How Do You Handle A Disruptive Child In Daycare – Just How I Applied Positive Parenting to Once And For All Get My Kids to Listen

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How Do You Handle A Disruptive Child In Daycare
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first became a mom, I knew that I intended to do things differently than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the best job they could, but they really did not have access to the plethora of positive parenting tools offered today. How Do You Handle A Disruptive Child In Daycare

There were a couple of books on our shelf regarding taking care of power struggles, how to discipline the stubborn child, and how to get your kids to obey. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I definitely remember thinking at the time, “My mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m not sure just what they learned in those books, however I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a great deal of yelling, as well as a lot of just plain tempers raging.

It was a hard period of time. And also our connection is still strained today, although I have truly forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to realize that, while no one is perfect, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I intended to stop the cycle when I came to be a mommy.How Do You Handle A Disruptive Child In Daycare

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my plan How Do You Handle A Disruptive Child In Daycare

My own experience with positive parenting started when my first child was born. I started reading material regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, screaming, harsh punishments and pretty much every other generally approved parenting method.

I began to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I realize there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable every person to get their needs fulfilled. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Dealing with power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how all of these ideas lead to healthy child development How Do You Handle A Disruptive Child In Daycare

How Do You Handle A Disruptive Child In Daycare

Along the way, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different perspective. He had two teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually observed firsthand just how being the “mean dad” might seem to help temporarily. Long-term, it was only fostering disrespect, anger and bitterness in what was meant to be a caring parent-child partnership.

Considering his background as well as finding out precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying and also implementing positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyway? How Do You Handle A Disruptive Child In Daycare

Initially, let me inform you what it does not mean. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Disregarding major misbehavior

• Providing your children whatever they want How Do You Handle A Disruptive Child In Daycare

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will be expected of them in “the real world”

• Having no limitations

You may see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique recognizes the truth that collaboration consistently produces much better long-term results than forced control.

Parents who embrace this concept have actually learned to foster:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Establishing healthy boundaries

• Building a child’s foundational character and morals

Encouraging children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they fear retribution if they don’t … Besides, what happens once they’re adults and the threat of punishment is over?

• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be heard as well as valued

• Helping kids to grow their self-restraint

• Going deeper than mere outside compliance and also concentrating on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first began on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not picture that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and shouting. That’s exactly how I was parented, and therefore I just had no understanding about anything different. How Do You Handle A Disruptive Child In Daycare

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.

Right here are a number of the strategies Amy teaches to assist you to become the mom or father you’ve always wanted to be, and encourage your child to reach his/her full potential.

Find the root of the misbehavior

I told you this is deep. It’s typically simpler (and also more usual in today’s society) to presume children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.

We can get a lot more toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs much like you as well as me. And many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. How Do You Handle A Disruptive Child In Daycare

A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-discipline) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from happy one minute to major tantrum the next. Instead of fighting a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-control to begin with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that means there is always a main feeling underneath it

• Most angry children are in fact scared and/or sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that need to be met first. For example, if a child is hungry or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Concentrate on addressing that big need first.

• Empathize with his feelings without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely mad due to the fact that I said we could not go to the park today. I recognize it’s tough because you truly wish to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, so I will not let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if necessary.

• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a large hug and also say “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into clenched fists and growl. The point is to enable him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you earlier that positive parenting helps any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and also everyone in between. So let’s use teenagers in our following example … How Do You Handle A Disruptive Child In Daycare

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we intend to receive from our child, we need to agree to provide first. If I am disrespectful, controlling as well as sarcastic to my teenager simply because I “have every right since I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you believe that reveals to my child?

It is a lot easier to provide respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mother or daddy, you can set the example and communicate to your young adult that you value their point of view, and also you respect them as a person. How Do You Handle A Disruptive Child In Daycare

This does not indicate you have to be a pushover. However it does suggest you can be kind despite conflict. It will certainly accomplish more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.

In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we desire our young adult to treat us with more respect, the very first step is to ensure that you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. How Do You Handle A Disruptive Child In Daycare

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer support rep on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be considering. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this one with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share a personal recollection …

Just recently, my 2 young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, and also she stated she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned and also returned the swiped sticker label, said sorry as well as asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and also started playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or manipulate anybody to settle the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You know why? How Do You Handle A Disruptive Child In Daycare

Since we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, how to fix disputes, as well as even how to say sorry. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will certainly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with every person around us with respect, and also model the actions we desire, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some visitors might be curious about my other half, Antonio, and his 2 teen sons from a previous marriage. With time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively too, and also the repair of their relationship is nothing short of miraculous.

So how can you evolve to be a positive parent? How Do You Handle A Disruptive Child In Daycare

This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever before done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be challenging to change your old ways. But gradually, you will certainly make improvements. And also a year or more from now, you will not believe just how much you’ve transformed, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I advise anybody that is serious about becoming an extra positive mommy or daddy to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. How Do You Handle A Disruptive Child In Daycare

You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.

In her cost-free webinar, Amy shares just how to help kids of every age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, and also find out how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the free class by clicking the button shown below. How Do You Handle A Disruptive Child In Daycare


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