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When I initially came to be a mama, I recognized that I intended to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the best they could, but they didn’t have accessibility to the variety of positive parenting tools offered today. Examples Of Positive Parenting
There were a few books on our bookshelf about handling power struggles, how to control the stubborn child, and how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I definitely recall thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”
I’m not sure exactly what they learned in those books, yet I experienced a great deal of spanking, a lot of yelling, and also a great deal of just plain tempers raging.
It was a difficult number of years. And our relationship is still strained today, although I have truly forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve begun to recognize that, while no one is without flaws, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I intended to break the cycle when I became a mama.Examples Of Positive Parenting
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach Examples Of Positive Parenting
My own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest child was born. I began reading blog posts about how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, shouting, extreme punishments and virtually every other generally approved parenting strategy.
I started to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I realize there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow every person to get their needs satisfied. I discovered:
• Resolving power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How every one of these principles lead to healthy child development Examples Of Positive Parenting
During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought a different perspective. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and also had actually observed firsthand just how being the “mean father” could seem to work for the moment. But long-term, it was just breeding disrespect, contempt as well as resentment in what was supposed to be a caring parent-child relationship.
Given his background as well as learning exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching and also following through with positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting mean anyhow? Examples Of Positive Parenting
Initially, let me inform you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a lazy parent
• Ignoring significant wrongdoing
• Providing your children every little thing they ask for Examples Of Positive Parenting
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will be required of them in “the real world”
• Having no limits
You may hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method identifies the truth that collaboration always generates better lasting outcomes than strict control.
Moms and dads who adopt this concept have actually figured out how to cultivate:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Setting healthy and balanced boundaries
• Developing a child’s fundamental character and morals
• Encouraging children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not due to the fact that they fear punishment if they don’t … Nevertheless, what occurs as soon as they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is removed?
• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be listened to and also valued
• Helping kids to develop self-restraint
• Going deeper than mere external compliance and focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first began down the path of gentle parenting, I could not envision that there were various other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as screaming. That’s just how I was parented, and I just had no understanding about anything different. Examples Of Positive Parenting
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually served as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.
Discover the root of the acting out
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s commonly widely accepted (and also a lot more usual in today’s world) to think children are simply spoiled brats, which is why they act out.
We can get a whole lot more towards addressing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs just like you and me. And many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and language development spectrum. Examples Of Positive Parenting
A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet developed. That implies they can go from cloud nine one minute to complete meltdown the next. Instead of battling a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-control to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is typically a primary emotion below it
• Many upset children are really anxious and/or sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that should be met first. As an example, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Focus on addressing that large need initially.
• Acknowledge his feelings without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely mad because I said we could not play at the park today. I understand it’s hard because you really really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I will not let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if necessary.
• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a huge hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands into clenched fists and also growl. The intent is to permit him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I told you previously that positive parenting benefits every age – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and everything in between. So let’s think about teens in our next scenario … Examples Of Positive Parenting
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we desire to receive from our child, we must be willing to offer. If I am rude, controlling and also sarcastic to my young adult merely due to the fact that I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you assume that teaches my child?
It is much easier to give respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mommy or daddy, you can set the example and communicate to your young adult that you value their point of view, as well as you appreciate them as a person. Examples Of Positive Parenting
This does not indicate you have to be a pushover. However it does indicate you can be kind despite conflict. It will accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our teenager to treat us with more respect, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Examples Of Positive Parenting
Are you gentle to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer support associate on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking of. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this question with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share an individual story …
Just a few days ago, my two young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and also she stated she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, after that came back and returned the stolen sticker, apologized as well as requested forgiveness.
They made up, hugged as well as started playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or threaten any person to resolve the conflict. And yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You recognize why? Examples Of Positive Parenting
Because we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, just how to resolve disputes, and even how to apologize. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everyone around us with respect, and also model the behavior we want, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some visitors may be curious about my partner, Antonio, as well as his 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship. Gradually, Antonio has actually started parenting positively too, as well as the repair of their relationship is nothing short of a miracle.
How can you evolve to be a positive parent? Examples Of Positive Parenting
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I have actually ever before done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to transform your old ways. However little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or 2 from now, you won’t believe how much you’ve changed, together with the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I suggest any individual who is serious about becoming a much more positive mom or daddy to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Examples Of Positive Parenting
You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media channels. Her products have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.
In her complimentary webinar, Amy shares just how to help kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and find out how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the free webinar by clicking the button below. Examples Of Positive Parenting
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.