Please note: This post contains affiliate links.
When I initially became a mom, I knew that I wished to do things in a different way than how I was parented. My mother and father did the best they could, yet they really did not have accessibility to the wide variety of positive parenting tools available today. How Long Does A Baby Use A Highchair
There were a few books on our bookshelf regarding taking care of power struggles, exactly how to control the strong-willed child, and also exactly how to get your kids to obey. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”
I’m unsure exactly what they found out in those books, however I experienced a great deal of spanking, a lot of screaming, as well as a lot of just plain blowing up.
It was a hard period of time. And our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually come to understand that, while no one is perfect, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wanted to break the cycle when I became a mommy.How Long Does A Baby Use A Highchair
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach How Long Does A Baby Use A Highchair
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest little girl was born. I started checking out blogs regarding how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, shouting, harsh punishments as well as virtually every other generally approved parenting method.
I began to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I realize there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to get their needs fulfilled. I discovered:
• Handling power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how all of these concepts bring about healthy child development How Long Does A Baby Use A Highchair
Along the way, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. But he brought a different point of view. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had seen firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” might appear to work for the moment. In the long run, it was just breeding disrespect, anger as well as bitterness in what was intended to be a loving parent-child partnership.
Given his background and learning specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching and also applying positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? How Long Does A Baby Use A Highchair
Let me tell you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Disregarding major misbehavior
• Providing your children whatever they want How Long Does A Baby Use A Highchair
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”
• Having no limits
You may hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique recognizes the truth that cooperation consistently generates far better long-term outcomes than forced control.
Moms and dads that embrace this design have actually figured out how to cultivate:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Setting healthy and balanced limits
• Developing a child’s foundational character qualities
• Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they fear punishment if they don’t … After all, what happens when they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is over?
• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be heard and valued
• Helping kids to develop self-discipline
• Going deeper than simple external conformity and also focusing on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first began down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t believe that there were various other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as shouting. That’s exactly how I was raised, and I obviously had no framework for anything different. How Long Does A Baby Use A Highchair
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.
Get to the root of the acting out
I told you this is deep. It’s typically much easier (as well as much more typical in today’s world) to presume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
We can get a lot further toward addressing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs just like you and me. And also most times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. How Long Does A Baby Use A Highchair
For instance, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-control) is not yet matured. That indicates they can go from joyful one minute to complete meltdown the next. Instead of dealing with a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-restraint to start with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that suggests there is typically a main emotion beneath it
• Most angry children are really frightened and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that should be met initially. For example, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Focus on meeting that huge need initially.
• Acknowledge his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely angry because I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s difficult due to the fact that you really really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I will not let you do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if required.
• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and say loudly “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into clenched fists and growl. The intent is to permit him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.
Bear In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting works for any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens as well as everything in between. So let’s think about teens in our next example … How Long Does A Baby Use A Highchair
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we desire to obtain from our child, we need to be prepared to give. If I am disrespectful, manipulative and also sarcastic to my teen merely since I “have every right since I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you think that teaches my child?
It is much easier to offer respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mommy or dad, you can set the example and also show your young adult that you value their viewpoint, and you appreciate them as an individual. How Long Does A Baby Use A Highchair
This does not imply you have to be a pushover. However it does mean you can be kind when faced with disputes. It will accomplish more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we want our teen to treat us with even more regard, the primary step is to make certain that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. How Long Does A Baby Use A Highchair
Are you gentle to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer care representative on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can address this with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share an individual story …
Just a few days ago, my two young girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, and also she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, after that returned as well as returned the swiped sticker label, said sorry as well as asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and also started playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or manipulate anyone to resolve the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You know why? How Long Does A Baby Use A Highchair
Due to the fact that we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, how to deal with conflict, and also even exactly how to say sorry. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat every person around us with respect, and also model the habits we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some readers might be wondering about my partner, Antonio, and also his two adolescent boys from a previous marriage. With time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively as well, and also the repair of their connection is nothing except a miracle.
So exactly how can you come to be a positive parent? How Long Does A Baby Use A Highchair
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I have actually ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be hard to transform your old way of life. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or 2 from now, you won’t believe how much you’ve altered, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I suggest anybody who is serious about coming to be an extra positive mother or father to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. How Long Does A Baby Use A Highchair
You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media channels. Her materials have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely use every day.
In her complimentary class, Amy shares exactly how to help kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and also find out how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the cost-free class by clicking the button shown below. How Long Does A Baby Use A Highchair
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.