How Can Positive Parenting Encourage Personal Development? – Just How I Applied Positive Parenting to At Long Last Get My Kids to Listen

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How Can Positive Parenting Encourage Personal Development?
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially became a mother, I understood that I wished to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the very best they could, but they really did not have access to the huge selection of positive parenting tools offered today. How Can Positive Parenting Encourage Personal Development?

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf about taking care of power struggles, exactly how to deal with the stubborn child, as well as exactly how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I definitely remember thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”

I’m unsure just what they discovered in those books, but I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a great deal of screaming, and also a lot of just plain blowing up.

It was a tough period of time. And our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to understand that, while no person is without flaws, it is our responsibility to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I intended to stop the cycle when I became a mama.How Can Positive Parenting Encourage Personal Development?

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my answer How Can Positive Parenting Encourage Personal Development?

My own experience with positive parenting began when my first child was born. I began reviewing blogs concerning just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed with spanking, yelling, severe punishments and also virtually every other commonly accepted parenting technique.

I started to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I know there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow every person to get their needs satisfied. I discovered:

• Problem-solving

• Dealing with power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how all of these concepts lead to healthy child development How Can Positive Parenting Encourage Personal Development?

How Can Positive Parenting Encourage Personal Development?

During my learning experience, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different perspective. He had two teenage boys from a previous relationship, and had seen firsthand just how being the “mean dad” may appear to benefit for the moment. In the long run, it was only promoting disrespect, contempt and bitterness in what was meant to be a caring parent-child relationship.

Given his history and also discovering exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching and also employing positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? How Can Positive Parenting Encourage Personal Development?

Initially, let me tell you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids run wild

• Being a lazy parent

• Disregarding major misbehavior

• Giving your children everything they want How Can Positive Parenting Encourage Personal Development?

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no restrictions

You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method acknowledges the truth that cooperation always yields much better long-term outcomes than harsh control.

Parents who embrace this concept have learned to cultivate:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Establishing healthy and balanced boundaries

• Building a child’s fundamental character traits

Encouraging children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not due to the fact that they fear retribution if they don’t … After all, what happens when they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is removed?

• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be heard as well as valued

• Encouraging kids to establish self-control

• Going much deeper than plain outward conformity and concentrating on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not picture that there were various other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as yelling. That’s how I was raised, and I just had no framework for anything different. How Can Positive Parenting Encourage Personal Development?

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online course.

Below are a couple of the strategies Amy shares to help you to come to be the mama or dad you have actually always wanted to be, and help your child to reach his or her highest potential.

Discover the root of the behavior

I told you this is deep. It’s commonly widely accepted (and also a lot more usual in today’s world) to think children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.

We can progress a great deal further towards addressing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They real needs just like you as well as me. As well as most times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. How Can Positive Parenting Encourage Personal Development?

For example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-discipline) is not yet formed. That implies they can go from happy one moment to major meltdown the next. So instead of battling a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Toddlers have little self-discipline to begin with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that implies there is always a main feeling below it

• Most angry children are really frightened and/or very sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that need to be met first. For instance, if a child is starving or exhausted, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Concentrate on addressing that big need initially.

• Empathize with his feelings without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely angry due to the fact that I said we could not play at the park today. I recognize it’s hard due to the fact that you really want to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, and also I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if needed.

• Focusing too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and say loudly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into clenched fists and growl. The intent is to permit him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I informed you previously that positive parenting benefits all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everything in between. So let’s use teens in our following scenario … How Can Positive Parenting Encourage Personal Development?

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we intend to receive from our child, we need to agree to give first. If I am disrespectful, manipulative and also sarcastic to my teenager just since I “have every right given that I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?

It is much easier to offer respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or dad, you can set the example and also communicate to your teenager that you value their point of view, as well as you appreciate them as a person. How Can Positive Parenting Encourage Personal Development?

This does not suggest you have to be a pushover. It does mean you can be kind in the face of problems. It will certainly accomplish more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.

In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we want our teen to treat us with more respect, the initial step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. How Can Positive Parenting Encourage Personal Development?

Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer support rep on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking about. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this one with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share an individual story …

Just the other day, my 2 young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, as well as she said she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned as well as returned the swiped sticker label, apologized and requested forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and also started playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or manipulate anybody to solve the problem. As well as yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You recognize why? How Can Positive Parenting Encourage Personal Development?

Since we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, exactly how to deal with conflict, and also even just how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everybody around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we desire, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some readers might be curious about my partner, Antonio, and also his 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage. With time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively as well, as well as the repair of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.

How can you evolve to be a positive parent? How Can Positive Parenting Encourage Personal Development?

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be challenging to transform your old ways. However gradually, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or more from now, you will not believe how much you’ve transformed, in addition to the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I suggest anyone who is serious about coming to be a much more positive mother or daddy to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. How Can Positive Parenting Encourage Personal Development?

You have actually probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media channels. Her materials have been life-altering for more than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can absolutely apply every day.

In her totally free class, Amy shares just how to help kids of any age to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, and find out how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the cost-free class by clicking the button shown below. How Can Positive Parenting Encourage Personal Development?


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