How To Deal With Whining 8 Year Old – Exactly How I Applied Positive Parenting to Ultimately Get My Kids to Behave

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How To Deal With Whining 8 Year Old
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially became a mother, I understood that I wanted to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the best they could, yet they really did not have accessibility to the wide variety of positive parenting tools available today. How To Deal With Whining 8 Year Old

There were a couple of books on our shelf concerning taking care of power struggles, just how to control the stubborn child, as well as exactly how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I definitely remember thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m unsure just what they learned in those books, but I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of yelling, and also a great deal of just plain blowing up.

It was a difficult number of years. And our connection is still strained today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually come to realize that, while no person is without flaws, it is our responsibility to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to break the cycle when I came to be a mama.How To Deal With Whining 8 Year Old

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer How To Deal With Whining 8 Year Old

My very own experience with positive parenting started when my first little girl was born. I began reading material concerning how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, screaming, harsh punishments and also pretty much every other typically accepted parenting technique.

I started to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable every person to get their needs met. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Solving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How every one of these principles cause healthy and balanced child development How To Deal With Whining 8 Year Old

How To Deal With Whining 8 Year Old

During my learning experience, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different point of view. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually witnessed firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” could seem to help temporarily. In the long run, it was just breeding disrespect, contempt and resentment in what was expected to be a loving parent-child relationship.

Given his history as well as finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching and also implementing positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? How To Deal With Whining 8 Year Old

Let me inform you what it doesn’t imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a lazy parent

• Disregarding major wrongdoing

• Giving your children everything they ask for How To Deal With Whining 8 Year Old

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “real life”

• Having no limits

You might hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting method acknowledges the reality that collaboration consistently generates much better lasting results than harsh control.

Parents who adopt this design have learned to cultivate:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Establishing healthy limits

• Developing a child’s fundamental character traits

Helping children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they fear retribution if they don’t … After all, what occurs as soon as they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is over?

• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be listened to as well as valued

• Helping kids to establish self-control

• Going much deeper than simple exterior compliance as well as concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially began down the path of gentle parenting, I could not envision that there were other means to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as shouting. That’s exactly how I was parented, and therefore I simply had no framework for anything different. How To Deal With Whining 8 Year Old

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually worked as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.

Below are a number of the methods Amy shares to encourage you to become the mama or dad you’ve always intended to be, and also encourage your child to reach his/her highest potential.

Identify the root of the behavior

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s typically simpler (as well as a lot more common in today’s world) to think children are just spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

We can progress a great deal more toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs similar to you and also me. And also often times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and language development spectrum. How To Deal With Whining 8 Year Old

For example, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-restraint) is not yet formed. That implies they can go from cloud nine one moment to major tantrum the next. Instead of dealing with a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-discipline to begin with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is always a primary feeling underneath it

• Most angry children are really scared and/or very sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any basic needs that have to be met initially. For example, if a child is hungry or exhausted, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Focus on meeting that big need first.

• Acknowledge his emotions without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re truly mad because I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I recognize it’s hard because you truly really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I will not let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if needed.

• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a large hug and say loudly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into clenched fists and growl. The goal is to enable him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you earlier that positive parenting benefits any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everything in between. So let’s use teens in our next example … How To Deal With Whining 8 Year Old

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we want to get from our child, we should agree to provide before anyone else. If I am discourteous, manipulative and sarcastic to my teenager merely since I “have every right since I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?

It is a lot easier to provide respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mommy or dad, you can set the example as well as communicate to your young adult that you value their viewpoint, and also you appreciate them as a person. How To Deal With Whining 8 Year Old

This doesn’t suggest you have to be a pushover. It does indicate you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will certainly accomplish more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.

In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we desire our teenager to treat us with even more respect, the initial step is to make certain that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. How To Deal With Whining 8 Year Old

Are you gentle to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and also to the customer support representative on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be considering. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can answer this with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …

Just the other day, my two young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and also she claimed she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned and also returned the swiped sticker, apologized and also asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and also begun playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate any individual to solve the dispute. As well as yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You know why? How To Deal With Whining 8 Year Old

Because we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, exactly how to deal with conflict, and also even just how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat every person around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we want, you would be astonished at what’s possible.

Some readers may be wondering about my husband, Antonio, and also his 2 teenage sons from a previous relationship. In time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively also, and also the repair of their relationship is nothing except a miracle.

So how can you evolve to be a positive parent? How To Deal With Whining 8 Year Old

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I have actually ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be hard to alter your old ways. Little by little, you will make improvements. And also a year or more from now, you won’t believe just how much you have actually altered, along with the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I recommend anyone that is serious about becoming an extra positive mama or father to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. How To Deal With Whining 8 Year Old

You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media channels. Her materials have been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents around the world, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can genuinely use every day.

In her cost-free class, Amy shares just how to get kids of every age to listen WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and also discover how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the totally free webinar by clicking the button below. How To Deal With Whining 8 Year Old


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