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When I first became a mom, I recognized that I intended to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the best they could, yet they really did not have accessibility to the variety of positive parenting tools offered today. How To Discipline A Child With Down Syndrome
There were a few books on our bookshelf regarding taking care of power struggles, just how to deal with the stubborn child, and exactly how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My mom and dad don’t understand me.”
I’m uncertain just what they discovered in those books, yet I grew up with a lot of spanking, a lot of yelling, and also a lot of just plain tempers raging.
It was a tough period of time. And also our connection is still strained today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for what happened. I have actually begun to realize that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our responsibility to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I intended to stop the cycle when I came to be a mommy.How To Discipline A Child With Down Syndrome
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my answer How To Discipline A Child With Down Syndrome
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my first child was born. I started reviewing articles regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, screaming, harsh punishments and also basically every other generally approved parenting method.
I began to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I know there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to get their needs met. I discovered:
• Dealing with power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how every one of these concepts bring about healthy child development How To Discipline A Child With Down Syndrome
In the process, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. However he brought a different viewpoint. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship, and had actually seen firsthand just how being the “mean dad” might appear to work temporarily. But long-term, it was just fostering disrespect, contempt as well as bitterness in what was supposed to be a loving parent-child connection.
Given his background and also finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying and following through with positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting mean anyway? How To Discipline A Child With Down Syndrome
Let me inform you what it doesn’t imply. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids do whatever they want
• Being a passive parent
• Disregarding significant wrongdoing
• Providing your children whatever they want How To Discipline A Child With Down Syndrome
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no restrictions
You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the fact that collaboration always produces much better long-term results than harsh control.
Moms and dads who adopt this design have figured out how to promote:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)
• Setting healthy limits
• Developing a child’s foundational character traits
• Assisting children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they fear retribution if they don’t … After all, what takes place when they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be heard and also valued
• Assisting kids to grow their self-restraint
• Going deeper than simple outward compliance as well as concentrating on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first started on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t imagine that there were other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and also yelling. That’s exactly how I was treated as a child, and I obviously had no understanding about anything different. How To Discipline A Child With Down Syndrome
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually acted as parenting guide to countless moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.
Identify the root of the behavior
I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s usually simpler (and also a lot more usual in today’s world) to presume children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.
Yet we can progress a great deal farther towards addressing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They real needs similar to you and me. And also most times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and language development spectrum. How To Discipline A Child With Down Syndrome
A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-restraint) is not yet developed. That implies they can go from cloud nine one moment to major meltdown the next. Instead of battling a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Toddlers have little self-restraint to start with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is typically a main emotion below it
• Many upset children are actually scared and/or sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that need to be met first. For instance, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Focus on addressing that large need initially.
• Empathize with his emotions without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re truly angry because I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I know it’s hard since you genuinely want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if needed.
• Focusing more on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a large hug and also say firmly “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands into fists and growl. The intent is to enable him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting benefits all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and everyone in between. So let’s think about young adults in our next example … How To Discipline A Child With Down Syndrome
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we want to get from our child, we must be prepared to offer. If I am impolite, manipulative and sarcastic to my young adult simply since I “have every right since I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you think that communicates to my child?
It is much easier to provide respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mama or father, you can set the standard and also communicate to your teen that you value their point of view, as well as you appreciate them as an individual. How To Discipline A Child With Down Syndrome
This does not indicate you have to be a pushover. It does indicate you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish a lot more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we desire our young adult to treat us with more respect, the primary step is to make certain that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. How To Discipline A Child With Down Syndrome
Are you gentle to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer support associate on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking about. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can answer this one with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share a personal recollection …
Just the other day, my two young girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, and also she said she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then came back and returned the stolen sticker, said sorry as well as asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and begun playing once again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or threaten anybody to solve the dispute. And yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You know why? How To Discipline A Child With Down Syndrome
Because we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to solve disputes, and even exactly how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat every person around us with respect, and also model the behavior we want, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some visitors might be curious about my husband, Antonio, and also his 2 teenage sons from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has begun parenting positively as well, and also the repair of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.
How can you come to be a positive parent? How To Discipline A Child With Down Syndrome
This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to transform your old ways. Little by little, you will make improvements. And also a year or 2 from now, you will not think just how much you’ve transformed, together with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I suggest any individual that is serious about becoming a much more positive mommy or father to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. How To Discipline A Child With Down Syndrome
You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media networks. Her materials have been life-altering for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.
In her free class, Amy shares just how to get kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT manipulating or screaming. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, as well as discover how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the totally free webinar by clicking the button below. How To Discipline A Child With Down Syndrome
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