How To Discipline A Child For Stealing – Just How I Applied Positive Parenting to At Long Last Get My Kids to Behave

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How To Discipline A Child For Stealing
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first came to be a mother, I knew that I wished to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mother and father did the best they could, however they didn’t have accessibility to the plethora of positive parenting tools available today. How To Discipline A Child For Stealing

There were a couple of books on our shelf concerning handling power struggles, just how to deal with the stubborn child, and also exactly how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I noticeably recall thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”

I’m uncertain just what they found out in those books, however I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a great deal of screaming, and also a lot of just plain blowing up.

It was a challenging period of time. And our connection is still not the best today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve come to understand that, while no person is perfect, it is our obligation to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wanted to stop the cycle when I became a mom.How To Discipline A Child For Stealing

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my plan How To Discipline A Child For Stealing

My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest little girl was born. I began reading blog posts about exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, shouting, harsh punishments as well as pretty much every other traditionally approved parenting method.

I started to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to have their needs fulfilled. I discovered:

• Problem-solving

• Resolving power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How every one of these principles lead to healthy child development How To Discipline A Child For Stealing

How To Discipline A Child For Stealing

In the process, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique perspective. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had experienced firsthand how being the “mean dad” may appear to help temporarily. But long-term, it was just fostering disrespect, contempt as well as bitterness in what was expected to be a loving parent-child relationship.

Considering his background and discovering exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching as well as following through with positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyway? How To Discipline A Child For Stealing

Initially, let me tell you what it doesn’t suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids run wild

• Being a lazy parent

• Disregarding major wrongdoing

• Providing your children everything they want How To Discipline A Child For Stealing

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will be expected of them in “real life”

• Having no boundaries

You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach recognizes the fact that cooperation always produces much better long-term results than harsh control.

Moms and dads that embrace this design have learned to foster:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Setting healthy limits

• Developing a child’s fundamental character traits

Assisting children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not because they fear punishment if they don’t … After all, what happens as soon as they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is over?

• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be listened to and valued

• Encouraging kids to grow their self-restraint

• Going much deeper than plain exterior conformity and concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first began down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t visualize that there were various other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and yelling. That’s just how I was parented, and therefore I obviously had no understanding about anything different. How To Discipline A Child For Stealing

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert as well as founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.

Right here are a number of the methods Amy teaches to assist you to evolve into the mom or father you’ve always wanted to be, and also help your child to reach his/her complete potential.

Get to the root of the misbehavior

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s commonly much easier (and more usual in today’s society) to presume children are simply spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

But we can get a lot farther towards fixing power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs much like you and also me. And most times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development spectrum. How To Discipline A Child For Stealing

For example, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-control) is not yet formed. That indicates they can go from cloud nine one moment to complete meltdown the next. So rather than battling a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-control to begin with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is typically a key feeling beneath it

• Most angry children are actually scared and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that need to be addressed initially. For example, if a child is hungry or sleepy, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Concentrate on addressing that huge need first.

• Acknowledge his emotions without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re really upset due to the fact that I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I understand it’s tough because you truly want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if needed.

• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a large hug and also say loudly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The goal is to permit him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting helps all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everything in between. So let’s use teens in our following example … How To Discipline A Child For Stealing

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we wish to receive from our child, we need to be willing to offer before anyone else. If I am discourteous, controlling and sarcastic to my young adult simply since I “have every right given that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you assume that teaches my child?

It is much easier to provide respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mama or daddy, you can set the standard and communicate to your young adult that you value their opinion, and you appreciate them as an individual. How To Discipline A Child For Stealing

This does not suggest you need to be a pushover. It does mean you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.

In a comparable way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we want our young adult to treat us with more respect, the initial step is to make certain that you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. How To Discipline A Child For Stealing

Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer support representative on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking about. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can address this with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share a personal recollection …

Just recently, my 2 daughters were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, and she stated she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, then came back as well as returned the stolen sticker label, apologized and requested forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and started playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate any individual to solve the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You recognize why? How To Discipline A Child For Stealing

Since we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, exactly how to solve conflict, and also even how to say sorry. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everybody around us with respect, and model the behavior we desire, you would certainly be amazed at what’s possible.

Some visitors may be wondering about my hubby, Antonio, as well as his two adolescent sons from a previous relationship. Over time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively too, and also the restoration of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.

So just how can you become a positive parent? How To Discipline A Child For Stealing

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever before done. I won’t lie to you – it can be challenging to transform your old parenting style. But bit by bit, you will make improvements. And also a year or two from now, you won’t think just how much you’ve transformed, along with the closer connection you have with your kids.

I advise anybody that is serious about becoming an extra positive mommy or dad to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. How To Discipline A Child For Stealing

You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media networks. Her materials have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.

In her cost-free class, Amy shares exactly how to help kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, as well as discover how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the cost-free class by clicking the button below. How To Discipline A Child For Stealing


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