How To Discipline A Child Who Steals And Lies – Exactly How I Chose Positive Parenting to Ultimately Get My Kids to Cooperate

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How To Discipline A Child Who Steals And Lies
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mom, I knew that I intended to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the very best they could, however they really did not have accessibility to the variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. How To Discipline A Child Who Steals And Lies

There were a few books on our shelf regarding managing power struggles, exactly how to discipline the strong-willed child, as well as just how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I definitely recall thinking at the time, “My mom and dad don’t understand me.”

I’m uncertain exactly what they learned in those books, but I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of yelling, as well as a lot of just plain tempers raging.

It was a tough period of time. And also our relationship is still not the best today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually begun to understand that, while no person is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I intended to stop the cycle when I became a mother.How To Discipline A Child Who Steals And Lies

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my strategy How To Discipline A Child Who Steals And Lies

My very own experience with positive parenting began when my first daughter was born. I started reviewing articles concerning exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, shouting, harsh punishments and also pretty much every other generally approved parenting technique.

I started to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I know there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everybody to get their needs fulfilled. I learned about:

• Problem-solving

• Dealing with power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How all of these concepts lead to healthy child development How To Discipline A Child Who Steals And Lies

How To Discipline A Child Who Steals And Lies

Along the way, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different perspective. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and also had observed firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” could seem to benefit temporarily. Yet long-term, it was just fostering disrespect, contempt as well as resentment in what was expected to be a loving parent-child connection.

Considering his history and learning exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying and employing positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? How To Discipline A Child Who Steals And Lies

Initially, let me tell you what it doesn’t imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Overlooking major wrongdoing

• Offering your children everything they ask for How To Discipline A Child Who Steals And Lies

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no limits

You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique identifies the truth that collaboration consistently generates far better lasting results than harsh control.

Parents that embrace this design have learned to promote:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Setting healthy limits

• Building a child’s fundamental character traits

Encouraging children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they are afraid of punishment if they don’t … After all, what takes place when they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is removed?

• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be listened to as well as valued

• Encouraging kids to develop self-restraint

• Going deeper than simple outward compliance and also focusing on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially began on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not visualize that there were various other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and shouting. That’s how I was raised, and therefore I obviously had no framework for anything different. How To Discipline A Child Who Steals And Lies

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and also creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has functioned as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.

Here are a number of the techniques Amy reveals to help you to become the mommy or daddy you’ve always wished to be, as well as help your child to reach his or her complete potential.

Discover the root of the acting out

I told you this is deep. It’s typically widely accepted (as well as much more common in today’s society) to think children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.

However we can get a lot further toward addressing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They real needs just like you as well as me. And also many times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. How To Discipline A Child Who Steals And Lies

A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-discipline) is not yet matured. That implies they can go from delighted one moment to major tantrum the next. So rather than battling a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-discipline to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that implies there is typically a primary emotion underneath it

• The majority of angry children are in fact scared and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any basic needs that must be met initially. For instance, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Focus on addressing that large need first.

• Validate his emotions without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re truly mad since I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I recognize it’s difficult because you truly want to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, and I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if needed.

• Concentrating more on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and also say loudly “I am angry!” Or ball his hands into fists and also growl. The point is to permit him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you earlier that positive parenting benefits every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens as well as everything in between. So let’s talk about teenagers in our next scenario … How To Discipline A Child Who Steals And Lies

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we intend to obtain from our child, we have to agree to offer first. If I am discourteous, manipulative and also sarcastic to my teen simply because I “have every right because I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?

It is a lot easier to give respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mom or daddy, you can set the example and show your teenager that you value their viewpoint, and also you respect them as an individual. How To Discipline A Child Who Steals And Lies

This does not imply you have to be a pushover. It does indicate you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.

In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our teenager to treat us with even more regard, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to everybody in your life. How To Discipline A Child Who Steals And Lies

Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer care rep on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking of. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this one with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share a personal recollection …

Just a few days ago, my 2 daughters were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, and also she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back as well as returned the swiped sticker, apologized as well as asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced as well as started playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or intimidate any individual to deal with the dispute. And also yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You know why? How To Discipline A Child Who Steals And Lies

Because we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to deal with disputes, and even exactly how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat every person around us with respect, and model the habits we desire, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.

Some readers may be curious about my spouse, Antonio, and his 2 adolescent sons from a previous relationship. Gradually, Antonio has started parenting positively too, as well as the restoration of their connection is nothing except miraculous.

So exactly how can you become a positive parent? How To Discipline A Child Who Steals And Lies

This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever before done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to transform your old ways. However little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or two from now, you won’t believe how much you’ve altered, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I advise anyone who is serious about coming to be a more positive mommy or dad to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. How To Discipline A Child Who Steals And Lies

You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media channels. Her products have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, as well as there’s no better parenting guidance you can genuinely use every day.

In her free class, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of any age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or screaming. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, and also find out how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the free webinar by clicking the button shown below. How To Discipline A Child Who Steals And Lies


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