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When I initially came to be a mom, I recognized that I wished to do things differently than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the very best they could, however they didn’t have accessibility to the myriad of positive parenting tools available today. How To Discipline A 19 Month Old
There were a few books on our bookshelf regarding dealing with power struggles, exactly how to control the strong-willed child, and also how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”
I’m unsure just what they learned in those books, however I experienced a lot of spanking, a lot of yelling, and also a great deal of just plain blowing up.
It was a tough number of years. And our connection is still strained today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for what happened. I’ve begun to realize that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I intended to break the cycle when I came to be a mom.How To Discipline A 19 Month Old
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my strategy How To Discipline A 19 Month Old
My own experience with positive parenting began when my first little girl was born. I started reviewing material concerning just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, yelling, severe punishments and basically every other generally approved parenting technique.
I started to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I know there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to get their needs satisfied. I discovered:
• Dealing with power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how every one of these ideas cause healthy child development How To Discipline A 19 Month Old
Along the way, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique perspective. He had two teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually seen firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” could seem to benefit for the moment. In the long run, it was just fostering disrespect, anger and also resentment in what was expected to be a loving parent-child relationship.
Considering his history as well as discovering precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining and following through with positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? How To Discipline A 19 Month Old
First, let me inform you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids run wild
• Being a lazy parent
• Disregarding significant wrongdoing
• Giving your children everything they ask for How To Discipline A 19 Month Old
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no boundaries
You may see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the fact that cooperation consistently yields far better long-lasting outcomes than strict control.
Parents that adopt this concept have actually learned to cultivate:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)
• Setting healthy and balanced boundaries
• Building a child’s foundational character traits
• Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of punishment if they do not … After all, what takes place as soon as they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be heard and valued
• Helping kids to develop self-control
• Going much deeper than plain exterior conformity and also focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first began down the road of gentle parenting, I could not picture that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as shouting. That’s how I was parented, and therefore I just had no understanding about anything different. How To Discipline A 19 Month Old
I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.
Get to the root of the behavior
I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s usually widely accepted (and extra typical in today’s world) to presume children are simply spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.
Yet we can progress a great deal further toward addressing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They real needs just like you and also me. And many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. How To Discipline A 19 Month Old
For example, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-control) is not yet formed. That means they can go from happy one moment to complete meltdown the next. Rather than fighting a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Toddlers have little self-control to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is always a main feeling beneath it
• Many angry children are really scared and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that have to be addressed initially. As an example, if a child is starving or exhausted, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Focus on meeting that large need initially.
• Empathize with his emotions without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re truly upset due to the fact that I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I recognize it’s tough because you really wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if required.
• Focusing more on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a large hug and also say firmly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and growl. The objective is to permit him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting benefits all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and also everyone in between. So let’s talk about teenagers in our next scenario … How To Discipline A 19 Month Old
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we intend to get from our child, we have to want to offer first. If I am impolite, manipulative as well as sarcastic to my young adult simply because I “have every right since I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?
It is a lot easier to offer respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mama or daddy, you can set the example and also communicate to your teenager that you value their point of view, and also you value them as a person. How To Discipline A 19 Month Old
This doesn’t imply you have to be a pushover. Yet it does mean you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we desire our young adult to treat us with even more respect, the very first step is to make sure that you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. How To Discipline A 19 Month Old
Are you kind to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer support rep on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking of. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can answer this question with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share an individual story …
Just the other day, my two girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, and also she said she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned and also returned the stolen sticker, apologized and also asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged as well as started playing once again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or threaten any person to deal with the dispute. As well as yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You recognize why? How To Discipline A 19 Month Old
Since we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to resolve conflict, and even how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everyone around us with respect, and also model the actions we desire, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some readers may be wondering about my husband, Antonio, and also his two adolescent boys from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has begun parenting positively as well, and also the repair of their relationship is nothing except miraculous.
How can you become a positive parent? How To Discipline A 19 Month Old
This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I have actually ever done. I will not lie to you – it can be tough to transform your old parenting style. Yet gradually, you will make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you won’t think just how much you’ve transformed, together with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I suggest any individual who is serious about coming to be an extra positive mother or father to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. How To Discipline A 19 Month Old
You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media channels. Her products have been life-altering for more than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly apply every day.
In her cost-free class, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of every age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, and also discover how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the complimentary class by clicking the button below. How To Discipline A 19 Month Old
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