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When I initially became a mama, I knew that I intended to do things differently than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the best job they could, however they really did not have accessibility to the variety of positive parenting tools available today. How To Deal With A Whiny 2 Year Old
There were a few books on our bookshelf about taking care of power struggles, just how to control the stubborn child, and also just how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”
I’m not exactly sure exactly what they discovered in those books, but I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of yelling, and a lot of just plain blowing up.
It was a challenging period of time. And also our relationship is still not the best today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually begun to recognize that, while nobody is perfect, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I intended to break the cycle when I became a mother.How To Deal With A Whiny 2 Year Old
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach How To Deal With A Whiny 2 Year Old
My own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest child was born. I started reading articles regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, yelling, extreme punishments as well as pretty much every other typically approved parenting method.
I started to believe, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I know there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to get their needs fulfilled. I discovered:
• Managing power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How all of these principles bring about healthy child development How To Deal With A Whiny 2 Year Old
Along the way, my other half Antonio joined my journey. However he brought a different perspective. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship, and also had observed firsthand just how being the “mean dad” could appear to benefit for the moment. Long-term, it was just fostering disrespect, anger and also resentment in what was intended to be a loving parent-child connection.
Given his background as well as finding out precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching and also following through with positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyway? How To Deal With A Whiny 2 Year Old
Initially, let me inform you what it does not indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids do whatever they want
• Being a passive parent
• Overlooking significant misbehavior
• Giving your children whatever they ask for How To Deal With A Whiny 2 Year Old
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no limits
You may hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique identifies the truth that collaboration consistently produces much better lasting results than harsh control.
Parents who adopt this design have actually figured out how to promote:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)
• Setting healthy limits
• Building a child’s fundamental character traits
• Assisting children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they fear punishment if they don’t … After all, what occurs when they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is removed?
• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be listened to and also valued
• Encouraging kids to grow their self-control
• Going deeper than mere outside compliance and concentrating on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially started down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t envision that there were other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and yelling. That’s just how I was parented, and I obviously had no framework for anything different. How To Deal With A Whiny 2 Year Old
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually served as parenting guide to countless moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.
Identify the root of the behavior
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s often easier (and extra typical in today’s society) to think children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
We can progress a whole lot further toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs much like you and me. As well as often times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. How To Deal With A Whiny 2 Year Old
A toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-control) is not yet formed. That implies they can go from delighted one minute to major tantrum the next. So rather than dealing with a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-discipline to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is typically a main feeling beneath it
• Most upset children are actually anxious and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any basic needs that have to be addressed initially. As an example, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Concentrate on addressing that huge need first.
• Validate his emotions without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re really upset due to the fact that I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I understand it’s difficult because you genuinely wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to safeguard yourself if required.
• Concentrating more on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands into fists and growl. The goal is to enable him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting benefits every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everyone in between. So let’s talk about young adults in our next example … How To Deal With A Whiny 2 Year Old
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we want to get from our child, we have to be ready to offer. If I am disrespectful, controlling and also sarcastic to my teen just since I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you believe that communicates to my child?
It is a lot easier to give respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mama or father, you can set the example as well as show your young adult that you value their point of view, as well as you appreciate them as an individual. How To Deal With A Whiny 2 Year Old
This doesn’t suggest you need to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will accomplish a lot more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we desire our young adult to treat us with even more regard, the primary step is to ensure that you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. How To Deal With A Whiny 2 Year Old
Are you gentle to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer care representative on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be considering. Bear in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this question with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …
Just the other day, my two girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, and also she said she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back and also returned the swiped sticker, apologized as well as asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and also begun playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or threaten any person to fix the problem. And yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You know why? How To Deal With A Whiny 2 Year Old
Because we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, exactly how to settle disputes, as well as even how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everyone around us with respect, as well as model the actions we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s possible.
Some visitors might be curious about my spouse, Antonio, and also his two teen sons from a previous marriage. Gradually, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively also, and also the restoration of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.
So how can you become a positive parent? How To Deal With A Whiny 2 Year Old
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most fulfilling things I have actually ever before done. I won’t lie to you – it can be challenging to alter your old ways. Little by little, you will make improvements. And a year or more from now, you will not believe how much you’ve changed, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.
I advise any individual that is serious about becoming an extra positive mommy or dad to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. How To Deal With A Whiny 2 Year Old
You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any number of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-altering for more than 75,000 parents around the world, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely apply every day.
In her complimentary class, Amy shares just how to get kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, as well as learn how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the free class by clicking the button shown below. How To Deal With A Whiny 2 Year Old
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