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When I first became a mom, I understood that I intended to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mother and father did the best job they could, yet they didn’t have access to the huge selection of positive parenting tools readily available today. How Do You Teach A 1 Year Old Not To Hit
There were a few books on our bookshelf concerning managing power struggles, just how to discipline the stubborn child, and how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”
I’m unsure just what they found out in those books, yet I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of screaming, and also a great deal of just plain tempers raging.
It was a tough period of time. And our relationship is still strained today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve begun to realize that, while no one is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to stop the cycle when I came to be a mother.How Do You Teach A 1 Year Old Not To Hit
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my strategy How Do You Teach A 1 Year Old Not To Hit
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my first child was born. I began reading blogs regarding how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, shouting, harsh punishments as well as basically every other commonly approved parenting technique.
I began to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I realize there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to get their needs fulfilled. I learned more about:
• Resolving power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how all of these concepts lead to healthy child development How Do You Teach A 1 Year Old Not To Hit
In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought his own unique point of view. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually seen firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” could seem to work temporarily. But long-term, it was only breeding disrespect, contempt and bitterness in what was supposed to be a caring parent-child connection.
Considering his history and also discovering specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching and also employing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyway? How Do You Teach A 1 Year Old Not To Hit
Let me tell you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Ignoring significant wrongdoing
• Offering your children every little thing they ask for How Do You Teach A 1 Year Old Not To Hit
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “the real world”
• Having no limitations
You might hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach acknowledges the reality that collaboration consistently yields much better lasting outcomes than strict control.
Moms and dads who embrace this design have actually figured out how to foster:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced limits
• Developing a child’s fundamental character and morals
• Assisting children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they are afraid of punishment if they do not … Besides, what happens when they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be listened to and also valued
• Assisting kids to develop self-discipline
• Going deeper than simple exterior compliance and also focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially started down the path of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were various other means to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also yelling. That’s exactly how I was raised, and I obviously had no framework for anything different. How Do You Teach A 1 Year Old Not To Hit
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has worked as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online course.
Discover the root of the misbehavior
I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s frequently simpler (and also more usual in today’s society) to think children are simply spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.
Yet we can get a whole lot more toward addressing power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs similar to you and also me. And most times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. How Do You Teach A 1 Year Old Not To Hit
A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-control) is not yet matured. That implies they can go from cloud nine one moment to major tantrum the next. Rather than battling a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Young children have little self-discipline to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that suggests there is always a primary emotion below it
• A lot of upset children are actually scared and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any basic needs that have to be addressed first. As an example, if a child is hungry or exhausted, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Concentrate on addressing that big need initially.
• Validate his emotions without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re truly angry due to the fact that I said we could not go to the park today. I understand it’s difficult because you really really want to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, and I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if necessary.
• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the circumstance worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a large hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The goal is to permit him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I told you earlier that positive parenting works for all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everyone in between. So let’s think about teens in our next example … How Do You Teach A 1 Year Old Not To Hit
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we wish to obtain from our child, we must be willing to offer first. If I am rude, manipulative and also sarcastic to my teen simply since I “have every right since I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you believe that reveals to my child?
It is a lot easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mama or father, you can set the example and also communicate to your teen that you value their point of view, and you value them as a person. How Do You Teach A 1 Year Old Not To Hit
This does not indicate you have to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will certainly accomplish more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we desire our young adult to treat us with even more respect, the initial step is to make certain that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. How Do You Teach A 1 Year Old Not To Hit
Are you kind to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer service associate on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking of. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this question with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …
Just a few days ago, my two young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, as well as she said she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned and returned the swiped sticker label, apologized and also asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and also begun playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or manipulate any individual to settle the dispute. And yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You know why? How Do You Teach A 1 Year Old Not To Hit
Because we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, exactly how to deal with conflict, and also even how to apologize. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everyone around us with respect, and model the behavior we want, you would certainly be amazed at what’s possible.
Some visitors may be wondering about my partner, Antonio, as well as his two teenage boys from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively too, and the restoration of their connection is nothing short of miraculous.
So just how can you evolve to be a positive parent? How Do You Teach A 1 Year Old Not To Hit
This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most fulfilling things I have actually ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to transform your old parenting style. Little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or two from now, you won’t think how much you’ve changed, in addition to the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I suggest any individual who is serious about becoming an extra positive mom or father to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. How Do You Teach A 1 Year Old Not To Hit
You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media channels. Her products have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.
In her free class, Amy shares how to help kids of every age to listen WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, and also learn how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the free class by clicking the button below. How Do You Teach A 1 Year Old Not To Hit
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.