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When I initially came to be a mom, I knew that I wished to do things in different ways than how I was parented. My mom and dad did the very best they could, but they really did not have accessibility to the variety of positive parenting tools available today. How To Control The Kids TV And iPad With Family Sharing
There were a few books on our shelf about dealing with power struggles, how to deal with the stubborn child, and exactly how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”
I’m uncertain what exactly they found out in those books, but I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of screaming, and also a lot of just plain tempers raging.
It was a hard period of time. And our relationship is still not the best today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve begun to realize that, while no one is without fault, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to break the cycle when I became a mom.How To Control The Kids TV And iPad With Family Sharing
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my solution How To Control The Kids TV And iPad With Family Sharing
My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I began checking out articles regarding just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, yelling, extreme punishments as well as pretty much every other typically approved parenting method.
I started to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I realize there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to get their needs satisfied. I learned about:
• Resolving power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how every one of these concepts lead to healthy and balanced child development How To Control The Kids TV And iPad With Family Sharing
Along the way, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. However he brought a different point of view. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and had observed firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” may appear to work for the moment. Long-term, it was just fostering disrespect, contempt as well as bitterness in what was intended to be a loving parent-child connection.
Given his background and finding out exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying as well as employing positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting mean anyhow? How To Control The Kids TV And iPad With Family Sharing
Initially, let me tell you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a passive parent
• Overlooking significant wrongdoing
• Providing your children whatever they ask for How To Control The Kids TV And iPad With Family Sharing
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”
• Having no limits
You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach recognizes the truth that cooperation always produces far better lasting results than forced control.
Moms and dads that embrace this concept have actually figured out how to cultivate:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)
• Setting healthy limits
• Building a child’s fundamental character qualities
• Assisting children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of punishment if they don’t … After all, what takes place as soon as they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be listened to as well as valued
• Helping kids to grow their self-discipline
• Going much deeper than mere outward compliance and also concentrating on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first started down the road of gentle parenting, I could not imagine that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and also screaming. That’s how I was parented, and I just had no understanding about anything different. How To Control The Kids TV And iPad With Family Sharing
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has worked as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.
Discover the root of the behavior
I told you this is deep. It’s often much easier (and also extra typical in today’s world) to presume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
Yet we can progress a lot further toward addressing power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs similar to you as well as me. And also many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. How To Control The Kids TV And iPad With Family Sharing
A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-discipline) is not yet matured. That indicates they can go from happy one minute to complete tantrum the next. Rather than battling a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Young children have little self-restraint to start with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is always a main feeling beneath it
• Most upset children are in fact scared and/or sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any basic needs that must be met first. For instance, if a child is hungry or tired, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Concentrate on addressing that large need initially.
• Acknowledge his emotions without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely upset because I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I understand it’s hard due to the fact that you genuinely wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if required.
• Concentrating more on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a large hug and also say loudly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The intent is to permit him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting helps any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everyone in between. So let’s use young adults in our next scenario … How To Control The Kids TV And iPad With Family Sharing
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we want to get from our child, we need to be willing to give. If I am discourteous, controlling as well as sarcastic to my teen just because I “have every right since I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?
It is a lot easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or father, you can set the example and communicate to your young adult that you value their point of view, and you value them as a person. How To Control The Kids TV And iPad With Family Sharing
This does not mean you have to be a pushover. But it does suggest you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will accomplish more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our young adult to treat us with more regard, the initial step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. How To Control The Kids TV And iPad With Family Sharing
Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer support rep on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking about. Bear in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can answer this one with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share an individual recollection …
Just a few days ago, my 2 young girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, and also she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned and also returned the stolen sticker label, apologized as well as asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and started playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or intimidate any person to settle the conflict. And yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You know why? How To Control The Kids TV And iPad With Family Sharing
Because we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to solve disputes, as well as even exactly how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with every person around us with respect, and also model the actions we desire, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some readers could be curious about my spouse, Antonio, as well as his two adolescent sons from a previous marriage. Gradually, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively too, and also the restoration of their connection is nothing except miraculous.
So just how can you become a positive parent? How To Control The Kids TV And iPad With Family Sharing
This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to change your old way of life. Yet little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or two from now, you will not think just how much you have actually changed, along with the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I suggest anybody who is serious about coming to be an extra positive mother or dad to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. How To Control The Kids TV And iPad With Family Sharing
You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media networks. Her products have been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents around the world, as well as there’s no better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.
In her cost-free class, Amy shares just how to get kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, and learn how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the free webinar by clicking the button shown below. How To Control The Kids TV And iPad With Family Sharing
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.