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When I first came to be a mom, I knew that I intended to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the best they could, yet they really did not have accessibility to the plethora of positive parenting tools offered today. How Can I Get My 2 Year Old To Go To Sleep
There were a few books on our bookshelf concerning managing power struggles, how to deal with the stubborn child, and how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I definitely recall thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”
I’m uncertain exactly what they found out in those books, yet I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of shouting, as well as a great deal of just plain blowing up.
It was a tough period of time. And also our connection is still strained today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to recognize that, while nobody is perfect, it is our obligation to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I intended to stop the cycle when I came to be a mommy.How Can I Get My 2 Year Old To Go To Sleep
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan How Can I Get My 2 Year Old To Go To Sleep
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest little girl was born. I started reviewing material about just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, screaming, severe punishments and also basically every other generally approved parenting method.
I began to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to get their needs satisfied. I learned about:
• Handling power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how all of these ideas bring about healthy and balanced child development How Can I Get My 2 Year Old To Go To Sleep
Along the way, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. However he brought his own unique perspective. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and had experienced firsthand how being the “mean father” might seem to help temporarily. But long-term, it was only promoting disrespect, anger as well as resentment in what was supposed to be a loving parent-child partnership.
Considering his background as well as learning specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching and following through with positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyway? How Can I Get My 2 Year Old To Go To Sleep
Let me inform you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a lazy parent
• Ignoring significant wrongdoing
• Offering your children everything they ask for How Can I Get My 2 Year Old To Go To Sleep
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no limits
You may hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach recognizes the truth that cooperation always yields far better long-lasting results than forced control.
Moms and dads who embrace this design have learned to foster:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)
• Setting healthy and balanced boundaries
• Developing a child’s foundational character and morals
• Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they are afraid of retribution if they don’t … Nevertheless, what occurs as soon as they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be heard as well as valued
• Assisting kids to develop self-discipline
• Going much deeper than mere exterior compliance and focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first began down the road of gentle parenting, I could not envision that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and also yelling. That’s how I was parented, and therefore I just had no framework for anything different. How Can I Get My 2 Year Old To Go To Sleep
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually worked as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.
Discover the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s often easier (as well as extra common in today’s world) to assume children are simply spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.
We can progress a great deal farther towards resolving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs just like you and me. And also frequently their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and language development spectrum. How Can I Get My 2 Year Old To Go To Sleep
As an example, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet matured. That implies they can go from happy one minute to complete meltdown the next. So as opposed to fighting a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Toddlers have little self-restraint to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is always a main emotion below it
• Many upset children are really frightened and/or sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that need to be met initially. As an example, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Focus on addressing that large need first.
• Acknowledge his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely upset due to the fact that I said we could not go to the park today. I know it’s difficult due to the fact that you truly wish to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, and also I won’t allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if necessary.
• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands into fists and growl. The goal is to permit him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.
Bear In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting benefits every age – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and everything in between. So let’s use teens in our next example … How Can I Get My 2 Year Old To Go To Sleep
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we desire to obtain from our child, we have to be prepared to provide. If I am rude, controlling and sarcastic to my teen just because I “have every right given that I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?
It is a lot easier to give respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mama or father, you can set the standard as well as show your teen that you value their point of view, as well as you respect them as an individual. How Can I Get My 2 Year Old To Go To Sleep
This doesn’t mean you have to be a pushover. Yet it does suggest you can be kind when faced with problems. It will certainly accomplish more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we want our teenager to treat us with even more regard, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. How Can I Get My 2 Year Old To Go To Sleep
Are you gentle to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer service rep on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be considering. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this question with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share an individual story …
Just the other day, my 2 young girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, as well as she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned and also returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and also asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and started playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or threaten any individual to resolve the problem. And yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You know why? How Can I Get My 2 Year Old To Go To Sleep
Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, exactly how to solve disputes, as well as even how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everyone around us with respect, and model the habits we desire, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some visitors may be curious about my spouse, Antonio, as well as his two teen sons from a previous relationship. Gradually, Antonio has begun parenting positively as well, and the restoration of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.
So how can you become a positive parent? How Can I Get My 2 Year Old To Go To Sleep
This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to alter your old way of life. Little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or two from now, you won’t believe how much you’ve transformed, in addition to the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I advise anybody that is serious about becoming a more positive mama or dad to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. How Can I Get My 2 Year Old To Go To Sleep
You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media channels. Her materials have actually been life-altering for greater than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can absolutely apply every day.
In her cost-free webinar, Amy shares just how to help kids of any age to behave WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and find out how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the cost-free class by clicking the button below. How Can I Get My 2 Year Old To Go To Sleep
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