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When I initially came to be a mommy, I recognized that I wished to do things in different ways than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the best they could, yet they really did not have access to the plethora of positive parenting tools readily available today. Funny Things For Kids To Say
There were a couple of books on our bookshelf about taking care of power struggles, exactly how to control the strong-willed child, and also exactly how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”
I’m unsure exactly what they discovered in those books, but I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of shouting, and a lot of just plain tempers raging.
It was a difficult period of time. And also our relationship is still strained today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually begun to recognize that, while no person is without fault, it is our responsibility to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I intended to break the cycle when I came to be a mommy.Funny Things For Kids To Say
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my answer Funny Things For Kids To Say
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest child was born. I began checking out blogs regarding how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, shouting, extreme punishments as well as virtually every other traditionally approved parenting method.
I started to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I know there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to get their needs fulfilled. I learned about:
• Handling power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how all of these concepts lead to healthy and balanced child development Funny Things For Kids To Say
In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. But he brought a different point of view. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship, and also had actually observed firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” might seem to benefit temporarily. Long-term, it was only breeding disrespect, anger and also bitterness in what was intended to be a loving parent-child connection.
Given his background and also finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying as well as implementing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting mean anyhow? Funny Things For Kids To Say
Initially, let me inform you what it doesn’t imply. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Ignoring significant misbehavior
• Giving your children every little thing they want Funny Things For Kids To Say
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will be required of them in “the real world”
• Having no limitations
You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique acknowledges the truth that collaboration always produces better lasting outcomes than harsh control.
Parents who embrace this concept have actually learned to foster:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced limits
• Building a child’s fundamental character and morals
• Helping children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not due to the fact that they fear punishment if they don’t … After all, what occurs as soon as they’re adults and the threat of punishment is removed?
• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be heard and valued
• Encouraging kids to develop self-discipline
• Going much deeper than plain outside conformity as well as concentrating on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first started on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not imagine that there were other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as screaming. That’s how I was treated as a child, and therefore I obviously had no framework for anything different. Funny Things For Kids To Say
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually acted as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online course.
Identify the root of the behavior
I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s often easier (as well as extra common in today’s world) to think children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
But we can progress a lot further toward addressing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs similar to you and also me. And often times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. Funny Things For Kids To Say
As an example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-control) is not yet matured. That implies they can go from happy one moment to major meltdown the next. So as opposed to fighting a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Young children have little self-discipline to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that suggests there is always a primary feeling beneath it
• Many mad children are in fact anxious and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that need to be addressed first. For instance, if a child is hungry or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Concentrate on addressing that large need first.
• Acknowledge his emotions without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely angry because I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I recognize it’s difficult due to the fact that you really wish to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, so I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if needed.
• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a large hug and say loudly “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into clenched fists and growl. The goal is to enable him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting works for all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everyone in between. So let’s think about young adults in our following scenario … Funny Things For Kids To Say
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we want to obtain from our child, we must be willing to provide before anyone else. If I am impolite, manipulative and also sarcastic to my teen simply since I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you believe that communicates to my child?
It is a lot easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mother or daddy, you can set the example and also show your teen that you value their viewpoint, and you respect them as an individual. Funny Things For Kids To Say
This doesn’t mean you have to be a pushover. Yet it does indicate you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we want our teen to treat us with even more regard, the initial step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. Funny Things For Kids To Say
Are you gentle to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer service rep on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking of. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share a personal recollection …
Just a few days ago, my two daughters were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, and also she stated she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned as well as returned the swiped sticker label, said sorry and also asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and begun playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or manipulate anyone to solve the dispute. And yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You recognize why? Funny Things For Kids To Say
Because we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, how to solve disputes, and also even just how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everybody around us with respect, and also model the actions we want, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some visitors might be wondering about my spouse, Antonio, as well as his 2 teen boys from a previous relationship. Gradually, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively too, and the restoration of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.
How can you evolve to be a positive parent? Funny Things For Kids To Say
This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I have actually ever before done. I will not lie to you – it can be challenging to change your old ways. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you won’t believe just how much you’ve changed, together with the closer connection you have with your kids.
I recommend anybody who is serious about becoming an extra positive mama or daddy to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Funny Things For Kids To Say
You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any number of media networks. Her materials have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can genuinely use every day.
In her complimentary webinar, Amy shares how to help kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll assist you in starting parenting positive, and also discover how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the cost-free webinar by clicking the button below. Funny Things For Kids To Say
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