How To Discipline A Child That Lies And Steals – How I Chose Positive Parenting to Finally Get My Kids to Listen

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How To Discipline A Child That Lies And Steals
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mom, I recognized that I wanted to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the best they could, but they really did not have access to the huge selection of positive parenting tools offered today. How To Discipline A Child That Lies And Steals

There were a couple of books on our shelf about dealing with power struggles, just how to control the stubborn child, and also just how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I definitely recall thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”

I’m not sure just what they discovered in those books, however I experienced a great deal of spanking, a great deal of screaming, and also a great deal of just plain blowing up.

It was a challenging number of years. And also our connection is still strained today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve begun to recognize that, while nobody is perfect, it is our responsibility to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to break the cycle when I came to be a mother.How To Discipline A Child That Lies And Steals

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan How To Discipline A Child That Lies And Steals

My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest daughter was born. I started checking out material about just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, screaming, extreme punishments and also basically every other traditionally approved parenting method.

I began to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I realize there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable every person to get their needs fulfilled. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Solving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How all of these principles result in healthy child development How To Discipline A Child That Lies And Steals

How To Discipline A Child That Lies And Steals

During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different point of view. He had two teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually seen firsthand how being the “mean dad” might seem to help temporarily. However in the long run, it was just breeding disrespect, anger and bitterness in what was meant to be a loving parent-child relationship.

Given his history and also finding out exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying and following through with positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyway? How To Discipline A Child That Lies And Steals

Let me tell you what it doesn’t imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a lazy parent

• Ignoring significant misbehavior

• Providing your children every little thing they ask for How To Discipline A Child That Lies And Steals

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will be expected of them in “real life”

• Having no limitations

You may see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique identifies the truth that collaboration always produces better long-term results than strict control.

Parents who adopt this design have actually figured out how to cultivate:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Setting healthy and balanced boundaries

• Building a child’s fundamental character and morals

Encouraging children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not because they are afraid of retribution if they do not … Besides, what occurs as soon as they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is over?

• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be listened to and also valued

• Encouraging kids to develop self-control

• Going much deeper than mere exterior compliance and concentrating on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially began on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t picture that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as yelling. That’s exactly how I was raised, and therefore I obviously had no understanding about anything different. How To Discipline A Child That Lies And Steals

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has functioned as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.

Below are a couple of the techniques Amy reveals to encourage you to become the mama or daddy you’ve always intended to be, and encourage your child to reach his/her full potential.

Get to the root of the behavior

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s commonly much easier (and more typical in today’s society) to think children are simply spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.

But we can progress a whole lot more towards fixing power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs much like you and me. As well as most times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. How To Discipline A Child That Lies And Steals

As an example, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-control) is not yet matured. That means they can go from joyful one minute to major meltdown the next. Instead of fighting a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-discipline to begin with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that implies there is typically a primary feeling below it

• A lot of angry children are really anxious and/or very sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any basic needs that must be addressed first. For example, if a child is starving or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Concentrate on addressing that big need initially.

• Acknowledge his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re really angry due to the fact that I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I know it’s hard because you truly really want to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, and also I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if needed.

• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a large hug and also say firmly “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into fists and growl. The goal is to permit him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting benefits every age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and also everything in between. So let’s think about teens in our following example … How To Discipline A Child That Lies And Steals

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we wish to receive from our child, we have to agree to provide first. If I am discourteous, controlling and sarcastic to my teen simply because I “have every right because I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you believe that communicates to my child?

It is much easier to give respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or dad, you can set the example and communicate to your teenager that you value their point of view, and also you appreciate them as a person. How To Discipline A Child That Lies And Steals

This doesn’t suggest you need to be a pushover. But it does mean you can be kind when faced with conflict. It will certainly accomplish more than you expect to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.

In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our young adult to treat us with more respect, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. How To Discipline A Child That Lies And Steals

Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer support rep on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be thinking about. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this question with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …

Just a few days ago, my 2 girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, and she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back and returned the stolen sticker, apologized and also requested forgiveness.

They made up, hugged as well as started playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or threaten anybody to solve the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You know why? How To Discipline A Child That Lies And Steals

Due to the fact that we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, exactly how to settle disputes, as well as even just how to say sorry. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everyone around us with respect, and model the habits we desire, you would certainly be amazed at what’s possible.

Some visitors could be curious about my spouse, Antonio, as well as his 2 teen boys from a previous relationship. In time, Antonio has begun parenting positively as well, and the restoration of their connection is nothing except a miracle.

Just how can you come to be a positive parent? How To Discipline A Child That Lies And Steals

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I’ve ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be difficult to change your old ways. Yet bit by bit, you will make improvements. And also a year or 2 from now, you will not think just how much you’ve altered, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I advise any person that is serious about becoming a much more positive mom or dad to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. How To Discipline A Child That Lies And Steals

You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media channels. Her materials have been life-changing for more than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, as well as there’s no better parenting guidance you can absolutely apply every day.

In her complimentary class, Amy shares how to help kids of every age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and also discover how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the cost-free class by clicking the button below. How To Discipline A Child That Lies And Steals


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