How Much Of A Picky Eater Am I – Exactly How I Applied Positive Parenting to Once And For All Get My Kids to Behave

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How Much Of A Picky Eater Am I
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first became a mama, I knew that I wanted to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the best they could, but they didn’t have accessibility to the myriad of positive parenting tools offered today. How Much Of A Picky Eater Am I

There were a couple of books on our shelf regarding taking care of power struggles, just how to deal with the strong-willed child, and also exactly how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My parents don’t understand me.”

I’m uncertain just what they found out in those books, however I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of screaming, and a great deal of just plain losing control.

It was a difficult period of time. And our connection is still strained today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve come to understand that, while nobody is without fault, it is our responsibility to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wished to break the cycle when I came to be a mommy.How Much Of A Picky Eater Am I

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer How Much Of A Picky Eater Am I

My very own experience with positive parenting began when my first daughter was born. I started reading blogs regarding just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed with spanking, shouting, severe punishments and pretty much every other traditionally approved parenting technique.

I started to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I know there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable everybody to have their needs satisfied. I discovered:

• Problem-solving

• Resolving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how every one of these concepts bring about healthy child development How Much Of A Picky Eater Am I

How Much Of A Picky Eater Am I

During my learning experience, my husband Antonio joined my journey. However he brought a different perspective. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and had actually observed firsthand how being the “mean father” may seem to benefit temporarily. Long-term, it was just promoting disrespect, contempt and also bitterness in what was supposed to be a caring parent-child relationship.

Given his background and learning specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching and also following through with positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? How Much Of A Picky Eater Am I

Let me tell you what it doesn’t suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Overlooking significant misbehavior

• Offering your children whatever they want How Much Of A Picky Eater Am I

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will be expected of them in “real life”

• Having no limitations

You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method identifies the reality that cooperation always yields much better lasting outcomes than forced control.

Moms and dads who adopt this concept have actually figured out how to cultivate:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Establishing healthy limits

• Building a child’s fundamental character and morals

Assisting children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not because they are afraid of punishment if they do not … Besides, what happens when they’re adults and the threat of punishment is over?

• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be heard and valued

• Encouraging kids to establish self-restraint

• Going much deeper than plain external conformity as well as focusing on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially started down the road of gentle parenting, I could not visualize that there were various other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also shouting. That’s how I was parented, and I just had no understanding about anything different. How Much Of A Picky Eater Am I

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and also creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually acted as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.

Right here are a number of the techniques Amy teaches to encourage you to come to be the mommy or father you’ve always intended to be, as well as help your child to reach his or her highest potential.

Find the root of the behavior

I told you this is deep stuff. It’s typically much easier (as well as much more common in today’s world) to presume children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.

We can progress a great deal farther towards resolving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They real needs similar to you as well as me. As well as often times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development spectrum. How Much Of A Picky Eater Am I

A toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-restraint) is not yet matured. That means they can go from happy one minute to complete meltdown the next. So instead of battling a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Toddlers have little self-restraint to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is always a main feeling below it

• Most angry children are really scared and/or very sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that must be addressed first. For instance, if a child is starving or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Focus on meeting that large need first.

• Validate his emotions without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re sincerely mad because I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I understand it’s hard since you truly wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I won’t allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if necessary.

• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a huge hug and also say loudly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands into fists and also growl. The goal is to allow him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting helps all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everyone in between. So let’s talk about teenagers in our next scenario … How Much Of A Picky Eater Am I

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we intend to get from our child, we need to be willing to give first. If I am discourteous, manipulative as well as sarcastic to my teenager simply due to the fact that I “have every right because I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you think that teaches my child?

It is much easier to offer respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mother or daddy, you can set the example as well as communicate to your teenager that you value their point of view, as well as you appreciate them as an individual. How Much Of A Picky Eater Am I

This doesn’t suggest you need to be a pushover. It does mean you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish a lot more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.

In a comparable way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we want our young adult to treat us with more respect, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to everybody in your life. How Much Of A Picky Eater Am I

Are you kind to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer support associate on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this question with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share a personal recollection …

Just recently, my two daughters were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, as well as she stated she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned and returned the swiped sticker label, said sorry and also requested forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and also started playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate anybody to deal with the conflict. And yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You recognize why? How Much Of A Picky Eater Am I

Since we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, exactly how to deal with disputes, and even exactly how to say sorry. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everybody around us with respect, and also model the habits we want, you would be astonished at what’s possible.

Some visitors may be wondering about my spouse, Antonio, as well as his 2 teen boys from a previous relationship. In time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively also, as well as the repair of their connection is nothing except a miracle.

How can you come to be a positive parent? How Much Of A Picky Eater Am I

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I’ve ever before done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be challenging to alter your old ways. But little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or 2 from now, you won’t believe just how much you have actually altered, together with the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I advise anybody that is serious about growing to be a more positive mom or daddy to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. How Much Of A Picky Eater Am I

You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media networks. Her products have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely use every day.

In her totally free webinar, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, and also learn how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the complimentary class by clicking the button shown below. How Much Of A Picky Eater Am I


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