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When I first came to be a mama, I knew that I intended to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the best they could, however they didn’t have access to the myriad of positive parenting tools readily available today. How To Feed A Picky Eater Toddler
There were a few books on our shelf concerning handling power struggles, how to discipline the stubborn child, and also just how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”
I’m not exactly sure exactly what they found out in those books, however I grew up with a lot of spanking, a lot of yelling, and a great deal of just plain losing control.
It was a tough period of time. And our relationship is still strained today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve come to recognize that, while no one is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wanted to stop the cycle when I came to be a mom.How To Feed A Picky Eater Toddler
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan How To Feed A Picky Eater Toddler
My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I began reading blog posts regarding how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed with spanking, yelling, extreme punishments as well as virtually every other generally accepted parenting method.
I began to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I realize there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow every person to have their needs fulfilled. I learned about:
• Solving power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how all of these ideas result in healthy child development How To Feed A Picky Eater Toddler
Along the way, my husband Antonio joined my journey. However he brought his own unique point of view. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had seen firsthand how being the “mean dad” may seem to work for the moment. But in the long run, it was only promoting disrespect, anger and bitterness in what was supposed to be a caring parent-child relationship.
Considering his history and also finding out precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining and also employing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyway? How To Feed A Picky Eater Toddler
First, let me inform you what it does not indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a lazy parent
• Overlooking significant misbehavior
• Providing your children whatever they ask for How To Feed A Picky Eater Toddler
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will be required of them in “the real world”
• Having no limitations
You may see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique acknowledges the fact that cooperation consistently yields much better long-term outcomes than harsh control.
Moms and dads who adopt this concept have learned to cultivate:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced limits
• Developing a child’s foundational character traits
• Helping children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they fear punishment if they don’t … Nevertheless, what occurs as soon as they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be listened to and also valued
• Helping kids to grow their self-restraint
• Going deeper than simple exterior compliance as well as focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first began on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t visualize that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as yelling. That’s just how I was treated as a child, and I obviously had no framework for anything different. How To Feed A Picky Eater Toddler
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually worked as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.
Here are a couple of the methods Amy teaches to encourage you to become the mommy or daddy you have actually always intended to be, as well as assist your child to reach his or her complete potential.
Get to the root of the acting out
I mentioned this is deep. It’s typically widely accepted (as well as a lot more common in today’s world) to think children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
We can progress a great deal more toward addressing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They real needs much like you and also me. And also often times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and language development spectrum. How To Feed A Picky Eater Toddler
For instance, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-control) is not yet formed. That indicates they can go from cloud nine one moment to major meltdown the next. Rather than fighting a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-control to start with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is typically a main feeling under it
• Many upset children are actually scared and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any basic needs that need to be met initially. As an example, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Focus on meeting that big need initially.
• Acknowledge his feelings without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely upset because I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I recognize it’s tough due to the fact that you really really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if required.
• Focusing too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a big hug and say firmly “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into fists and also growl. The point is to allow him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I told you previously that positive parenting benefits all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and everything in between. So let’s think about teens in our following example … How To Feed A Picky Eater Toddler
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we desire to get from our child, we should be willing to offer. If I am disrespectful, manipulative and also sarcastic to my teen just because I “have every right because I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you assume that communicates to my child?
It is much easier to give respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mommy or dad, you can set the example and also show your teen that you value their opinion, and you appreciate them as a person. How To Feed A Picky Eater Toddler
This does not mean you have to be a pushover. However it does indicate you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will accomplish more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we want our teen to treat us with more respect, the initial step is to ensure that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. How To Feed A Picky Eater Toddler
Are you kind to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer care rep on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be thinking about. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this question with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …
Just the other day, my two young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, and also she said she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, after that returned as well as returned the stolen sticker label, apologized and asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced as well as started playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate anybody to resolve the problem. And yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You recognize why? How To Feed A Picky Eater Toddler
Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, exactly how to deal with conflict, as well as even exactly how to say sorry. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everyone around us with respect, as well as model the habits we desire, you would be astonished at what’s possible.
Some visitors might be curious about my hubby, Antonio, as well as his 2 teen sons from a previous relationship. Gradually, Antonio has begun parenting positively as well, and the restoration of their connection is nothing except miraculous.
So just how can you come to be a positive parent? How To Feed A Picky Eater Toddler
This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I have actually ever before done. I will not lie to you – it can be tough to transform your old parenting style. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And also a year or 2 from now, you will not think just how much you’ve changed, along with the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I advise any person that is serious about growing to be a more positive mom or dad to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. How To Feed A Picky Eater Toddler
You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media channels. Her materials have been life-altering for more than 75,000 parents around the world, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.
In her free class, Amy shares just how to get kids of every age to behave WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, as well as find out how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button below. How To Feed A Picky Eater Toddler
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