Please note: This post contains affiliate links.
When I first came to be a mother, I knew that I wished to do things differently than how I was parented. My mom and dad did the best job they could, but they didn’t have access to the plethora of positive parenting tools offered today. How To Discipline A 7 Year Old Child
There were a few books on our shelf about taking care of power struggles, how to control the strong-willed child, and also how to get your kids to obey. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I noticeably recall thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”
I’m unsure what exactly they discovered in those books, yet I grew up with a lot of spanking, a lot of shouting, as well as a lot of just plain blowing up.
It was a challenging number of years. And our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for what happened. I have actually come to realize that, while nobody is without fault, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I intended to break the cycle when I came to be a mother.How To Discipline A 7 Year Old Child
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my solution How To Discipline A 7 Year Old Child
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my first little girl was born. I started checking out blogs regarding how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, shouting, extreme punishments and practically every other traditionally approved parenting method.
I began to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I realize there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable every person to get their needs fulfilled. I found out about:
• Dealing with power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how all of these concepts cause healthy and balanced child development How To Discipline A 7 Year Old Child
In the process, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different perspective. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and had observed firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” may appear to help temporarily. But long-term, it was just breeding disrespect, contempt as well as bitterness in what was meant to be a loving parent-child relationship.
Given his background as well as learning precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying as well as employing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? How To Discipline A 7 Year Old Child
First, let me tell you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Overlooking major misbehavior
• Offering your children whatever they want How To Discipline A 7 Year Old Child
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no limitations
You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method acknowledges the fact that cooperation always produces much better long-lasting outcomes than harsh control.
Parents who embrace this design have actually figured out how to cultivate:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced boundaries
• Building a child’s fundamental character and morals
• Helping children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not due to the fact that they fear punishment if they do not … Nevertheless, what takes place when they’re adults and the threat of punishment is over?
• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be listened to and also valued
• Assisting kids to establish self-control
• Going much deeper than simple outward conformity and also concentrating on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first began down the path of gentle parenting, I could not visualize that there were various other methods to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and also yelling. That’s how I was raised, and I obviously had no understanding about anything different. How To Discipline A 7 Year Old Child
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has functioned as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.
Find the root of the misbehavior
I mentioned this is deep. It’s usually easier (and a lot more common in today’s society) to think children are simply spoiled brats, which is why they act out.
We can get a whole lot farther towards fixing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs just like you and me. And many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development spectrum. How To Discipline A 7 Year Old Child
For instance, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-control) is not yet formed. That means they can go from joyful one moment to complete meltdown the next. Instead of dealing with a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-control to start with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is typically a primary emotion beneath it
• Most angry children are actually anxious and/or sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that need to be addressed initially. For example, if a child is starving or exhausted, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Concentrate on meeting that big need first.
• Acknowledge his feelings without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re truly mad because I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I know it’s hard due to the fact that you genuinely wish to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, and I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if needed.
• Focusing too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a large hug and say “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands into clenched fists and also growl. The objective is to permit him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.
Bear In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting works for all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everyone in between. So let’s think about teens in our next scenario … How To Discipline A 7 Year Old Child
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we wish to get from our child, we have to be willing to offer before anyone else. If I am impolite, manipulative as well as sarcastic to my teen just since I “have every right given that I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you believe that reveals to my child?
It is a lot easier to offer respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mama or daddy, you can set the standard as well as communicate to your teen that you value their point of view, and you value them as an individual. How To Discipline A 7 Year Old Child
This doesn’t indicate you have to be a pushover. Yet it does mean you can be kind despite disputes. It will certainly accomplish more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we desire our young adult to treat us with more regard, the very first step is to make certain that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. How To Discipline A 7 Year Old Child
Are you kind to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer support representative on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking about. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this one with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share an individual recollection …
Just the other day, my two young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, as well as she said she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, after that came back and returned the stolen sticker label, apologized and also requested forgiveness.
They made up, embraced as well as started playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate any person to settle the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You recognize why? How To Discipline A 7 Year Old Child
Because we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, exactly how to settle conflict, and also even how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everybody around us with respect, and also model the behavior we want, you would be astonished at what’s possible.
Some visitors could be curious about my spouse, Antonio, and his 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship. Over time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively as well, and also the repair of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.
So exactly how can you come to be a positive parent? How To Discipline A 7 Year Old Child
This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I’ve ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to change your old ways. However gradually, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or more from now, you will not believe how much you’ve transformed, together with the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I advise anybody who is serious about becoming a more positive mama or father to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. How To Discipline A 7 Year Old Child
You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any number of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-altering for more than 75,000 parents across the globe, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really use every day.
In her complimentary webinar, Amy shares just how to get kids of every age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and discover how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the free webinar by clicking the button below. How To Discipline A 7 Year Old Child
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.