How To Discipline Child In Sweden – Just How I Chose Positive Parenting to Once And For All Get My Kids to Listen

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How To Discipline Child In Sweden
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mommy, I recognized that I intended to do things in a different way than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the best they could, yet they really did not have accessibility to the plethora of positive parenting tools available today. How To Discipline Child In Sweden

There were a few books on our bookshelf about dealing with power struggles, how to discipline the stubborn child, and how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I noticeably recall thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m not sure just what they learned in those books, yet I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of screaming, as well as a great deal of just plain tempers raging.

It was a tough number of years. And our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for what happened. I’ve begun to realize that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I intended to break the cycle when I came to be a mom.How To Discipline Child In Sweden

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach How To Discipline Child In Sweden

My very own experience with positive parenting started when my first child was born. I started checking out material about how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, screaming, harsh punishments and also virtually every other traditionally accepted parenting strategy.

I began to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I understand there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to get their needs satisfied. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Resolving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how all of these principles lead to healthy and balanced child development How To Discipline Child In Sweden

How To Discipline Child In Sweden

Along the way, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually witnessed firsthand just how being the “mean dad” could seem to work for the moment. But long-term, it was just promoting disrespect, contempt and resentment in what was intended to be a caring parent-child connection.

Given his background and also learning precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying and also applying positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? How To Discipline Child In Sweden

First, let me tell you what it does not indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Disregarding major wrongdoing

• Offering your children every little thing they ask for How To Discipline Child In Sweden

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”

• Having no restrictions

You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique recognizes the truth that collaboration consistently yields much better long-term outcomes than harsh control.

Parents that embrace this design have actually figured out how to cultivate:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Establishing healthy and balanced boundaries

• Building a child’s fundamental character and morals

Helping children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not because they fear retribution if they don’t … Nevertheless, what happens when they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?

• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be heard as well as valued

• Encouraging kids to establish self-discipline

• Going deeper than plain external conformity and focusing on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially began down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t imagine that there were various other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also yelling. That’s how I was treated as a child, and therefore I simply had no framework for anything different. How To Discipline Child In Sweden

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and also creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has worked as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.

Right here are a couple of the methods Amy shares to encourage you to become the mother or dad you have actually always intended to be, and assist your child to reach his or her highest potential.

Find the root of the acting out

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s commonly easier (as well as more typical in today’s world) to think children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.

However we can get a lot further toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs much like you and me. As well as frequently their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. How To Discipline Child In Sweden

A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet formed. That implies they can go from happy one minute to major meltdown the next. Rather than dealing with a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-control to begin with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is always a main feeling below it

• A lot of mad children are in fact anxious and/or sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that must be met first. For example, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Focus on meeting that large need initially.

• Empathize with his emotions without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re really upset due to the fact that I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s hard because you really wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if needed.

• Focusing more on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a big hug and also say firmly “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands into clenched fists and growl. The goal is to permit him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you previously that positive parenting benefits any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and also everyone in between. So let’s think about young adults in our next scenario … How To Discipline Child In Sweden

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we desire to get from our child, we have to be willing to provide. If I am discourteous, manipulative as well as sarcastic to my teenager simply because I “have every right given that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you assume that reveals to my child?

It is much easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mama or daddy, you can set the example and show your teenager that you value their opinion, and also you respect them as a person. How To Discipline Child In Sweden

This doesn’t indicate you have to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will accomplish more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.

In a similar way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our teen to treat us with even more respect, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. How To Discipline Child In Sweden

Are you gentle to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer care rep on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be considering. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this question with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …

Just recently, my 2 young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, as well as she said she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, after that came back as well as returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and begun playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or manipulate anyone to solve the dispute. And yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You know why? How To Discipline Child In Sweden

Since we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, how to settle conflict, as well as even how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everybody around us with respect, and model the behavior we want, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some readers may be wondering about my hubby, Antonio, and his two adolescent boys from a previous relationship. Gradually, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively also, and also the repair of their connection is nothing except miraculous.

Just how can you become a positive parent? How To Discipline Child In Sweden

This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I have actually ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be challenging to change your old way of life. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or 2 from now, you won’t believe how much you have actually transformed, along with the closer connection you have with your kids.

I advise any individual who is serious about growing to be a much more positive mommy or father to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. How To Discipline Child In Sweden

You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any number of media networks. Her products have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly apply every day.

In her complimentary class, Amy shares how to help kids of any age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll assist you in starting parenting positive, and discover how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the cost-free webinar by clicking the button shown below. How To Discipline Child In Sweden


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