/her full potential.

Discover the root of the behavior

I told you this is deep. It’s typically much easier (as well as much more usual in today’s world) to think children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.

We can progress a whole lot farther toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They real needs much like you and also me. As well as frequently their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. EFT For Children

For instance, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-restraint) is not yet matured. That implies they can go from joyful one minute to major meltdown the next. So as opposed to dealing with a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-discipline to start with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is always a primary feeling underneath it

• The majority of upset children are in fact anxious and/or sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that must be met initially. For instance, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Concentrate on meeting that huge need first.

• Acknowledge his emotions without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely upset because I said we could not play at the park today. I recognize it’s difficult due to the fact that you really wish to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, so I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if necessary.

• Focusing more on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a large hug and also say “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into fists and also growl. The point is to permit him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you earlier that positive parenting works for any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and everyone in between. So let’s talk about teens in our next scenario … EFT For Children

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we want to obtain from our child, we have to agree to give before anyone else. If I am rude, controlling as well as sarcastic to my teenager just because I “have every right because I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?

It is much easier to provide respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mother or dad, you can set the example as well as show your teen that you value their viewpoint, as well as you value them as a person. EFT For Children

This does not imply you have to be a pushover. It does mean you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will accomplish more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.

In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we want our teen to treat us with even more respect, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. EFT For Children

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer support representative on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could address this question with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share a personal recollection …

Just the other day, my 2 young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, as well as she said she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned and returned the swiped sticker label, said sorry and also asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and also begun playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or threaten anyone to deal with the problem. As well as yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You know why? EFT For Children

Since we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to fix disputes, as well as even how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with every person around us with respect, and also model the habits we want, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some readers may be curious about my other half, Antonio, and also his 2 adolescent boys from a previous marriage. Over time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively also, and the restoration of their connection is nothing except a miracle.

Exactly how can you evolve to be a positive parent? EFT For Children

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be challenging to alter your old ways. Little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or more from now, you will not believe just how much you’ve altered, along with the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I advise any person that is serious about coming to be a much more positive mommy or daddy to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. EFT For Children

You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-altering for more than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really use every day.

In her totally free class, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of any age to listen WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, as well as find out how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the totally free class by clicking the button below. EFT For Children


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