Funny Things Kids Say And Do – Exactly How I Chose Positive Parenting to Once And For All Get My Kids to Cooperate

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Funny Things Kids Say And Do
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first came to be a mom, I recognized that I wanted to do things in different ways than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the best job they could, yet they didn’t have access to the wide variety of positive parenting tools offered today. Funny Things Kids Say And Do

There were a couple of books on our shelf about handling power struggles, how to deal with the strong-willed child, and exactly how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”

I’m not sure just what they found out in those books, but I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a lot of screaming, and a great deal of just plain blowing up.

It was a challenging number of years. And our connection is still strained today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to recognize that, while no one is perfect, it is our responsibility to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to break the cycle when I came to be a mommy.Funny Things Kids Say And Do

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my strategy Funny Things Kids Say And Do

My very own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest child was born. I started reading blog posts regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, yelling, extreme punishments as well as virtually every other generally accepted parenting technique.

I started to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I know there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to have their needs met. I learned more about:

• Problem-solving

• Dealing with power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How all of these principles lead to healthy and balanced child development Funny Things Kids Say And Do

Funny Things Kids Say And Do

During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. But he brought a different point of view. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and had actually experienced firsthand just how being the “mean father” could appear to benefit temporarily. Long-term, it was just fostering disrespect, contempt and resentment in what was meant to be a caring parent-child connection.

Given his history as well as discovering precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying and applying positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting mean anyway? Funny Things Kids Say And Do

Let me tell you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a lazy parent

• Overlooking major misbehavior

• Providing your children every little thing they want Funny Things Kids Say And Do

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”

• Having no boundaries

You might hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting method acknowledges the fact that cooperation always yields better long-lasting results than forced control.

Parents who embrace this concept have learned to promote:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Setting healthy and balanced boundaries

• Building a child’s fundamental character qualities

Helping children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not since they are afraid of punishment if they do not … Besides, what happens as soon as they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be heard and also valued

• Assisting kids to develop self-discipline

• Going deeper than mere external compliance and concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first began down the road of gentle parenting, I could not visualize that there were other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as screaming. That’s exactly how I was treated as a child, and therefore I simply had no framework for anything different. Funny Things Kids Say And Do

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and also creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.

Right here are a couple of the strategies Amy shares to encourage you to become the mother or daddy you’ve always wished to be, as well as help your child to reach his or her complete potential.

Discover the root of the misbehavior

I told you this is deep stuff. It’s commonly easier (and a lot more common in today’s world) to presume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

We can get a whole lot further toward addressing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs much like you as well as me. And frequently their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. Funny Things Kids Say And Do

As an example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-restraint) is not yet matured. That suggests they can go from happy one moment to major meltdown the next. So as opposed to battling a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Toddlers have little self-control to begin with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is typically a main feeling underneath it

• Most mad children are actually anxious and/or very sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any kind of basic needs that should be addressed initially. As an example, if a child is starving or exhausted, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Concentrate on meeting that large need initially.

• Validate his feelings without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely mad due to the fact that I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s difficult due to the fact that you genuinely wish to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, and also I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if required.

• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a huge hug and say “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The goal is to permit him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you previously that positive parenting works for all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everything in between. So let’s think about young adults in our next example … Funny Things Kids Say And Do

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we desire to obtain from our child, we have to be willing to provide. If I am discourteous, manipulative and also sarcastic to my teen simply due to the fact that I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?

It is much easier to provide respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mama or dad, you can set the standard and also show your young adult that you value their opinion, and you appreciate them as a person. Funny Things Kids Say And Do

This does not imply you need to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.

In a similar way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we want our teen to treat us with even more regard, the initial step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing just that to everybody in your life. Funny Things Kids Say And Do

Are you kind to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer care rep on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this question with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …

Just a few days ago, my 2 girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, and also she said she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned as well as returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and also asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced as well as begun playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or intimidate any person to settle the dispute. And also yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You know why? Funny Things Kids Say And Do

Because we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to settle conflict, and even exactly how to apologize. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat every person around us with respect, and also model the behavior we want, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.

Some readers might be wondering about my partner, Antonio, and his 2 adolescent sons from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has begun parenting positively as well, and also the repair of their connection is nothing except a miracle.

How can you become a positive parent? Funny Things Kids Say And Do

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to change your old parenting style. Little by little, you will make improvements. And also a year or two from now, you will not think just how much you’ve transformed, together with the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I advise any person who is serious about becoming an extra positive mom or father to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Funny Things Kids Say And Do

You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media networks. Her materials have been life-altering for more than 75,000 parents around the world, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can genuinely use every day.

In her free class, Amy shares how to get kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT manipulating or screaming. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, as well as find out how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button below. Funny Things Kids Say And Do


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