How To Discipline A Toddler Who Hits – Just How I Chose Positive Parenting to Once And For All Get My Kids to Behave

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How To Discipline A Toddler Who Hits
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mama, I understood that I intended to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mother and father did the very best they could, however they really did not have accessibility to the myriad of positive parenting tools available today. How To Discipline A Toddler Who Hits

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf about taking care of power struggles, exactly how to discipline the stubborn child, as well as how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I distinctly recall thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”

I’m not exactly sure just what they learned in those books, yet I experienced a great deal of spanking, a great deal of screaming, as well as a lot of just plain tempers raging.

It was a hard number of years. And also our relationship is still not the best today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for what happened. I have actually come to recognize that, while no person is without fault, it is our duty to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wanted to stop the cycle when I came to be a mommy.How To Discipline A Toddler Who Hits

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach How To Discipline A Toddler Who Hits

My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest little girl was born. I started checking out articles about how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, shouting, harsh punishments as well as pretty much every other generally accepted parenting technique.

I began to believe, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I realize there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to get their needs satisfied. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Managing power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how all of these ideas result in healthy and balanced child development How To Discipline A Toddler Who Hits

How To Discipline A Toddler Who Hits

Along the way, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different point of view. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship, and had actually experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” could seem to benefit for the moment. In the long run, it was only breeding disrespect, anger and also resentment in what was intended to be a loving parent-child relationship.

Considering his background and finding out precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching as well as implementing positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyway? How To Discipline A Toddler Who Hits

Initially, let me tell you what it doesn’t imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a lazy parent

• Disregarding major misbehavior

• Giving your children whatever they want How To Discipline A Toddler Who Hits

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “the real world”

• Having no restrictions

You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting method identifies the fact that cooperation consistently yields far better long-lasting outcomes than harsh control.

Parents who adopt this concept have learned to foster:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Establishing healthy and balanced limits

• Developing a child’s fundamental character traits

Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they fear retribution if they don’t … Nevertheless, what happens as soon as they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be heard and also valued

• Assisting kids to establish self-control

• Going much deeper than plain outward compliance and also focusing on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially started on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t picture that there were other means to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and shouting. That’s just how I was treated as a child, and therefore I obviously had no understanding about anything different. How To Discipline A Toddler Who Hits

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and also creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.

Right here are a couple of the strategies Amy shares to help you to become the mama or dad you have actually always wanted to be, and also encourage your child to reach his/her highest potential.

Discover the root of the acting out

I told you this is deep stuff. It’s often easier (as well as extra common in today’s world) to presume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

We can get a lot more toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs much like you and me. As well as many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. How To Discipline A Toddler Who Hits

A toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-discipline) is not yet developed. That implies they can go from cloud nine one moment to major meltdown the next. So rather than dealing with a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Toddlers have little self-control to begin with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that suggests there is always a key feeling below it

• The majority of angry children are in fact frightened and/or very sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any kind of basic needs that must be met first. For example, if a child is starving or exhausted, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Concentrate on addressing that large need initially.

• Acknowledge his feelings without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re really mad due to the fact that I said we could not play at the park today. I recognize it’s tough due to the fact that you really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to safeguard yourself if required.

• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a huge hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The goal is to allow him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting helps any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everything in between. So let’s use young adults in our next scenario … How To Discipline A Toddler Who Hits

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we want to get from our child, we must be eager to give. If I am rude, manipulative and sarcastic to my teen just since I “have every right given that I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you assume that teaches my child?

It is a lot easier to offer respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mom or dad, you can set the standard and also show your young adult that you value their opinion, and also you appreciate them as an individual. How To Discipline A Toddler Who Hits

This does not mean you have to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.

In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our teenager to treat us with more regard, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. How To Discipline A Toddler Who Hits

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer support associate on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking of. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share an individual recollection …

Just the other day, my two young girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, as well as she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned and returned the swiped sticker label, apologized and also asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and also begun playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate any person to settle the dispute. And also yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You know why? How To Discipline A Toddler Who Hits

Since we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, exactly how to resolve conflict, as well as even how to say sorry. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat every person around us with respect, and model the behavior we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some readers might be wondering about my partner, Antonio, and his 2 teen sons from a previous marriage. Over time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively also, and the restoration of their relationship is nothing except a miracle.

Exactly how can you become a positive parent? How To Discipline A Toddler Who Hits

This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I have actually ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to transform your old ways. But little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or more from now, you won’t think how much you’ve altered, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.

I recommend any person who is serious about coming to be a much more positive mommy or father to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. How To Discipline A Toddler Who Hits

You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media channels. Her products have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, as well as there’s no better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.

In her totally free class, Amy shares how to help kids of every age to behave WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, and discover how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the totally free webinar by clicking the button shown below. How To Discipline A Toddler Who Hits


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