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When I initially became a mother, I understood that I wanted to do things differently than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the very best they could, but they really did not have accessibility to the variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. Fred Jones Positive Classroom Discipline Strengths And Weaknesses
There were a few books on our bookshelf about managing power struggles, how to control the strong-willed child, and also just how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I definitely recall thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”
I’m uncertain just what they found out in those books, yet I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of screaming, as well as a great deal of just plain tempers raging.
It was a hard period of time. And our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for what happened. I have actually come to understand that, while no one is without flaws, it is our responsibility to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to stop the cycle when I became a mama.Fred Jones Positive Classroom Discipline Strengths And Weaknesses
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan Fred Jones Positive Classroom Discipline Strengths And Weaknesses
My own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest child was born. I started reviewing blog posts regarding just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, screaming, extreme punishments as well as basically every other generally approved parenting strategy.
I began to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I realize there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow every person to have their needs satisfied. I learned more about:
• Solving power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how every one of these principles lead to healthy and balanced child development Fred Jones Positive Classroom Discipline Strengths And Weaknesses
During my learning experience, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique perspective. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship, and had seen firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” may seem to help for the moment. Long-term, it was only promoting disrespect, anger as well as bitterness in what was meant to be a loving parent-child partnership.
Given his background as well as learning precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining as well as applying positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting mean anyhow? Fred Jones Positive Classroom Discipline Strengths And Weaknesses
Let me inform you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Ignoring significant misbehavior
• Offering your children whatever they want Fred Jones Positive Classroom Discipline Strengths And Weaknesses
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”
• Having no limits
You may hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique recognizes the reality that collaboration always yields better long-lasting outcomes than forced control.
Moms and dads that adopt this concept have learned to promote:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Establishing healthy limits
• Developing a child’s foundational character qualities
• Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they are afraid of punishment if they do not … Nevertheless, what occurs when they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is removed?
• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be listened to and also valued
• Helping kids to establish self-restraint
• Going much deeper than mere outward conformity as well as focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first started on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not envision that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and shouting. That’s just how I was raised, and I obviously had no understanding about anything different. Fred Jones Positive Classroom Discipline Strengths And Weaknesses
I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.
Discover the root of the acting out
I mentioned this is deep. It’s commonly widely accepted (as well as much more usual in today’s world) to assume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
However we can progress a whole lot further toward solving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs much like you and me. And most times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. Fred Jones Positive Classroom Discipline Strengths And Weaknesses
As an example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-restraint) is not yet developed. That suggests they can go from cloud nine one minute to major meltdown the next. So rather than battling a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-restraint to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is always a main emotion underneath it
• A lot of angry children are really anxious and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that need to be met initially. As an example, if a child is hungry or exhausted, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Concentrate on addressing that huge need first.
• Acknowledge his emotions without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely mad since I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I recognize it’s hard since you really want to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, so I will not allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to safeguard yourself if necessary.
• Focusing too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a big hug and also say “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The point is to enable him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting works for any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and everyone in between. So let’s think about teenagers in our next scenario … Fred Jones Positive Classroom Discipline Strengths And Weaknesses
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we want to receive from our child, we have to be eager to give. If I am rude, manipulative and also sarcastic to my teenager just due to the fact that I “have every right because I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you believe that communicates to my child?
It is much easier to offer respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mommy or father, you can set the standard and communicate to your teen that you value their viewpoint, as well as you value them as an individual. Fred Jones Positive Classroom Discipline Strengths And Weaknesses
This does not mean you need to be a pushover. It does mean you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will certainly accomplish more than you expect to set the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our teenager to treat us with even more regard, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. Fred Jones Positive Classroom Discipline Strengths And Weaknesses
Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer service rep on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be considering. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can answer this with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share an individual recollection …
Just the other day, my 2 daughters were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, and also she stated she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned and returned the swiped sticker label, apologized as well as requested forgiveness.
They made up, embraced as well as started playing once again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or manipulate any person to fix the conflict. And yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You recognize why? Fred Jones Positive Classroom Discipline Strengths And Weaknesses
Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to solve conflict, as well as even just how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everyone around us with respect, and model the actions we want, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some visitors may be curious about my partner, Antonio, and his 2 teenage sons from a previous marriage. Over time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively too, and also the repair of their relationship is nothing short of a miracle.
So how can you come to be a positive parent? Fred Jones Positive Classroom Discipline Strengths And Weaknesses
This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I have actually ever before done. I won’t lie to you – it can be hard to change your old ways. Little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or more from now, you will not believe how much you’ve changed, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I recommend any person who is serious about becoming a much more positive mother or dad to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Fred Jones Positive Classroom Discipline Strengths And Weaknesses
You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media channels. Her products have actually been life-altering for more than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really use every day.
In her totally free webinar, Amy shares how to help kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT manipulating or screaming. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, and find out how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the free class by clicking the button below. Fred Jones Positive Classroom Discipline Strengths And Weaknesses
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