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When I first came to be a mom, I recognized that I wished to do things in a different way than how I was parented. My mom and dad did the very best they could, yet they really did not have access to the huge selection of positive parenting tools available today. How To Discipline A Biting Child
There were a few books on our shelf concerning dealing with power struggles, exactly how to deal with the strong-willed child, as well as exactly how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”
I’m unsure exactly what they discovered in those books, however I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of yelling, as well as a lot of just plain blowing up.
It was a difficult period of time. And also our connection is still not the best today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually begun to realize that, while no one is perfect, it is our responsibility to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wished to stop the cycle when I came to be a mommy.How To Discipline A Biting Child
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan How To Discipline A Biting Child
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my first daughter was born. I started reviewing blogs regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, shouting, extreme punishments as well as basically every other traditionally approved parenting method.
I began to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I realize there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to have their needs satisfied. I learned more about:
• Solving power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how all of these ideas cause healthy and balanced child development How To Discipline A Biting Child
In the process, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought a different viewpoint. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and had actually observed firsthand just how being the “mean dad” might seem to benefit temporarily. Long-term, it was only fostering disrespect, contempt as well as resentment in what was expected to be a loving parent-child relationship.
Given his background as well as finding out exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining and applying positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting mean anyway? How To Discipline A Biting Child
Let me inform you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a lazy parent
• Disregarding major misbehavior
• Giving your children whatever they want How To Discipline A Biting Child
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no limitations
You may see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting method recognizes the truth that collaboration consistently generates far better long-term outcomes than harsh control.
Moms and dads that adopt this design have figured out how to foster:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced boundaries
• Developing a child’s fundamental character traits
• Helping children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they fear punishment if they don’t … Nevertheless, what takes place once they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is over?
• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be heard and also valued
• Encouraging kids to establish self-restraint
• Going much deeper than simple outward conformity and also focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first started down the path of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were various other methods to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as shouting. That’s how I was treated as a child, and therefore I obviously had no understanding about anything different. How To Discipline A Biting Child
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually acted as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online course.
Right here are a couple of the techniques Amy reveals to encourage you to evolve into the mother or daddy you have actually always wished to be, as well as encourage your child to reach his/her complete potential.
Find the root of the misbehavior
I mentioned this is deep. It’s frequently simpler (and also a lot more usual in today’s world) to assume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
However we can get a great deal farther towards resolving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs similar to you and me. As well as often times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development spectrum. How To Discipline A Biting Child
For example, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-control) is not yet matured. That indicates they can go from delighted one moment to major meltdown the next. Instead of dealing with a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-discipline to start with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that suggests there is always a primary emotion beneath it
• The majority of angry children are really frightened and/or sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that have to be addressed first. For instance, if a child is hungry or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Concentrate on addressing that big need first.
• Empathize with his emotions without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re really mad because I said we could not play at the park today. I know it’s hard due to the fact that you truly want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to safeguard yourself if necessary.
• Concentrating more on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a large hug and also say firmly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands into clenched fists and growl. The point is to enable him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I told you previously that positive parenting benefits every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and everything in between. So let’s think about teenagers in our next example … How To Discipline A Biting Child
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we want to obtain from our child, we should agree to provide before anyone else. If I am discourteous, controlling as well as sarcastic to my teen simply due to the fact that I “have every right because I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you think that teaches my child?
It is a lot easier to give respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mama or daddy, you can set the example as well as show your teenager that you value their opinion, and also you appreciate them as an individual. How To Discipline A Biting Child
This doesn’t indicate you have to be a pushover. It does suggest you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.
In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we want our teen to treat us with more regard, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. How To Discipline A Biting Child
Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer service representative on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be thinking of. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this question with a resounding “Yes!” Or I could share an individual recollection …
Just the other day, my two girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, and also she claimed she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then came back and also returned the swiped sticker label, apologized as well as requested forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and also begun playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or intimidate any individual to resolve the problem. And yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You recognize why? How To Discipline A Biting Child
Because we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to deal with conflict, and even just how to apologize. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everyone around us with respect, as well as model the actions we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some visitors could be curious about my spouse, Antonio, as well as his two teenage sons from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively also, and the restoration of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.
So just how can you come to be a positive parent? How To Discipline A Biting Child
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I’ve ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be challenging to change your old way of life. Little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or two from now, you will not believe just how much you have actually transformed, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.
I suggest anybody that is serious about coming to be an extra positive mother or father to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. How To Discipline A Biting Child
You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her materials have been life-altering for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, as well as there’s no better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.
In her free class, Amy shares just how to get kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, and also learn how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the totally free webinar by clicking the button below. How To Discipline A Biting Child
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