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When I initially became a mother, I knew that I wished to do things in different ways than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the best they could, but they didn’t have access to the variety of positive parenting tools offered today. Funny Things To Say To Kids
There were a few books on our bookshelf about dealing with power struggles, how to discipline the stubborn child, as well as just how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I noticeably recall thinking at the time, “My mom and dad don’t understand me.”
I’m not exactly sure exactly what they discovered in those books, however I grew up with a lot of spanking, a lot of shouting, as well as a lot of just plain losing control.
It was a hard number of years. And also our relationship is still not the best today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for what happened. I have actually come to recognize that, while no one is perfect, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I intended to break the cycle when I came to be a mama.Funny Things To Say To Kids
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my plan Funny Things To Say To Kids
My own experience with positive parenting started when my first little girl was born. I started reading material regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed with spanking, shouting, severe punishments as well as virtually every other generally accepted parenting method.
I started to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I understand there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everybody to get their needs satisfied. I discovered:
• Handling power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How all of these ideas cause healthy and balanced child development Funny Things To Say To Kids
In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought a different viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had seen firsthand just how being the “mean dad” may appear to benefit for the moment. But in the long run, it was only fostering disrespect, contempt as well as resentment in what was intended to be a caring parent-child partnership.
Given his background and also learning exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching and implementing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting mean anyhow? Funny Things To Say To Kids
Let me tell you what it does not mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a lazy parent
• Overlooking major misbehavior
• Offering your children everything they want Funny Things To Say To Kids
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”
• Having no restrictions
You may see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique acknowledges the fact that collaboration always generates far better long-lasting results than harsh control.
Parents who embrace this design have learned to cultivate:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Setting healthy and balanced boundaries
• Building a child’s foundational character traits
• Helping children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of punishment if they do not … After all, what occurs when they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be heard and valued
• Encouraging kids to establish self-control
• Going deeper than mere outward conformity as well as focusing on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first began down the road of gentle parenting, I could not imagine that there were other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and screaming. That’s just how I was parented, and therefore I simply had no framework for anything different. Funny Things To Say To Kids
I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has worked as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.
Get to the root of the acting out
I mentioned this is deep. It’s commonly widely accepted (and extra common in today’s society) to think children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.
We can progress a great deal further towards solving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs similar to you as well as me. And also many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. Funny Things To Say To Kids
A toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-restraint) is not yet matured. That indicates they can go from delighted one minute to complete tantrum the next. Rather than dealing with a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-restraint to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that suggests there is typically a key feeling underneath it
• A lot of mad children are actually scared and/or sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that must be addressed first. As an example, if a child is starving or exhausted, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Concentrate on meeting that big need first.
• Acknowledge his emotions without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely angry since I said we could not go to the park today. I understand it’s difficult since you truly wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if required.
• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a big hug and also say loudly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and growl. The goal is to enable him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Bear In Mind the Golden Rule
I told you earlier that positive parenting works for any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and everything in between. So let’s use young adults in our following example … Funny Things To Say To Kids
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we want to receive from our child, we need to be ready to provide. If I am discourteous, controlling as well as sarcastic to my young adult simply since I “have every right since I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?
It is much easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mama or dad, you can set the example and show your teen that you value their viewpoint, and also you value them as a person. Funny Things To Say To Kids
This doesn’t indicate you need to be a pushover. It does indicate you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will accomplish a lot more than you expect to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our teen to treat us with even more respect, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. Funny Things To Say To Kids
Are you kind to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer support rep on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this question with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share an individual recollection …
Just a few days ago, my two girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, and also she said she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned as well as returned the stolen sticker, said sorry and requested forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and begun playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or manipulate anybody to fix the problem. And also yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You know why? Funny Things To Say To Kids
Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to settle conflict, as well as even exactly how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everybody around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we want, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some visitors could be wondering about my other half, Antonio, as well as his 2 teen sons from a previous relationship. Over time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively as well, and also the restoration of their connection is nothing short of miraculous.
So exactly how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Funny Things To Say To Kids
This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever before done. I won’t lie to you – it can be difficult to alter your old way of life. Yet little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you won’t think how much you have actually transformed, together with the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I suggest anyone that is serious about coming to be an extra positive mama or father to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Funny Things To Say To Kids
You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media networks. Her materials have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents around the world, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can genuinely use every day.
In her free class, Amy shares exactly how to help kids of every age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, and also find out how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the free webinar by clicking the button below. Funny Things To Say To Kids
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